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IRONMIND - Episode 9: I Must Do This Alone

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Eight Days To Go

“I gotta go slay the dragon myself.”

In short: Episode 9 of IRONMIND, “I Must Do This Alone”, was published in May 2018, days before the race. After months surrounded by coaches and advisers, Brian Rose decides he has to travel to Chattanooga and race on his own, and has to explain why to his wife, who wants to be there.

John Joseph shares his rule on bringing family to races, and Brian collects last-minute advice from guests including Rich Roll, Ben Greenfield and former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink.

Key takeaways

  • Race-day focus. John told Brian that having family at the race can be a distraction, and that he would be under pressure from the moment he arrived.
  • Family comes with the territory. John acknowledged that with children it is a different story, because you have to be there for your family.
  • Expect chaos at the start. Brian was told to be ready for the first two to five minutes of the swim to feel completely out of control.
  • Trust your training. The advice from his guests was that the work was done, and that he should stay within himself and come back to his breath.
  • Don’t quit. Jocko Willink’s advice, drawn from Navy SEAL training, was simple: train hard and don’t quit.

Racing alone

John tells Brian that thousands of people are now following the series and have his back. When Brian asks whether he takes his partner to races, John says it is a distraction and suggests Brian’s family stay at home, while acknowledging that with children it is different.

Packing at home, Brian and his wife talk honestly. She worries about the swim, the 90-kilometre bike ride and the chest pain he has mentioned, and wants to be there in case something goes wrong. Brian explains that he needs to be in the zone and must do this himself, and promises to come home alive and with a smile.

Last advice before the race

Brian admits he has not yet got his head around the fact that there will be a race with thousands of other people. His guests tell him the training is in the bag, to trust his preparation, keep calm in the chaos of the swim start and enjoy the day.

Jocko Willink describes the bell that Navy SEAL candidates ring when they quit BUD/S training, and says his advice to anyone is the same: don’t quit. Brian then says goodbye to his young sons and leaves for Tennessee.

About IRONMIND

IRONMIND is London Real’s 11-part docu-series, released week by week in 2018, which follows Brian Rose from John Joseph’s challenge in New York to the finish line of his first Ironman race, a half-distance IRONMAN 70.3 in Chattanooga, Tennessee, with 90 days to train on a 100% plant-based diet. The episodes were later cut into the feature film IRONMIND, which is free to watch on londonreal.tv. This episode follows Episode 8 and leads into Episode 10, where Brian arrives in Chattanooga.

Frequently asked questions

What is IRONMIND?

IRONMIND is an 11-part London Real docu-series from 2018 that follows Brian Rose as he trains for a half Ironman triathlon in Chattanooga, Tennessee in 90 days on a 100% plant-based diet, after a challenge from Cro-Mags singer John Joseph. The series was later released as the feature film IRONMIND.

Who features in IRONMIND Episode 9?

Brian Rose, his wife, John Joseph, and advice from London Real guests including Rich Roll, Ben Greenfield and former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink.

Why did Brian Rose race the Ironman alone?

He felt he needed to be fully focused on his first race and that having his family there would distract him, although his wife wanted to come.

What advice did Jocko Willink give Brian Rose?

Train hard and don’t quit, the same advice he gives people heading to Navy SEAL training.

When was IRONMIND Episode 9 published?

It was published on London Real in May 2018, shortly before the race on 20 May.

“Ironmind – The Movie” is not affiliated with Ironmind Enterprises, Inc., the owner of the trademark IRONMIND®.

Chapters

0:00 | Intro
0:15 | Brian introduces the challenge
2:07 | Getting ready to leave home
2:48 | John Joseph on racing alone
4:43 | Packing and family worries
6:00 | Why Brian must go alone
9:00 | Advice before race day

Downloads

Full transcript: IRONMIND, Episode 9

0:00 This week on Ironmind. I’ve never done anything like this before. I gotta go do this myself, I gotta go slay the dragon. You’re gonna be under the gun when you get there. Train hard, don’t quit.

0:15 That’s the rules. My name is Brian Rose and I host a show called London Real. A few months ago, John Joseph, the front man of the hard core punk band The Cro-Mags walked into my studio. He’s the complete opposite of me. But something happened.

