Full transcript: Brian Rose on London Real
0:00 Happy New Year. It’s January 1st and I’m sure you’re thinking about 2024, what I can do to make this year different. Well, let me tell you about a decision I made six years ago on New Year’s Day back in 2018 and this decision changed my life forever. I decided for the first time in 30 years to stop drinking for 30 days, right? You know, they do this in the UK sometimes. They call it like dry January or something.
0:37 And I thought, you know what? I’m going to try it. Like many of you, you might have overindulged on New Year’s Eve drinking stuff, hanging out with people. Maybe you didn’t even like trying to get drunk because you didn’t like the situation you were in or you didn’t like your life where it was. You know, one of my good friends, Wes Watson, says that vices are for people that can’t handle reality.
0:59 And when I look at it that way, it becomes a challenge to me. Why do I need that drink or that smoke or that line or that pill or that sex or that shopping or that whatever? It’s because I can’t handle my current reality. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe an alpha male or a female who really wants to do something in life should ever run away from their own reality. And if you don’t like your reality, yes, you can have a drink. Yes, you can do some drugs. Yes, you can have some sex. Yes, you can shop.
1:29 Or you can design a new reality. Now, again, back to last night, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really had a great New Year’s Eve party. Usually, it’s a letdown. I’m with people I don’t know. I don’t like. It’s not what I wanted it to be.
1:43 And I’m left thinking, what the hell is this? Well, guess what? You can take extreme ownership, thank you, Jocko Willink, and design your life to where next year you’re surrounded by people that blow your mind. You’re in a situation. I’m here in beautiful Dubai at the marina.
1:59 I was last night with my two beautiful boys hanging out with some really cool people. And I watched the fireworks at the Burj Khalifa. What an amazing night. And so that’s what I did. But that’s because six years ago, I decided to stop drinking.
2:13 Now, I was pretty much a lifelong functional alcoholic. Yes, it’s true. We’re everywhere. We’re your fathers, your mothers, your uncles, your aunts. We’re your bosses. We’re your politicians. We’re your leaders. We’re your engineers.
2:27 We’re your developers. We’re your teachers. And we keep it together during the daylight hours. But every night, we pull out that bottle. Sometimes we drink with other people.
2:35 Sometimes we drink alone. Sometimes we get out of hand and you can see it. And sometimes we keep it all to ourselves in a secret. You know what I’m talking about if you’re one of these. And every night, I would drink. I started this when I was 18 years old.
2:48 And I never stopped. That’s like every single day. And what that does is this. Every single night, I had a drink or 10 drinks or three bottles of wine or a bottle of gin. I would chip away at my self-esteem.
3:02 And down inside, I knew I was a fucking loser because I couldn’t break this one habit. I was supposed to be one of the smartest guys in the world, right? MIT, engineer, Wall Street, multimillionaire. And I couldn’t not have a fucking drink for one night. I was so ashamed of myself and I couldn’t stop it.
3:21 And it really, really got to me. And it ended up, it demeans my self-esteem, which demeans my output, my mission, the love I can give everybody else. And it makes me less effective. We don’t ever want people around us to have a low self-esteem. We want to build everyone up around us so they can be the best version of themselves and contribute to everyone, including ourselves and the world.
3:43 And so I challenge myself to this 30 days. And if I’m really honest with you, the only reason I was ready to do this was because of London Real. You know, I had never dedicated my life to the service of others. Before that, my life had all been about Brian, had all been about how much money he can make, how big his bonus is on Wall Street, what awards he could get, what degrees he could get. And so it was all about me, me, me, me, me, just giving you a 360 here.
4:10 It’s so beautiful here. And when I started being of service to others and contributing and realizing that we are all one, I think that helped me also because alcoholism can be something when you feel very lonely and you feel like you’re going to get hurt emotionally when you open up to others so you just pack yourself in this little inebriated, you know, bubble. And that way everything’s okay, or is it? And so it was me getting out there and creating and trying to selflessly provide value to others through London Real that I think allowed me to make this decision six years ago to stop drinking.
4:45 But once I made it, I stuck to it for 30 days and then when it was time to have that drink on February 1st, I said, wait a second, I fucking like this. And the beautiful thing is, is I had no excuses. So when I went to want that drink, I thought, oh, I don’t do that anymore. So it was no longer an option. It actually made it easier because I had made a decision with myself and the universe that I wasn’t going to do it.
