Dorian Yates - Inside The Shadow Full Movie

Full transcript: Dorian Yates, Inside The Shadow

0:23 Everything’s a thought. Everything’s mental. You create your reality with your thoughts.

0:39 You build your story with your mind. When I built this story, I wanted to be Mr. Olympia. That starts with a thought, then come the actions. I learned that I can apply that to many things and it can bring things into your reality.

1:46 Universally recognized as the best body on the planet for six years in a row. Dorian built his story by pushing his body to the limits of human potential. He sacrificed friends, family, and any concept of a normal life. He achieved extraordinary things, was worshiped for it. Then one day the same body that defined him failed him and destroyed his reality.

2:32 What does a man do when his entire identity is suddenly wiped out? He can give up, become the victim, or he can transcend it. He can choose to rebuild. He can reinvent himself. Everything begins with a thought, and then come the actions.

3:07 My name is Brian Rose. Like Dorian, I once had everything I wanted. I spent 10 years as a banker amassing more money than I knew what to do with. I took clients racing to Monaco and skiing in Switzerland. I had all the toys a boy could want.

3:31 Everyone thought I had it all and I was dying inside. One day I walked away from it in search of a new reality. I started a show called London Real. conversations with inspiring people that I broadcast to the world. It was my attempt to connect. It made me open up my heart and start to care about others. I began to reinvent myself and I started to heal. One year later in 2013 Dorian walked into my studio. I was surprised. He had never spoken at length to the media for his entire career, hence his nickname, The Shadow.

4:38 I didn’t expect to learn anything new from a bodybuilder, even if he was the six-time Mr. Olympia. But instead of talking about the body, he spoke to me about the soul. London realers picked up on his vibrations, and he became our most popular guest in history. Two and a half years later, he came back on the show.

5:06 Everything about him was different, the way he looked, the way he talked. His whole aura had shifted. Dorian had changed and I needed to find out more. After the show he invited me to his home on the southern tip of Spain. But why Spain? What was the shadow doing in the sun? I finally had my chance to find out what truly made him tick. I needed to see how this man had looked into the the abyss, embraced the change in his life, and totally reinvented himself.

6:21 My first day here, and Dorian told me to meet him at the gym, it was time for me to understand how the shadow was created. To do that, I needed to walk a mile in his shoes. The way I approach the contest is it’s Dorian Yates against Dorian Yates of last year. That’s what I’m trying to beat. I’m trying to beat Dorian Yates of last year rather than thinking about beating other people, which basically I have no control over, so that’s my competition.

6:57 Dorian had pushed past every physical instinct in order to reach his goal. He used anger. Hurry up, get out of the way. It can get you a long way. You guys are really fine.

7:16 I used it myself as a young man on Wall Street, obsessed with making money. What people gotta realize is when I’m on stage, When I’m in the gym, that’s my job. And to me, you know, it is serious. I take that seriously. Oh!

7:31 But Dorian took it to another level. Yeah! He pounded his body into submission day after day after day. Oh! Everyone has access to the same equipment, the same knowledge, even the same drugs.

7:49 Yeah! What made Dorian different, what made him a champion, was embracing the pain. Because where there’s pain, there’s growth. Dorian’s leg training sessions were notorious in the bodybuilding community. The bigger the muscle group, the bigger the pain.

8:19 Everyone dreaded his leg day. But every now and then, some sucker would venture up to Temple Gym and give one a try. It never ended well. Hey Brian, this is it. There’s the spot, right?

9:13 Welcome to the jungle, man. Love it, love it. What a great setup here. Yeah, we’re going to start outside, a little bit different from Temple Gym. Yeah, right?

9:21 Nice outside area with the sun and everything like that. So we’re going to start out there with a little bit of stretching, mobility exercises. OK, sounds good. And it’s leg day today, man. It’s leg day.

9:33 Straight in the deep end, man. Why not? You’re known for your leg days, right? So it’s going to be fun. Let’s go.

9:39 Let’s go outside. What do you look for when you look for a gym to train in? It’s really about the equipment, good hardcore equipment, and preferably conducive atmosphere. Okay. I can go to a gym where it’s, you know, these corporate fitness gyms, where if you’re making noise or you happen to drop the weight or something like that, then they’re gonna get upset.

10:08 So it’s hard to find a real good gym. And that’s what we had in Temple Gym. People used to feel it when they’d walk down the stairs. Like, gyms are somewhere where you do some hard-ass work. You’re gonna be sweating, you’re gonna be groaning, you’re gonna be making noise, and if that intimidates somebody in there, then they shouldn’t be in there.

10:26 It’s not a gym, you know? It’s all about the hard work. It’s all about the work, man. And do you try to leave it all on the table when you go in for a workout like this? Do you try to die?

10:35 If you’re gonna work in your comfort zone, why is your body gonna adapt and change? It has no stress. Muscle growth is an adaptation to a stress, yeah? So if you’re used to this level of stress, your body’s not gonna change. Guys, come to start training.

10:50 Their body’s not used to anything, right? So anything is gonna be a stress. Pretty soon, the body starts to adapt. And you see people, they will grow and they’ll progress for maybe a year, 18 months. And after that, they don’t really get anywhere.

11:03 Because now, your body’s got used to that. Now you gotta, every time, you gotta push beyond. You know, you feel good when you’ve pushed past your limits. That’s where all the fun happens, right? That’s the satisfaction of going there, and every impulse is telling you not to do this because it’s hurting like hell, you know?

11:24 And it’s tough, but it’s like a habit. If you can overcome that, it’s going to be easier next time. And that’s like life. If you’re going to just fold and fall down, oh, this is a good chance you’re going to do that next time and next time it becomes a habit, you know? And other parts in your life.

11:38 Yeah, as well. That’s what we’re doing today, man. Good, I like it. I had a guest on my show, and he was a Navy SEAL. And he said he used to ask the guys before Bud’s training, why are you going to do this?

11:49 Why are you going to make it through Hell Week? And one guy would be like, because I want to be the baddest Marine ever. And one guy would be like, because I don’t want to let my family down. And he’s like, what are the guys that made it through? Always the ones that had a higher purpose.

12:00 Yeah, that’s your motivation. And my motivation when I was bodybuilding was I wanted to change my life. I didn’t want to be in everything that was surrounding me and the limitations that people believed that they had. And I had this kid, I’m reading these magazines about these guys, and it was like no incident. I mean, this is a different world, right?