0:40 He challenged me to race the Ironman Triathlon in Chattanooga, Tennessee on May 20th, on 100% plant-based diet. Previously, Ironman trainer Samantha Murphy pushed me to the limit, and I got to see some old demons. John Joseph showed me the spirit world and I spoke openly about my heroin addiction for the first time. I returned to London and was told by Charles Poliquin that competing on my plant-based diet was impossible. We learned about John Joseph’s dark past and I pushed my body to the breaking point.

1:21 Then, Dr. Gabor Mate spoke to me about my unresolved childhood trauma. I’m 47 years old and have never run an endurance race in my life. But they say what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. This is my journey to the Ironman.

2:07 Almost there. Whoa, look at the steps Check him out. That’s always the case. This happens, keep both cards. Baby, let them figure it out.

2:19 I was doing the same thing with my brother. Baby, are you gonna miss me while I’m gone? How long you gonna be gone for? Six days. Six days?

2:36 Six days. Okay. Are you gonna miss me? Okay, no. No?

2:48 Yo, John Joseph. What’s happening, bro? How are you feeling about this? So, this series helped so many people, and those people that are in your corner they’re all saying hey man, we f*cking can’t wait to see how this goes. There’s a lot of people that got your back, I got your back.

3:06 Everybody has your back, and everybody wants you to do good. Let me ask you a question, John. Do you ever bring your girl to the races? Because my wife she really wanted to come, and I was like trying to get my head around having someone there while I’m trying to compete. What’s your rule?

3:25 She’s not, you’re barely gonna see her. You might hear her scream once. I mean, it’s a distraction. You’re not giving yourself a whole lot of time there, so I would suggest saying stay home. Because you’re gonna be under the gun when you get there.

3:45 And Samantha’s gonna keep in touch with me. Yeah, so Samantha’s gonna put you on our WhatsApp group, she’s gonna keep you in touch, posted every step of the way. How’s that sound? Okay.

4:02 What about the long-term effects? Because I was asking Rich Roll about balance, and I get it, I want to be there and finish this race on my own, but sometimes you pay for that stuff later. And how do you even balance your training and all the work you do with relationships? I have a very understanding girlfriend, she gets is. She knows this is what I do to make myself right.

4:27 Like Rich Roll’s wife was like, Yeah I knew what he was doing. He would leave in the morning and come back at night. You know, with kids it’s a different story because it’s not just you. You have to be there for your family. Can you help me pack?

4:43 Yeah, sure. You gonna be okay while I’m gone? Yes, I’m gonna be okay, we’re gonna keep in touch. Okay. Are you worried about this race?

5:09 Yes, I am. Because in so many ways it could go wrong. The swimming part is bothering me and the bike ride is 90 kilometres, so very long ride. You said that you have a chest pain and I don’t like that. I don’t like chest pain either, but it hurts a little sometimes in here.

5:33 Okay, okay. But like even if I feel a chest pain, I can’t stop. I gotta finish this race.

5:44 I gotta finish this race, babe, you know that. Dead or alive? No but seriously, you know I gotta finish this race. Yeah. Okay, here’s the moment you say everything’s gonna be fine I got it, don’t worry about me.

6:00 That’s it, you’re not going anywhere. Are you mad you’re not coming? Yes. Why? Because I wanted to be there.

6:12 Baby, I mean I know you wanna be there, but I think this is something that racers gotta do themselves. I mean I’ve been doing all this training, but to be honest babe, I think it’s actually distracting me from this race. This race, I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been, ever in a competition like this, with all of these people, it’s gonna be really hectic. And I just need to get in the zone, you know?

6:34 Because if I panic or get angry or anxious, then I’m gonna be a mess that day, and I just can’t have all these things I’m worried about. Do you understand why I gotta do it alone? Yes.

6:51 I still wanna be there because it’s important. And I wanna be there when you’re crossing the line or if something goes wrong, I’ll feel pretty much helpless here. If some man calls me and he’s in the hospital, Okay, keep me updated. I’m in the group, right, the WhatsApp one? And I want to be there because I have a false idea that I can control things when I’m there.