5:08 It’s weird that way. Like when you decide I’m not going to do drugs, I’m not going to drink, then you actually don’t have to debate. Whereas when you don’t make a decision, you’re like, oh, should I have a drink tonight? No, I’m a loser. No, I shouldn’t drink.
5:18 I got a hard work today. Maybe I’ll have a sip of wine and you know how that ends up, you know, three in the morning, 14 shots of tequila later. And you call your dealer, right? You know what I’m talking about. And so 30 days turned into 60 days, turned into 90 days.
5:31 And I’m not going to lie. That first year I had some moments where I wanted to grab that drink, times where I was stressed out, times where I was so emotional. I didn’t want to deal with my emotions and grow and learn. I wanted to go back in that I inebriated bubble where nothing gets solved. Matter of fact, your life goes down and I pushed through and I showed myself that I was more powerful than I thought I was.
5:53 And I’m telling you, my self-esteem just got jacked up. People say, what are my greatest accomplishments in life? And you’d expect me to say London Real, Wall Street, my MIT degree, my two beautiful boys. No. My two greatest accomplishments in life are number one, kicking heroin in 2002 because that’s a motherfucker and I did it.
6:11 Fuck yeah. And getting off alcohol six years ago today. Those are my two greatest accomplishments because that took fucking determination, not willpower. Willpower doesn’t do it. It took determination.
6:24 It took a plan. It took discipline. It also took committing to something bigger than myself to make sure that I was the most effective person. So now getting drunk is not an option. I don’t ever want my boys to see me like that.
6:36 That’ll never happen. I don’t want to ever lose another morning hungover like you maybe are today because that gives me one less day to go out there and accomplish greatness. And this life is such a beautiful gift that we’re given. And how would I, how would I demean it by just wasting that one day away? And so look, if you’re on the fence and maybe you’re like me for many years where you’re like, why can’t I stop doing this behavior?
6:58 And that could be any number of behaviors for you. My good friend Gabo Monte says an addiction is something that you compulsively have to do that leaves you in a worse situation afterwards. I think it’s that simple. That could be any number of things. Social media, phone, all that stuff is just a way.
7:13 Of excusing yourself from a situation and not dealing with your reality. That’s all it is. And so make a decision because this could be the greatest decision of your life that could take you in a completely new scenario. And one day at the end of your life, you’re going to meet the man or woman that chose to be sober on January 1st, 2024, and they are going to be massively accomplished with loved ones and a big family and bestselling books and billions of dollars.
7:42 And everything they ever wanted. And then there’s your motherfucking ass. They chose to be weak again. Let me have that drink. Everyone’s saying, why aren’t you drinking tonight?
7:51 Why don’t you just have one drink? What’s wrong with you? You know that. Well, fuck those people. All right.
7:57 What are they doing to help you with your dreams? Nothing. So think about this. This is potentially the first day of the rest of your life. And I made this decision six years ago.
8:06 I’m so proud of it again. It’s number two on my list for the greatest things I’ve ever done with my life. Stop smoking a while back. Then it’s probably my two boys. Then maybe it’s London Real that we can talk from there.
8:16 And so that’s it. Just want to send out peace and love and just say, look, I’ve been there. And again, if you want to know my heroin story, go watch my movie Iron Mind on our website. You can find out about my drug addiction as well. This is real shit that yes, people like me, Brian Rose, were affected by because guess what?
8:33 Substances and addictions, they don’t discriminate, do they? They don’t. They affect everybody. And it’s your grandpa, your uncle, your aunt, your uncle, your teacher, your founder, your boss. We’re all afflicted by these things.
8:45 And so are you. So make a decision today. Make sure 24 is great. And really try to think about the bigger picture out there. How much more time do you have on this earth?
8:56 Is it days? Is it weeks? Is it months? Is it years? Is it decades?
9:01 Why not get the best and most of everything out of that? And that’ll make everything incredible and everything absolutely gangster. So I just want to finish by saying farewell to alcohol. If it was a drug that was created today, it would be banned by every single drug enforcement agency in the world. It kills more people.
9:20 It harms more people. It names more people. It causes more devastation than any drug on the planet. And yet, because it’s socially acceptable, because you throw the grapes in the corner and it becomes wine, then we imbibe it and we slowly kill ourselves every single day. Well, fuck you, alcohol.
9:38 That’s what I say to you, all right? I’m living my life on my terms and I’m proud of myself every motherfucking day because I don’t have to pick up that drink and be weak and sabotage my own self and my own success. So there you go, folks. Bye from lovely Dubai.