12:24 And people couldn’t even relate to it. But I was determined to be successful, at least to some degree, from day one, you know? And that was your ticket out. Yeah. How hard you could go in the gym was your ticket to almost literally transport you to another world.

12:40 Exactly. How hard could I go in a gym? How well could I stick to my diet? How well could I, you know, make sure I got enough rest and didn’t get distracted? And there’s a lot of things to it.

12:51 You know, the gym aspect is just one part of it. To have an intention. Absolutely. You’ve got to have a goal, you know? It’s like you’ve got to have a plan and a desire.

13:00 Because if I’ve got a desire, when it gets really uncomfortable, you’re probably just going to say, hey, screw this. This is enough, you know? All right, so we’re gonna do a light set To get the movement get everything get the blood in there and do a medium set So further, you know get the body in the mind ready. Yeah, and then the last set is gonna be like Like somebody’s got a gun to your little baby’s head Yeah, and He’s gonna pull the trigger unless you f*cking give a hundred percent. It’s life and death Like, one set, then we move on to another exercise.

13:37 The toughest stuff is first. Trust me, those three exercises. The other ones are tough, but the three quad exercises are the beast, you know? I just had a little baby, so the gun to his head references is very, yeah. I thought so.

13:50 I thought it would work. That’s pretty painful. Yeah, that’s a thing. Are these like the plates you had at Temple? These are old school, right?

14:51 Yeah, these are real weights, man. Real, old iron. You prefer this? Yeah. Don’t want to be too sanitized, you know?

14:59 It’s not nice. It’s nasty to shit, you know? Nasty, right? Dark and nasty. Yeah, exactly.

15:04 You got to get angry. You got to push. You got to visualize whatever helps you get through that set, you know? I used to do, you know, I say to myself, this is for my family. This is for my wife and my kid, and, you know?

15:18 And even, like, kind of a f*ck you motivation. This is for everybody, like, if I can’t do it, you know? Let’s see about that. This is them laughing at me when I don’t want to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

15:28 And this is because I don’t want to be… Like them. Like that guy, you know? All right. I don’t want to end up like you.

15:34 I got a fight. I got a guy out there, you know? And so it’s you in the way. It’s keeping you from being like that guy. Exactly, yeah.

15:39 How? There are two words you don’t want Dorian to say. One more. Does it frustrate you when people that are uneducated I think that steroids is the missing link as opposed to what you just saw in there, just going past your limits. Ah, you know, not really, because people who don’t know, they don’t know, you know?

16:18 Maybe if I knew nothing about bodybuilding, I might assume that, because a bodybuilder looks like something really strange, right? Like a freak, but we all know that guys cycling around the mountains and other athletes use steroids, maybe not to the extent that bodybuilders do. It’s it’s part of the game. We never deny that but we’re seeing what this is what it’s all about Yeah, this is what it’s all about. Steroids just help you to recover from this, right stress You know more efficiently and as you get bigger and stronger, it’s harder for your body to recover, you know And it gets to some point where you just reach the ceiling because you can’t recover from the exercise That’s why I tell people that you know They haven’t been training very long or beginners Yeah, you don’t need steroids and then if you’re gonna compete maybe then you’re gonna make a choice But I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody that doesn’t compete I don’t see the point because you can’t once you stop taking the steroids. You can’t keep all those games you cannot yeah, so Then you get somewhat of an addiction with people because they they feel good to be this powerful guy And they don’t want to lose that so then they’re in a cycle of continuously taking steroids, which is yeah Yeah, would steroids help you with a little extra aggro in the gym?

17:31 Testosterone is a male hormone makes you you know, it gives you that drive gives you that aggressiveness yeah, so you’ll get you know, you will get that from steroids and You got to be careful that doesn’t spill out into other areas of your life, which you know It does sometimes with some guys, you know, yeah, they can’t control that And I was very good at you channeling all my aggression in the gym and I didn’t have anything left for afterwards, you know, so I Uh, I didn’t have that problem, but, um, yeah. It will increase your ingressiveness and, uh, assertiveness and all the things we associate with being masculine male. Dude, it’s taxing.

18:53 I can see you’re already going a little, a little pale. There’s oxygen down there. Oxygen down there. A little bit of darkness there. Which is strange, because I do legs every week, but I don’t do them like this.

19:02 Yeah, well, not many people do, but if you want to get results, this is the best way to do it, you know? Yeah, you have to fight every impulse to stop. Yeah, but you knew we were there, right? You knew we were there. Nothing bad can happen.

19:16 But my loser brain tells me I’m going to get crushed. Yeah, yeah. And I have nothing in my legs. Yeah, so that just shows you probably, if I wasn’t there, you probably would have finished three or four reps less than we did. And that’s the key.

19:31 If I don’t do that, I don’t really make improvements. Everybody wants to know what the secret is. You just learn. That’s it. those last three reps, it’s just the fact that people aren’t willing to go to the most painful place in their brain.

19:44 Day after day. Day after day. Nothing special about this, it’s every day, call it day in the office, you know, it’s another day in the office, you know, this is what I do. And that was good, very proud of you, man. Okay.

19:57 All right, have a little breather. Okay. Walk around a little bit, walk around, move. Doreen’s proud of me, that’s a good sign. Yeah, that was pretty intense.

20:16 I didn’t realize it would be that mind-boggling. I’ve done these exercises before, but I’ve never done them with Dorian there. And so he just forces you to go extra hard, and he’s piling a lot of weight on there. So yeah, but I just trust him and then go for that. That last set I thought was gonna crush me, that last rep.

20:35 But he’s right, that’s what gives you the breakdown and the muscle that gets you to the next level. And most people, probably myself too, go to the gym and they train within their limits. So, but how are you gonna improve if you don’t get out of your comfort zone? It wasn’t really my body. I was very detached from it.

20:57 It was like a project that I was working on and through hard work and dedication, I could build this project. The challenge of doing something and being the best at it, not only the best, I wanted to like exceed what had been done before.

21:18 I’m good at this and this is what I’m gonna do and I’m just gonna put, you know, People say don’t put all your eggs in one basket, but I just had one egg, so better look after that egg and, you know, nurture it. We’re talking about the results of consistency of 10 years of dedication, day in, day out. Absolutely getting the most out of each day. It’s all about the work. Nobody worked harder than me in bodybuilding.

