Esther Perel - Sex & Infidelity

Bored in your relationship? Lost the spark and settled for less?

Marriage or long-term relationships can very quickly decay into becoming suffocating and emotionally draining, far from the liberating and erotic dizziness that first drove your courtship.

It’s part culture and part our fault. Our consumer attitude has seemingly perforated even our approach to one another. We take what we need and head on our way, and it’s killing not only our relationships but our ability to be happy. We have a contentment crisis on our hands.

It’s at this precise point that most affairs happen, as an attempt to reawaken desire. The thrill of the chase, the connection and the mystery of someone you don’t know.

In this episode, London Real guest esteemed psychotherapist Esther Perel suggests that “desire is fuelled by the unknown”, which is why when people cheat they feel not only free, but alive.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Eroticism, mystery and romance are possible in long term relationships. How? Well, she’ll go into that on the show. Connect with your vitality and creativity and revitalise your relationships in this compelling episode.

Esther Perel is internationally recognised for her groundbreaking work in the field of relationships and sexuality. With a unique and refreshing approach to love and intimacy, Perel has become a prominent figure in the realm of psychotherapy, challenging conventional notions and encouraging individuals and couples to rethink their understanding of relationships.

Esther Perel’s journey into the world of psychotherapy began in her native Belgium. Born to Holocaust survivors, she grew up with a keen awareness of the complexities of human relationships and the impact of trauma. Perel pursued her academic interests at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and later completed her graduate studies at Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Esther Perel gained international acclaim through her captivating and insightful TED Talks. Notable among them is her talk titled “The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship,” which has amassed millions of views. In these talks, Perel explores the intricacies of love, desire, and infidelity, challenging societal norms and prompting audiences to question their assumptions about relationships.

As a prolific author, Esther Perel has translated her expertise into written form. Her books, including “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” and “The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity,” have garnered widespread acclaim for their exploration of intimate relationships. In “Mating in Captivity,” Perel delves into the complexities of maintaining passion in long-term relationships, while “The State of Affairs” offers a nuanced perspective on infidelity, urging readers to consider the various dimensions of affairs beyond societal judgments.

Esther Perel’s work extends beyond the public sphere into the realm of private practice. As a licensed psychotherapist, she specialises in couples therapy, helping individuals and partners navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Her approach is characterised by a blend of empathy, cultural sensitivity, and a deep understanding of the human psyche.

Esther Perel’s influence reaches far beyond the therapeutic setting. Her thought leadership extends into the cultural landscape, challenging societal taboos and encouraging open conversations about love, desire, and sexuality. Perel’s ability to articulate complex emotions and relationships has positioned her as a sought-after expert in media, where she continues to contribute to discussions on love and intimacy.

At the core of Esther Perel’s philosophy is the exploration of eroticism and desire within the context of committed relationships. She advocates for maintaining a sense of mystery and autonomy within partnerships, challenging the notion that familiarity and routine must lead to a decline in passion. Perel’s work encourages couples to rekindle desire by embracing the paradoxical nature of love, balancing security with the need for novelty and excitement.

Esther Perel has further expanded her reach through podcasting. In her critically acclaimed series, “Where Should We Begin?” she allows listeners a rare glimpse into real-life couples therapy sessions. The podcast serves as a window into the complexities of human relationships, fostering empathy and understanding among a diverse audience.

Esther Perel’s legacy is rooted in her ability to challenge societal norms, spark difficult conversations, and offer fresh perspectives on the intricacies of human connection. As she continues her work, Perel remains at the forefront of reshaping our understanding of love, intimacy, and relationships, leaving an indelible mark on the fields of psychotherapy and relationship counselling.