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Learn To Love Yourself

“I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of myself.”

Alexander Stensby

Life Accelerator Graduate

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Tell us about yourself.

Oh, that’s a big question. Let’s say my life started two years ago maybe. Everything that happened before that, I don’t really wanna talk about to people that I meet again, except maybe to learn something. But, I can no longer dwell on the past. I never lived my life, so it was time to grab a hold of that and start being Alex. I launched myself as Alex 2.0 a couple of years ago, and I’m still tuning in for 3.0 now this year.

Where are you from? What do you normally do?

I come from Norway. My father was Czech and my mother was Norwegian, so I’m kind of a mix. I never felt that I belonged. There was something missing, and I kept searching for something but I kinda didn’t find it, so at some point I dug into drugs, and alcohol, and all that shit, and ran away from life. I couldn’t keep that up anymore, so I had to do something. But I had a life, I had a family, I had a job, I had a car, and a house, and everything. Everything looked well on the outside, but on the inside I was just a mess.

What were you struggling with before you decided to join the Life Accelerator?

Well as many other people have talked about, we go through all these seminars, and we read all these books, and we see all this beautiful people telling us how to live our lives, right? And it seems great. And you come home, and a couple days later you forget all about it, and you fall back into your old pattern. I think I was actually looking for accountability, but I didn’t know it at the time, so it kinda fell into my lap. Actually, we had a party just before Christmas. Three of us shook hands that 2017 was gonna be the best year ever, and then suddenly you appeared in my life. That’s no coincidence. I don’t believe in coincidences anymore, it’s the universe talking.

When you decided to pull the trigger on the Life Accelerator, it’s an investment – what made you finally say, okay, I’m gonna go with these guys?

Well the thing is you have to be accountable, right? And if you investment a lump of money into something, it’s more likely that you will actually finish it. I started a lot of things in my life and didn’t finish much of it. I was thinking, okay if I put this much money into it I have to finish this, because I can’t afford not to.

What were your first experiences inside the Accelerator?

Well the first experience was to post a video of myself – I looked at it just a couple days ago, and I did not see a man of confidence in that video. I was dark in self pity. I didn’t like myself there, but we all kind of had the same start. None of us were confident. The first week when we started with the low media and the meditation, it kinda cleaned my life of a lot of noise. I had some resistance, but I dug into it straight away. It kept me going, and it’s been good for me, absolutely.

What was the first big a-ha moment?

– I don’t think I can put my finger on the exact moment, but it was like a gradual journey into myself. I had to realise that all the things that I thought that I had really have done before, I didn’t really go deep enough, so I had to do it again. Now I think I know myself a lot better, and I can look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of myself. It was like a slow progress. But maybe when we started to really eat healthy, that was deep. Kicking the sugar, I kicked a lot of habits, but that was probably the most difficult one.

What was the biggest challenge for you?

I would like to say relationships because it’s so personal. You really have to put your soul on the table, and look at it from outside, and say:

Who is this guy? What has he been doing? Who’s been running my life, and why am I not confident? Why am I not proud? Why am I not happy?

To look at that and see all the shit that you’ve been carrying around in your bag all the time and realise that you can actually just put it away. It’s like when you clean your house and you take away all the shit, all the books, all the records, all the things that you don’t really need anymore, there’s a lot of space left right? What do you wanna put into those shelves? Do you wanna put some nasty shit in there, or do you wanna put something beautiful and nice? This is how my life have changed now. I don’t wanna look at the movie with a lot of violence, and killing, and stuff. I don’t want to watch brainless interviews or articles, I want something of value. I wanna add something positive to my life now, something that I can enjoy, and use, and help other people to grow also. And if I become a better person, there’s so many people around me also who benefits from that. I never really thought about that. I was kind of full of myself, you know? I had enough to make my life be good.

Biggest take away from the Accelerator for someone watching or listening?

I have to say ownership and also confidence. To be honest, is there anything more attractive than confidence? You can’t have confidence unless you love yourself, right? So if you boil it down to one thing, then it must be self-love because everything else will follow. So learn to love yourself, that’s my lesson.

You had quite a transformation, you’re not the guy I remember from the first video…

Thank God for that. I kept blaming everybody else for my life, right? I did not step up and realise that I could change it. I could change everything because nobody else will. Stop worrying about everything else, change yourself and it will be good.

If you bumped into the Alexander who didn’t take this course, how is that guy different?

He would probably have no clue what to do today. He would just walk the street and look for something to enjoy, not having a clue what was actually happening because he wouldn’t be present. He would be planning for the future, or he would be stuck in the past somewhere. The present is where you can actually get what’s going on and just let it happen to you, that would be probably the biggest difference.

Talk to me about the people that were in your class.

It was wonderful to meet them. The way people opened up and talked about themselves, and just undressed naked, that’s what builds friendship when you can be real. It doesn’t matter who you are. If you just step up and be yourself, then everybody will love you. The people who don’t, you don’t care about that anymore because you build your little tribe, you build your little family. And I know that probably in 20 years time I can reach out to any of these guys and they will know me and I will know them. This has been a journey that we did together and it’s been awesome.