21:47 I’m sure of that fact. The guys that competed against me, they were so good because I was there. They knew this maniac, yeah, was over in England, in the cold, in the rain, in this dungeon, and he was just kicking ass, day by day. A lot of deaths I’ve seen throughout my life. You know, my sister died when I was younger, my father died, my grandparents died.

22:22 So, you know, probably more motivation to really make something of this opportunity, this life, let’s do something. I’ve got to do this, and every day I’ve got to give 100% on that day of what I can do towards this goal. And kind of I was like living in a tunnel, living in a bubble where stuff was going on around me, but I didn’t really take much notice of it. You know, I didn’t get distracted. Try and find a picture of me smiling, 3.97.

23:01 Try and find one that’s very, very few pictures. I mean, that tells something to me now, you know? That very stoic, and I was known for not smiling on stage. You know, I created a whole other persona which people liked anyway. It was the mean, you know, Terminator guy that doesn’t smile and is like a rock, you know.

23:22 So, in a way, it worked for me, but it wasn’t in any way planned. That was just the way I was. This guy, he comes out of his gym in Birmingham, goes to a contest, devastates everybody and disappear, and everyone’s like, who’s that guy? Where does he come from? All this enigma and then disappears in his gym for another year or two years and just trains and doesn’t let anyone see him because he’s got a switch on all the time and then pops up again and just blows everyone’s mind and disappears again.

23:53 Like a shadow. I almost feel like a different person now. Now I feel really kind of going to know who I am, what I am and feel comfortable about that. But I’m 54 years old, you know, so I’m just starting to get there. Dorian invited me to his home on the beach.

24:21 We were a long way from Birmingham. Bodybuilding was so individual for me. I had to study the nutrition. I had to do the training. I had to find out how it worked with my body.

24:36 There were no teammates. There were no family. There was nobody to let me down. It was just all down to me, win or lose. And that was the appeal.

24:56 He said he had something to show me that no one had seen before. Something that would reveal his innermost self as it was back in his training days. Dorian always turned to London Real when it was time to open up. Year after year he came back when he had something new to reveal to the world. Dorian didn’t let many people in, but he trusted me.

25:24 You dropped out of school at 16? 16, yeah, I didn’t do my formal examinations or anything like that. So who taught you the scientific method that’s based in these books? Because I trained science as a kid, I became an engineer later, and it sounds like you’re holding a pretty strict protocol to a scientific method here. I don’t know. Nobody really taught me it.

25:51 It just came. Maybe I read a suggestion somewhere, it’s good to keep a training journal. I think Mike Mensa might have said it’s good to keep a training journal. But yeah, it was just very meticulous about what I was doing, very serious about what I was doing from day one. day one I mean we’ve got some of the books here fished out haven’t got them all here but this one is from May 1984 to October 1984 and I started training in 83 and look what we got on here strength of body power of mind And this is, you know…

26:32 What is that symbol, too? That’s interesting. I don’t know. I don’t even know. I did it at that time.

26:36 You’re channeling some energy there. Yeah, I don’t know, but, you know, we’ve got stuff on there, mass and power. You know, I’m a kid, so I’m still just, like, a little bit kid-like, you know? But high-intensity training. Mm-hmm, you ready?

26:50 We’re talking about high-intensity training already. Yeah, it’s got asterisks there. Yeah, ceiling unlimited is just… It’s interesting, because these all have nothing to do Nothing to do with weight training, specifically. It’s more to do with the mental side, more to do the mental side of it.

27:05 And I always saw that as the key. And that was my strength that I had over everybody else. So we got in here, had a layoff for five days, probably was feeling tired or something. A bit smooth watch diet. So you’re already watching your body.

27:23 Yeah, yeah. OK, it’s funny, man. It’s funny for me because I haven’t read these things for years. years, right? So here we got Monday, 27th of May, 1984. Lack of motivation and concentration, I’m totally ashamed of this lame workout. Total intensity blasting from now on. So I must have had a bad day and I’m having a word with myself. Having a word with yourself.

27:45 Just what are the things you see here when you’re going through here? I mean, it takes me back to sitting in my one bedroom council flat in Castlevale. Castlevale was the state. Castlevale, it’s a council estate. It was notorious at the time.

28:03 I think it’s a bit more civilized now and violence. I mean, if you didn’t live on Castlevale, you didn’t want to go on Castlevale. You wouldn’t go on there. It’s very tribal at that time. I think things have changed now.

28:16 Yeah, I was dreaming to make it out of there. I don’t really know if I knew, but I knew good things were coming. You know, I was doing something here positive. I was putting my energy in it, and something good was going to come out of it. I know I had potential to be do something I think I started thinking well I’m great if I could be British champion one day something like that, you know that medium goals. Yeah, and I think it’s important not to have your goals. It’s okay to you know Think in the back of your mind, you know, I want to do this But if you only think about that, it’s so far away. It’s not it’s not a real you got to break it down It’s a smaller goals and this I’ll be sitting in my apartment writing this stuff down I remember now being there I mean even when I won the British Championship I was British champion and I came home to this council flat very sparsely furnished as I said just a mattress and I have a proper bed a couch and a TV and a cooker and that’s it but I don’t remember being unhappy or anything like that you know it’s just really happy to be driven and doing being able to pursue these goals.

29:27 I might be my first Mr. Olympic contest and people might think, well, he’s going to be overawed by the occasion and intimidated. There’s no way, you know, I’m prepared psychologically. I believe in myself and, you know, I’m coming to show everybody what I’ve done. Mainland just kept myself to myself and I was this quiet guy that, you know, just used to catch the bus and go to the gym and come back again and, you know, walk down to the supermarket and get his groceries and cart them back to the apartment.

29:55 Did they even know you were a bodybuilder? Um, yeah, people recognize, you know, they recognize the physique when it starts developing. Probably for the first couple of years, not really. And because you stayed covered up on the show. Yeah, I was always covered up.

30:08 I wasn’t doing it for anyone else. And it’s kind of like I didn’t want to show anybody because it wasn’t ready yet. It’s like an artist with this painting. They don’t want nobody to look at that shit until it’s finished, you know? I like to go home, you know, in my own environment with my own family, my own friends and everything where I feel comfortable and just train there and nobody knows what’s going on, and I’m working day in, day out, all year round to improve my physique, and then I can pop up, you know, here like at the Mr. Olympia, and everybody’s gonna be saying, well, what happened to this guy?