7:18 I think I can make stuff happen, if you need an ambulance I can be the first one calling it, and I can be helping you, and I wanna be more in control of things and now I’m not. But I understand that you have to do it on your own, and Samantha can be there and you can be in good hands. But I just, I’m anxious about it, that’s all. Well I understand you wanna be there, babe, but I gotta go do this myself. I gotta go slay the dragon myself.

7:45 Okay. I’ll bring its head home and I’ll bring it to you, you can cook it up. Okay. Is that okay? Babe, I’ll be thinking about you and the boys the whole time The whole time.

8:00 I will be. I know, I know.

8:06 Okay, do what you have to do. You sure? Yes. What? Nothing, what if you need a blood donor?

8:14 I’m A positive, the same group as you are. You are? Yeah. You’re really worried about me. Yeah.

8:24 I’m gonna be happy when you come home with a smile. Okay, I will, promise. I’m gonna come home alive with a smile. Promise? Yes, I promise.

8:34 And I’m finishing. Okay. Yes? Yes. Yes? Come on.

8:39 Yes? Okay. Okay, you gonna slap me? No. Come on.

8:45 No. Come on, I wanna be a rapper, just slap me. No. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I got my head around the fact that there’s gonna be a race, you know? I mean, I’ve been doing all this training but being in the water with all these people and cycling next to all these people, I mean like…

9:00 You know this shit’s for real now. Just do your race, don’t worry about anybody else. For the most part, the training’s in the bag and there’s nothing you can do about that at this point. So I think the first thing is to just trust in what you’ve done, the preparation that you’ve done, and just have faith that it will pay off. Stay within yourself and not let the externalities throw you off your game.

9:28 You need to be mentally prepared for about the first two to five minutes be completely out of control. Meaning you’re gonna get hit in the face, you’re gonna get, your goggles are gonna get scratched or pulled off. It’s all gonna be about keeping your wits about yourself and sort of focusing on that kind of persistent conservation You start to push yourself to the point where things are…things are starting to burn. I tell myself okay all this training, everything you’ve put into this whole day, now’s the time to make sure that you cross that finish line.

9:59 You’re gonna have to just keep coming back to your breath, just stay calm. It’s a long day, there’s no need to panic. Whatever comes your way, you’ll be able to manage it and hold onto it. And just enjoy the day. Always preparation is everything.

10:14 It’s just like, you know, in the military they tell you the same thing. Attention to detail, like nothing survives first contact with the enemy. They say that too, so that in other words, there’s gonna be contingencies, but if you’ve worked through it, and you’ve got the training in, then when the test comes and a bump in the road, you’re gonna get through it.

10:41 Do it with everything you’ve got and no matter what, never quit. And always, always keep getting after it.

10:58 I don’ know the details of what it’s like to be in BUD/S, but I know in BUD/S, there is a bell that you ring yourself when you decide to quit, right? If you wanna quit, you ring that bell three times, that’s what happens. Grown men, whose dream it was to be a Seal, that get there, that did all this physical training and all this preparation and signed that dotted line and committed to six years. And they show up there and they get to that training and they ring that bell.

11:30 What does it take to not ring the bell? Don’t quit. People always ask me what should I concentrate on to… What’s your advice for me going to BUD/S? Don’t quit.

11:39 Don’t quit. Train hard, don’t quit. That’s the rules.

11:51 The only way to know what’s in the core of a human being is to rip that thing apart and see what’s in there, and until you rip it apart and see what’s in there, you don’t know. Papa’s gonna go, we need to say goodbye to Papa. Bye-bye everyone. Bye-bye Papa. Babe, is he upset that I’m leaving?

12:18 Yeah, that’s how I feel. You okay? Yeah, be smart, yeah? Your health comes first. Alright baby, I’m gonna be alright.

12:24 Yeah? You be okay? Alright. You got both of them? I got them.

12:32 You got both of them? You sure? Yes. Okay. Alright, I’ll be back.

12:38 Okay, bye. Next week on Ironminds. This city is just all about the race. You start to see the fever of the whole thing when you get in town. And people get out there to f*cking silence their enemy minds.

13:12 In 2001, I nearly died from a heroin overdose. That’s why I’m dedicating my very first iron man race to help those similarly addicted by raising money for addaction, one of the U.K.’s leading mental health drug and alcohol charities. Thank you.

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