Chris Voss is the former FBI Lead International Kidnapping Negotiator, who handled more than 150 international hostage cases, and spent three years investigating the first bombing of the World Trade Center. He is the co-author of the bestselling book ‘Never Split The Difference’ and the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that advises Fortune 500 companies to perform complex negotiations.
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00:00 | Trailer
03:42 Brian’s thoughts on the episode
05:59 Brian’s introduction
06:36 Negotiation technique applies to terrorists as it does in business and parenting situations
10:19 How Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un negotiations resolved after such an aggressive start
19:45 Power of likeability in negotiations
21:10 Unknown unknowns are the overlap of the unknowns
29:03 The use of silence
34:42 Massacre at 1972 Munich Olympics was the trigger for terrorist hostage negotiation
41:04 Never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better
51:12 Trying to get into the brain of other people has changed Chris as a person
55:02 The goal of the negotiation is not to get the other side to say ‘yes’
56:32 How sociopaths can be skilled at negotiation
59:02 The epitome of what you want to come out of hostage negotiations with
1:12:52 What hostage takers want from negotiations
1:14:53 Beware of the win, win offer
1:15:46 Turning a negative into a positive
1:26:35 Never be mean to someone who could hurt you by doing nothing
1:28:01 Be aware of where a winning a deal could later be lost
1:29:21 How he can train someone to become a negotiator if role-play is ineffective
1:33:37 Chris likes negotiation techniques that psychopaths and missionaries like
1:37:10 He continues to learn since transitioning into running a company
1:38:58 How a former Cop has transitioned through life and now keeps abreast of new scientific ideas
1:41:10 Women as negotiators
1:44:15 What a good deal should be
1:44:47 Influence of film portrayals of deal negotiations
1:46:12 Being empathetic makes life more interesting
1:49:16 How Chris dealt with a hostage situation that went wrong and people got killed,1:53:49 What is Chris’ super power
1:55:00 What scares Chris
1:58:20 What he will be doing in 10 years
1:59:34 What is surprising about Chris
2:00:48 What keeps him awake at night
2:01:40 Success secrets
2:02:24 Advice Chris has followed
2:03:43 Advice to 20-year olds listening who want to be more empathetic or lead but keep their own values
2:05:31 What Chris means by his book title “Never Split the Difference”
2:06:36 Brian’s summing up.
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