30:38 You know, he could just haven’t seen me all year, so they’re gonna see the improvement. How do you equate those two Dorians in your own mind? This guy was literally daily goal-oriented, if not hourly, went to a train, went to eat. How much a train versus you now? And I don’t, it seems like your goals now are very, you know, general goals, I want to be a better person, I want to connect more.

31:00 I want to travel, I want to experience and, but without this groundwork and I look back and I’ve got a tremendous respect for this young guy, you know, because all the odds were stacked against no family, you know, support and background and encouragement, you know, I’m living on my own in a council estate and it’s just so far away from what, you know, the home of bodybuilding in America and stuff, so I was just dreaming about it. Did you take time off between a big win? Well, that was leading me into a recollection that I had.

31:34 After one, Mr. Olympia, I don’t know which one it was. And so, Dorian, when do you start training, when do you start preparing for next year? How long do you like next week? Like with a straight face, next week?

31:50 I’m like, sorry, what do you mean? Next week. Yeah, like all year man all year. I don’t take any breaks You know somebody asked me one time like why don’t take a couple months off training. I said, why don’t you take a couple months off?

32:04 Sex Push in and push in Resulting in getting injuries and whether I did gets the next level. That’s a matter of opinion I think some areas I did improve even after the injury a lot of people don’t really know this but This year had a lot of problems With injuries and so on and there’s a couple of times I really thought it wasn’t gonna be possible for me to be here and be competing in the Mr. Olympia But I persevered I pushed through and it makes this victory all the more sweeter and it makes me Reinforces how important the title is to me and I’ll be back next year. Definitely back next year and better than ever

32:50 But obviously that once you got that bicep injury like that, it’s never gonna be the same. So that was a weakness I felt threatened by my injuries only, but 95, no. I remember feeling very positive, 96. And 97 was, you know, with a tricep injury. That was my most doubtful moment.

33:08 But 97 was very tough, not one I enjoyed at all. I was on the stage having to take painkillers, anti-inflammatory and stuff like that, and I didn’t feel like that indestructible guy. And it’s probably the nearest I came to being beaten beaten by Nasir Al-Sambati. The funny thing was, as I said, this total tunnel vision, this total dedication to this lifestyle and this goal, I was starting to feel uncomfortable with it. I was starting to think, this is starting to feel like a job now.

33:48 Aura was definitely down that year, you know? It didn’t make a lot of sense to me at the time, but now it does, because I know I know about energy and auras and that kind of stuff. In pretty serious news about your career at the moment, can you tell us more about that? Yeah, as people may know, in training for the last Mr. Olympic competition, I had a very serious injury, which occurred about three weeks out from the competition.

34:30 Almost completely tore off the tricep tendon. I’ve had sex facts before. I’ve had adverse circumstances, and I’ve always got to the top, so I’m sure that will be the case once again. It’s actually clinical depression. after retiring from bodybuilding.

34:58 Somebody close to me died in tragic circumstances. My marriage was breaking up and getting divorced. I stopped cold turkey taking anabolic steroids, which is a powerful hormone and obviously has effect on your mentality. Thankfully, the one thing that I think saved me so that I was not that guy that was just lying in bed and didn’t get up in the morning was that I always went to the gym. I always felt a bit better afterwards and you know, you see a guy at the gym and you talk a little bit But then I go home and like What am I doing? No But there’s no goal there anymore

35:52 Thing and stuff, but I felt with my injury. I just felt again I don’t I don’t want people to look at me because I’m not happy with the way I look now with the injury, you know The thing for me though was it was a bit traumatic because it wasn’t a choice It wasn’t planned everything else I’d done was strategic. It was planned the contest when I should do it And it was planned out, it was military, you know? And here, boom. Like, what are you gonna do now, you know?

36:18 But perhaps I’m philosophical about it. Perhaps that had to happen because my life had to change a direction, you know? It was very… It was very limited. It was tough, you know? Really tough mentally, because I’m getting up in the morning, and what do I do now?

36:36 What’s my motivation? You know, this all-consuming thing as an athlete, I came to the conclusion that a lot of people seek to replace that and I know a lot of top I mean high-level super after you’re talking about sugar-alented here and people like that Frank Bruno as well and a lot of people get into the whole drugs thing and I got the theory on that because they’re looking for that high that thing that you got from competition but I realized pretty quickly you’re not gonna replace that you cannot replace that because it is what it is and certainly drugs are not going to do it for you. If depression is living in the past, partying was Dorian’s attempt to live in the present.

37:24 William Blake once wrote, The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom. You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough. Excess was something I knew plenty about. In the banking world, you are practically defined by how much you consume but it’s a slippery slope and many never make it back I met Dorian and part of the news the hedonistic seaport where he had once chased his demon can you tell us about some of those party days when you know before you met gal when you were single I don’t know what I thought I was gonna watch this thing a little bit because there is no dark without the light or yeah exactly you know what it was I think I went through this transition Thing When I retired and you know, everything fell apart, my nephew passed.

38:28 Away very young tragically my marriage was breaking up my career was ended it was like you know I was falling into this pit and then I just like you know my whole construct was like falling apart right yeah so I think often people that you know start to get spiritual they go through this like crisis first you know And maybe that’s what it was and I started reading a lot reading a lot of religious stuff and that’s where I started You know, I started reading books and gathering information and realizing, you know things weren’t exactly as I I thought they were Are that they you know growing up and watching TV and going to school and all that stuff But I think was almost too heavy at that time Yeah, I was then getting the facts but like what I’m gonna do about this, you know So it was a little bit like, okay, but I’m just going to have fun now, you know?

39:25 Yeah. So, yeah, I’ve partied a lot in Vegas, in the States, New York. You know, the whole weekend is just out there partying, different girls and all that stuff. I think I had to do that because I was living such a restricted lifestyle. You were impressed because you were living like a moon for those 14, 15 years.

39:42 Yeah, so I had to go through all that to, like, get balanced out a little bit. Right. And, you know, when I met Gala, I was, I guess I was pretty, slightly balancing out and she helped that process. So that was at the end of 10 years of that, right? Yeah, man, I mean, not just, not like, hey, I’m just a hedonistic party animal all the time because I was still, you know, still eating healthy, still going to gym, all that stuff.

40:03 But on my trips away and things like that, you know, I go hell for leather and I partied just as hard as I’d trained and anything else I’d do. So yeah, I was into that crazy stuff, man. I mean, I was thinking today, several times, guys offered me their wife. Like, Dorian, you’re so cool, I like you so much. And my wife likes you as well.

40:26 You know, you want to have her, you can have her. And that’s just a crazy thing. How do you respond to that, Torian? Usually, you know, like, a little bit thanks a lot and just like kind of smooth it over. And that one time I was like, OK, let’s go for it.

40:43 Yesterday you told me that someone once told you you could never have too much money or too many women. Yeah, that was Mike Mensa. It’s like, you know, he was talking about training. Right. Everybody thinks more is better.

40:57 Well, more is not better with training, you know. Definitely not. And, you know, he’s just making a joke. Like, the only thing that’s more is better is money and women. And I wouldn’t agree with that, you know.

41:10 Right. Bring more money, more women, bring more problems. So, um, yeah, but it was a funny statement. It got people’s attention, you know? Just had a question about the old party days before I put those to rest.

41:22 Um, there’s a picture of the web, and there’s a girl that has a tattoo on her somewhere that says Dorian’s girl. That’s Gal. That’s Gal, okay, all right, okay, good. Uh, are there many of those out there? No, that’s unique to Gal, that tattoo, as far as I know.

41:37 And I think meeting Gal was definitely calming and stabilizing influence. So we make a great team two unusual animals I was telling the guys I was like try to conceive of the fact that any nightclub you go to in the world Most likely the doorman not only know you they’re huge fans of you Yeah, and that must boggle your mind the access you get to everything. Yeah, that’s great because Whatever you want to call it, you know fame celebrity. I Got a little bit of it, you know and the advantages of those advantages, right? Yeah Well, I can walk down the street and most people don’t know who the hell I am because it’s like a niche thing Yeah, if you’re into the gym world guys like idolize me, you know, it’s like, you know That’s what they do and I got right to the top and they know what that f*cking involves So got a lot of respect and everything like that and they’re very happy to meet me and entertain me and everything But, you know, I walk around here, most people don’t know who I am unless they know me, they’ve met me, or they’re into that world.

42:51 So I’m not like, you know, I’m not going to get harassed walking down the street. Which is nice. Yeah, it’s great. That would be a nightmare, you know? And most of the, you know, I’m usually just walking around, I’m not walking around in Mr. Olympia mode.

43:05 It’s almost like, you know, that’s almost like an act, right? You know when you’re working, you’ve got to be that guy. And people looking for that guy, but when I’m not, I’m not even, you know, I’m just I think I’m a normal guy, and sometimes people are looking at me and doing double takes, and I’m half thinking, why are they looking at me? And then I realize, oh, okay, probably, you know, he’s recognized me. Well, you look like someone who is someone.

43:24 Yeah. That’s what it is. I don’t know. Walk past the boats and the crazy expensive cars and go get a cheap ice cream. Let’s do it.

43:30 All right. I was a little uneasy about meeting Dorian at his private members club. I had a funny feeling this wouldn’t be like any place I knew in London. This was really not my scene. Nice meeting you here.

44:31 Good to see you. Yeah, cool, huh? Let me show you around the place. Joe’s Smoking Club. This is Joe’s, huh?

44:37 Yeah, my private members’ club for people that appreciate cannabis. It’s like a collective we all put together and support the club so we can get good quality cannabis when we need it. Right, and this is a really relaxed, chill atmosphere. Yeah, it’s a nice place to hang out. We got pool tables down here, a nice seating area upstairs, some nice music and so on.

45:03 So I’ll show you upstairs now. Yeah, let’s take a look. It’s almost like they built this place for me, because first, when you go up the stairs here, you’ve got this guy, Bob Marley. And you’ve got Bob tattooed on your front shin, right? Here we go.

45:21 We’ve got Bob Marley here. We’ve got Bob Marley on the wall here. So here you’ve got the upstairs nice seating area. Some cool messages on the wall. I love this.

45:33 That’s what it’s all about, right? Peace, love, enjoy, relax. That’s what it’s all about, and that’s why we’re here. There was one condition for this whole trip Dorian had insisted upon. Finish the whole thing off on Sunday night.

45:48 Of course, Brian has promised to smoke a joint with DY. That could be the most dangerous thing you ever agreed to. It could be, it could be. We’ll have to get that on tape as well. We will, we will.

46:01 I was hoping he would forget about that one. Yeah, it’s my friend Davdaw, what’s up, man? What’s up, man, all right? How are you? I’m Brian, good to see you.

46:10 So what’s on the list today? Yeah, we got the strawberry, kosher course, bling bling, white widow, and some mango, which I haven’t heard of before. Like you said, this is the kind of club you want to be hanging out at, right? Because it doesn’t have all those other bad side effects that a lot of clubs have. No, exactly.

46:31 I mean, you go to a nightclub, and people are drinking a lot of alcohol. There’s always a possibility of violence there, you know? Something’s going to happen, and people throwing up, getting sick, all kind of madness going on. You don’t get that in a place where you get cannabis. People are just relaxed, nice, and social, and nice, and quiet, relaxed atmosphere, you know?

46:52 Very nice. Wow, what do we have here? So we’ve got Abdolso looking for sativa. Sativa is in green brine and strawberry. Green brine and strawberry.

47:03 The white brine and strawberry is 50-50. Yeah, yeah. And of course, she’s a heavier one if you want to sleep, yeah? Yeah. That’s medicine, huh?

47:11 Yeah, that’s not my preference. Wind’s blowing. Oh, you tell me. Whew. Concentrate.

47:25 It’s kind of fruity smelling one. That’s probably why it’s called strawberry. So for me, I’m just going to have a grandma for the strawberry juice. Used to be in one joint now. It lasted me a few days now.

47:35 It used to be one. Yeah. Wow. All right. I was wondering if you could tell me about your relationship with cannabis.

47:50 I’ve reduced a lot and got a lot more control over it, where before it was getting a bit habitual, you know? Because the plant has a spirit. And it said the spirit is like inside. The spirit is like controlling you, you know? And that’s what happens.

48:06 It’s very seductive, and you can take too much, and then it’s not such a positive thing. And this plant is a teacher plant, just like the ayahuasca. It’s a teacher plant, and it’s a helper. Too much of it is not good. It’s in balancing your energy.

48:21 So you need to, you know, get on top of that. So I still smoke, but it’s way less than I used to. And now I do it with respect, and I do it with some intention. Why am I smoking? Just to watch TV and stone out, you know, or, you know, I’m a smoker that can help me relax, to go to sleep, or to want to help me see more, to visualize more, to think outside of the normal box.

48:50 Nothing’s all good and nothing’s all bad. There’s, you know, shades of grey. psychedelics they are controversial but effective my history with the plant teacher ayahuasca had reinvented my life enough to make me a father at 45 years old Dorian once told me the ego gets in the way and sometimes it needs to be destroyed where drugs once expanded his muscles now they expanded his mind typical of Dorian, he went to the extreme with the most powerful psychedelic, DMT.

49:38 What do you take away from those DMT experiences? It’s a tremendous amount of information that you get in. And it was like the higher me talking to me and telling me like the biggest problem we have here really on this planet, on this plane, is the ego, you know? The ego gets in the way of everything. And the ego is not really, you know?

49:58 It’s the ego is just a construct we’ve formed in this. Yeah. Was ego what built your whole career? Probably. I mean, initially, why, you know, why would you want to be the best in the world at something, you know?

50:10 I guess it must be your ego. On our first episode, we spoke about DMT. You had even said that we were gonna spoke DMT together. I went on to do a before and after episode, but I know you had an experience with DMT. You did it without me, man. I’m so proud.

50:26 You kind of disappeared. You couldn’t wait, right? Yeah, I went into the shadows again, the shadow, you know. I call it a door opener for me to like, wow, you realize it’s, you know, there’s another world out there and where we live is just like, it’s just a narrow piece of light. And taking psychedelics, it takes you out of that and you see that there’s more out there.

50:49 I don’t know if I would take psychedelics again. Maybe I would take ayahuasca again if I felt there was a reason if I had something I really wanted to know or work on or something like that but it comes to a point where once you picked up the receiver and you got the took the call put it back down and you don’t need to take that call again. And you much prefer ayahuasca over DMT because it’s a it’s a longer message. Well now I’m gonna contradict my first interview aren’t I?

51:18 I gotta be honest it’s like something I would never do again so I just met my future wife and And I said, look, I’m going to take this stuff now. And she said, oh, I’ll look after you. I said, probably going to puke and shit myself. So if you still fancy me after this, it made me as sick as you can. I mean, this stuff was just like drinking paint stripper.

51:35 It was just to get it down was a chore, you know? But as far as, like, revelations and hearing things and seeing things, I didn’t get too much. I was quite disappointed, to be honest. Now I look back, I did hear something. Now I recall not what I wanted to hear, not what I wanted to see, because I didn’t really see anything much, but I got a repetitive message in my brain, stop poisoning yourself.

52:01 Because I was drinking, doing the party drugs sometimes, all this kind of stuff, so I was poisoning myself. And the ayahuasca gives you what you need. And at that point, that’s all I needed to know and hear. Forget about seeing your spirit animals, mate, and all that stuff, and great revelations of what life’s all about. Stop poisoning yourself.

52:23 That’s my advice to you right now. I love to be in the sun, man. 50 years of living in Birmingham, now I’ve become like a beach rat. Huge change since the first interview I did. You know, I was still just doing the same, training heavy, and, you know, I spoke to my business partner, he’s like, do some different things.

52:48 Got new interests with the yoga, and the meditation, and people always criticise me for being, like, not being, like, emotional on stage and not smiling and all this stuff. But I learnt that at an early age, when my dad died. I learnt to kind of control and hide the emotions. I don’t know why. It was just a big thing.

53:33 When I went back to school, I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want people to see me break down. I didn’t want to see me cry when I went back to school after that, you know? And I didn’t, and I think I always had that thing inside that I kind of suppress and control. But the first time I won the night of champions and the first time I won the Mr. Olympia, if you look at the footage, you see I’m biting my lip.

53:57 That’s like to suppress, to keep it, because I did feel like breaking down and crying because there’s accumulation of all this year’s training and all this, but I had to kind of control it because that was something I’d practiced for many years and got quite good at, you know? I actually look back at pictures of myself about five years ago, six years ago, when I was living in England, and I say, who’s this old, sick-looking white guy? Well, there’s a picture of you at London Real Studios with me from January 2013, so almost four years ago, and you do look different.

54:31 You know, you’ve got really close shaved hair. You do look, well, sicker than you do now. Now you look completely relaxed. You’ve got a beard like Ernest Hemingway, And you do look different even in that short amount of time. Yeah, well, you know, the inner self has changed, right?

54:45 So there’s gonna be some changes on the outside, I think. I mean, I noticed my wardrobe at some point. I don’t know what it was like a year ago, year and a half ago when I started doing yoga and started meditating. I’m like, what’s with all these black shirts and these gray shirts and stuff? I don’t wanna wear these anymore.

55:06 I don’t wanna wear yellow and orange and red. And, you know, it’s just a whole different feeling, different vibration. And that has definitely helped. I mean, I didn’t really know what meditation was. You sit there and you try to think of nothing.

55:21 And it’s almost like it slows everything down. So you don’t need your reaction to anything anymore. And it changes your vibration as we’re talking. And I think situations and the universe and people start reacting differently to. Do you think you can kind of drop parallels between that and when you used to lift in the gym are there similarities? I used to say that training was my meditation because it’s kind of you’re focusing on one thing, focusing on one subject. I’m focused on this exercise and lifting this weight and feeling the muscle stretch and feeling it contract and while I’m doing that I’m not thinking about anything else. So my mind is getting a rest from all the other Shit like whatever go do today. What about the bills? What about this? What about that?

56:08 You know, that’s all gone when I went to the gym. That is all gone. So exercise is a form of Meditation as well. It all goes it all fits together, you know meditation physical exercise Diet a whole thing the whole lifestyle it all goes together including yoga now including yoga. Yeah There’s a funny thing. Well, why did I?

56:31 And I started doing yoga. It was about two years ago. It was the last time I took DMT. And I made my very best effort to take absolutely as much as I possibly could. But in any case, I came back from that and I felt like something’s wrong with my body.

56:52 It’s all like, and I was like hunched over with the shoulders and I couldn’t even sit down in a full squat anymore. It was like I’m comfortable on my hips and my back. I thought, wow, this is not right. I need to straighten this shit out, you know? And I just got it in my head.

57:12 Yoga or tai chi or qi gong or something like that I need to do, you know? Never really occurred to me before. Looks like a woman’s thing, like silly things that hand up in the air and like squat 600 pounds and bench press 450. So I had these big, powerful legs and everything. So we got into a pose, a warrior pose, which is like a lunge, and you’ve got to hold it, you know?

57:38 I didn’t realize how long you held these poses. I thought it was a couple of, you know, I was there and I started shaking, I started shaking, and then I just buckled and I fell on the floor. And Gemma, who’s my instructor, just looked at me and went, Dario? Like, you know, like, hey, you know, big guy, it’s not so easy as you thought, you know? And it wasn’t, so I don’t fall over anymore.

57:58 I’ve got a bit better and everything like that. It probably would have been great for me to do a little bit when I was training. Would it help me to avoid some injuries? Would it help make me more mobile and flexible in the posing and stuff like that? So it would have had benefits back then, but I wouldn’t have listened to that back then, you know?

58:17 And a lot of people ask you now, Dorian, do you even lift? Yeah, no, I don’t even lift, man. It’s true, I don’t even lift. I feel like I’ve almost got a new body. That’s the benefit of yoga, apart from the fact that it’s not just a physical exercise, it’s a spiritual exercise as well.

59:40 You’re tuning yourself, I mean these guys thousands of years ago, they figured out these positions, do certain things to your body and to your energy and all that stuff. There’s been a few times when we, at the end, we do a meditation at the end to relax and a few times I physically start crying Not anymore, but I think there was stuff that had to come out. Yeah, I got a lot of options there. Because I was true, like, before, you know? I had to get a bit more female energy, whatever it is.

1:00:33 Don’t feel bad, man. Mr. Olympic cries. I figured of Dorian in 93, how he bit his lip in 92 when he won. And I was like, well, Dorian wouldn’t cry, so I’m not going to cry.

1:00:43 But I was close to crying now. That was on the wall, Dorian, right? Yeah, that’s the old Dorian. That was Dorian trying to suppress his emotions. But now I don’t try to do that.

1:00:51 I enjoy being with my teacher because I take a totally different approach to this where I try not to learn about it I try to be like I’m totally in your hands I’m a baby here. I don’t know anything That yoga session stirred up a lot of emotions from my past I’d come a long way in the last few years and seeing Dorian flowing with movement and energy on that beach Made me realize how far he had come there was a lightness to him You would never guess that this was the man they once called the Shadow. Now he was vibrant, spontaneous, with nothing left to prove.

1:02:09 He seemed truly free. Give me a hug, give me a hug. Thanks, man. All right. All right.

1:02:20 Come on, gentlemen. Have a seat. Have a seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s some shit.

1:02:26 That’s some shit, man. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know about my king. I think I would be proud to see that I’ve moved on and learned different things and I believe a lot of people become what I call crystallized, you know?

1:02:50 Very early on. This is who I am. This is what I’m about. And that’s it. I see it a lot with the people from the bodybuilding world.

1:02:58 It’s like they are Mr. Olympia or, you know, whatever champion they are and they’re a bodybuilder and that is what they are and that’s what they’ll be. It’s not like I’m dismissing my past. My past is, it made me who I am, but I don’t need to stay in the past, you know? I don’t need to still be that guy in the past, and I don’t need to feel, you know, the greatest thing in life, the greatest freedom is when you don’t give a f*ck.

1:03:27 You don’t give a f*ck what people think anymore. That’s really freedom, yeah? Dorian asked me to meet him on the beach. I didn’t know what for, But he had always trusted me. Now it was time for me to trust him.

1:03:41 F*cking right on camera, man. I’m getting Brian Rose live on camera. Smoking weed. We’re smoking for health. We’re smoking for awareness.

1:04:02 And just because we didn’t want it, really. Okay, so… You promised me, Brian, at the start of the week. And I was very smart of you to wait until the end of the week to smoke with me. It was, right?

1:04:17 Yeah. Well, listen, man, you’ve done the yoga. You’ve done the HIT training in the gym. You’re a f*cking fit dude, as well. So like I said, he’s not just this guy sitting in a chair interviewing.

1:04:28 He does this stuff himself. So now he’s going to do a bit of this. So I’m going to do a little bit more of what he’s talking about. And I will not let you over and dole, so that you fall over and I think. Thank you.

1:04:39 This is part of my education process. Here we go. Final take, London Real. Sunday, what’s the date? October.

1:04:47 Sunday night Sunday night We are in this today. I wanted to do this way. Oh, here’s number two Over to you, amigo. What is this stuff? This is actually what we got from the Joe’s Club while we’re there This is strawberry haze. Okay, very good. Good quality sativa. Yeah, you’re not gonna like wanna fall asleep So I don’t think you’re gonna be thinking about thinking about thinking stuff. Here we go I’ve gotten this. Thank you, Dorian.

1:05:31 You’re very welcome. Sharing is caring, man. In hell, deeply. There you go. You know what to do, man. Let’s go. Let it go.

1:05:47 Not bad, man. Not bad for kind of virgin… virgin ones. I’m gonna stand by. One more answer, sir.

1:05:55 Two each. Two each, man, and we’ll go for a little walk. Okay? It’s okay, Moby. It’s okay.

1:06:02 Whoo! There you go. Definitely getting real. Anyone that’s worried about Brian’s lung health and just referred back to Donald’s Tascans 20-year study with UCLA, check it out. All right, man. Well done.

1:06:24 Almost naturally, like, people have been weeded out of my life. You know? The wrong ones have gone, or I’ve realized, hey, you know, bye-bye. You know? Either I’ve done it or circumstances have done it, and you start to, like, you know, You want to be around people vibrating on the same kind of level.

1:06:57 Yeah. Yeah. And the same happened with me. And I attract all this great energy now. But when I was in banking, I affected no energy.

1:07:05 Yeah. And I had the money and the this and the that. But I didn’t have any friends, and I sure as hell didn’t come in contact with people like you or anybody else. The ruthless world, man. It’s what?

1:07:14 The ruthless. Yeah, it is. It is. It’s just all about you. You don’t get any good energy back.

1:07:19 No. And I was living proof of that. And then, like, all of a sudden, all these great people start coming into my life. And great things started happening to me. And it wasn’t coincidence.

1:07:28 It’s because I was doing this. And that’s why I never stopped, even though. I must be great meeting all those people, and I don’t know, meeting, sitting down, and, like, getting their views on stuff. They rub off on me. That’s part of the interest of the show, because people watch me.

1:07:41 And they see I pick up these little pieces from each person. Pick up something from me, though. A mindset from you. I’ll pick up something from this guy, that guy, that guy, and then all of a sudden, I look back and I’m a different person. What’s my main purpose?

1:07:55 What’s, why am I doing this interview with you now? It’s to try and help other people along their journey. And I think at this point in our evolution, people are waking up spiritually and they’re starting to ask all these questions. And that’s what’s important now. Trying to make the world a better place.

1:08:18 And how do you do that? People are saying, how do you change the world? We know about all this shit that’s going on. People know now the real situation in the world. They know it’s a lot of illusion.

1:08:29 They know things are being controlled. They know these excuses for wars and terrorism is false. They know that. But what can they do? Change yourself.

1:08:42 That’s, you know, that’s the message that I’ve learned. If you change yourself and you change yourself internally, it will change the world around you. And that’s all you can do as an individual. So that’s what I’m trying to do. So you look at- Hey, Dorian, what’s your plans for the future?

1:08:55 I’m not gonna hear, well, I’m gonna, like, open a hundred gyms and I’m gonna take over this and that. I may do that, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing is I’m raising my vibration. Life is like a movie, you know? It’s just a movie. It’s just game.

1:09:14 And you’re the director. What do you want your movie to be? What do you want it to be? It’s, like, you’re… It’s almost like that.

1:09:20 A movie or I equate it also to a video game, yeah? And you ask me what you know what yesterday What happens when you die? What’s it about and everything I? Think there’s levels to it You know in a video game want to get to the next level you got to collect so many points right or whatever And you’re gonna learn the cheats raise your energy level To move to the next life otherwise you just keep getting recycled back here That’s what I believe still things I’d like to do but I don’t particularly want to come back here and do this whole thing again So you’ve got to get to the higher level. That’s my goal. Yeah, I think we all need to get to the higher Just like in Casavelle you want to get out of there Yeah, and here you want to get out of out of here and I keep coming back man Yeah, I think I think maybe this could be my life when I realize that maybe the other ones you don’t you know so you’re gonna keep coming back and learning lessons and learning lessons, so That’s what I’m about now, you know, I keep one foot firmly on the ground and one foot somewhere else At the moment, you know, yeah, what is a challenge for you right now?

1:10:27 I mean, everyone has challenges in life no matter where they’re at and you know, you have a book coming out You have a great life. You’ve you’ve let me into last couple days. What is still a challenge for you? Learning is a challenge Learning I just want to learn more about you know, the whole thing. We’ve been talking about about what what is What is the reality? What is the purpose and I feel like I’m And I’m getting closer and closer to that.

1:10:52 And I’m sure if we speak in a year’s time, I’d love for us to say that’s even way out there, you know? And Yeats has lost it. Yeah, I have. I’m glad to lose it, you know? I have lost it.

1:11:08 I’ve lost the plot. Because what is the plot? It’s the, you know, the vision and the version of reality that we’re given through the various channels, you know, which I always knew. I had a feeling that things just ain’t right. A lot of things don’t make sense, you know?

1:11:28 And more and more, I realize that. So that’s the journey I’m on. Wanna get a better view of the world and try to think independently and realize that we’re all connected and everything affects everybody. Comes back to the tattoo on your front shin. So many things you keep saying.

1:11:46 One love, one heart. A guest on London Real once told me, you’re only as old as the last time you changed your mind. Yeah, beautiful man. Yeah, it looks like the wild west of those hills. In Dorian, I see a man who not only embraces change, but who is defined by change.

1:12:34 His life was once all about control, but he let it go. and everything flowed from there. I was proud to be a part of that change. So here we are at the top of the hill, Istan. I just wanted to say this, because I felt like saying it right now.

1:13:10 I’m here with Brian. Brian’s a guy that interviews me on London Real. I want to let people go. This guy doesn’t just talk, they talk. He walked the walk with me, a big DY.

1:13:21 We’ve done yoga together. We’ve done weights in the gym yesterday. And we actually did legs. Think about that. Anyone that’s trained leg with me.

1:13:27 And then we just come up in the mountains together. Not only did Brian keep up with me, he had a slight technical difficulty on the way up and recovered from that and still kept up with me. And I wasn’t taking it easy, so I just walked the walk. Brian talks the talk, so congratulations, Brian. Big respect, Brian, for doing that.

1:13:45 How many people can do that, Tonya, now? I’m changing because I’m becoming less private, probably. And the London Real is being good for me. I’m building less private, sharing a bit more with people. I’m showing, wow, at my age of 54, 55, there’s a lot of things you can do still.

1:14:07 I can do the splits a year ago. Now I’m doing them. You couldn’t break dance whatever a year ago, whatever it was, and now you break dance. I mean, you can do whatever the f*ck you want, you know? But you’ve been, you’ve got a version of reality in your head and your mind that you’ve had all your life.

1:14:23 And it’s f*cking, can be quite disturbing to start deconstructing that, you know? What you believe is good and right and wrong and real and not real so you just got to kind of keep an open mind be strong man that’s what it’s all about not just the physical it’s everything mental spiritual all together and that’s what I’m I’m kind of bringing that together now I think you know everything begins with a thought we have an idea about who we are that idea becomes fixed the ego takes over like Dorian says we become crystallized. It takes guts to destroy your old persona and accept change. But once you do, everything falls into place. I think it’s important that people start talking about their ideas as well because London Real started five years ago where I just rolled the cameras and started talking about how I felt, what I thought was important. You came on the show almost four years ago and talked about what you thought was important and all of a sudden we’re beaming all these Because it’s real, man. You watch TV, you got this news guy standing outside the White House, standing out of the House of Commons and telling your story, right?

1:15:39 It’s just a f*cking guy reading from a script on a mic, you know? We’re outside the mainstream media, right? We don’t need those guys. People want to see real stuff. They want to see people talking real things.

1:15:50 They don’t want to watch some bullshit chat show, and they’re on there to talk bullshit and promote their latest book and their movie, and just the same shit all the time. All the time people want to hear real stories. So let’s just keep doing it and keep growing and getting more information out there and Tuning more people into some real shit and out of the illusion, you know, that’s what it’s all about Put those they live sunglasses on if you’re not seeing that movie, you know, I’m talking about if you haven’t watch it

1:16:28 Dorian taught me if your identity isn’t serving you maybe it’s time. Let it go you