IRONMIND is the story of my challenge to race the IRONMAN 70.3 triathlon with just 90-days to train on a 100% plant-based diet under the guidance of the hardcore punk icon John Joseph (lead singer of the Cro-Mags).
Making this movie forced me to confront the dark demons from my past, including a struggle with drug addiction.
This was something I’d kept hidden for years, but in 2018 I told everyone in my life that I had survived a heroin overdose in 2001 in New York City.
Let that sink in for a moment.
It took me 17 years to tell my biggest secret.
I had kept this from everybody. I was running London Real and nobody around me knew about it. My wife didn’t even know. But then John Joseph walked into my life.
John challenged me to run an IRONMAN race and in the midst of all of that, he also helped me share my story.
This is why we created the IRONMIND movie. I figured if I shared my darkest moments, it would also help other people face their demons.
The film follows London Real founder Brian Rose back to New York, the city he left in 2002 after his Wall Street career fell apart. John walks him through Alphabet City on the Lower East Side, where John grew up on the streets, and shows him the Hare Krishna tree and temple that helped him get clean. Then John sets the challenge: a half IRONMAN in Chattanooga, Tennessee, on 20 May, about three months away. Brian has not been on a bike in 20 years.
Back in London, Brian trains around the show and a young family. He hears opposing views on whether plants alone can fuel an athlete, gets run down and needs a vitamin B12 shot, and talks through the roots of his past addictions. On race day in the Chattanooga heat, he finishes in under six hours, ahead of John, whose chain broke on the bike.
Watch now and discover:
Where was IRONMIND filmed? In New York City, mainly the Lower East Side, and in London, where Brian trained. The race itself was filmed in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
How long is the film? About 1 hour 40 minutes.
Did Brian finish the race? Yes. He finished the half IRONMAN in under six hours in intense heat, on a 100% plant-based diet, and crossed the line ahead of John Joseph.
Is it free to watch? Yes, IRONMIND is free to watch on londonreal.tv.
“Ironmind: The Movie” is not affiliated with Ironmind Enterprises, Inc., the owner of the trademark IRONMIND®.
0:00 | Cold open: two men, two New York pasts
2:48 | Brian’s first meeting with John Joseph
4:50 | John challenges Brian to return to New York
6:53 | Alphabet City and the Hare Krishna tree
11:33 | John’s challenge: a half Ironman in Chattanooga
15:18 | The twist: training on a plant-based diet
18:42 | Swim training in the “washing machine”
20:34 | John on materialism and life as a monk
28:50 | Samantha Murphy’s first coaching session
36:55 | Brian tells John about his heroin overdose
45:22 | Brooklyn Bridge: Brian commits to the race
47:10 | 86 days to go: training starts in earnest
54:31 | Charles Poliquin doubts plant-based power athletes
58:10 | Rich Roll on plant-based endurance
59:15 | Brian shares his story with Mariana
1:03:23 | 33 days to go: run down and a blood test
1:07:01 | Dr Gabor Maté on the roots of addiction
1:14:12 | John’s concert crowd cheers Brian on
1:17:42 | Arrival in Chattanooga: heat and course recon
1:22:31 | Race morning: meditation and prayers
1:25:55 | Race day: the heat and a broken chain
1:29:04 | Brian crosses the finish line
1:32:49 | Is the next challenge a new addiction?
1:35:35 | Can John forgive those who abused him?
1:37:38 | Mountains into pebbles: John’s closing message
0:01 As human beings, we have the tendency to make mistakes. The good thing about mistakes is that they are tests. Adversity builds character, and sometimes only when we suffer do we look for truth. And although it’s no fun when we’re going through it, in retrospect a lot of the stuff in my life turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
0:29 When most kids were just hitting puberty, I was out on my own, a seventh-grade dropout running wild. New York was one of the most violent cities in the country, and if you didn’t mind your Ps and Qs, you were gonna have problems. It was a town of outlaws, and growing up back then taught me some valuable lessons, lessons that help me survive in any situation, anywhere in the world.
1:14 Wall Street in the ’90s felt like the Wild West. It was the place to make more money than you ever dreamed of. Greed was good, and I wanted my share. A young man looking to prove myself and compete with the big boys, but my biggest enemy turned out to be me. When I was in New York, I don’t know if I was ready to compete. I think I was still chasing demons of my own. I failed, so I went to London to start over.
1:56 He’s a banker turned TV impresario. How did you make the transition? I had enough one day. I just walked out, had no idea what I was going to do, and then I started broadcasting people and ideas that changed the world. The way to change the world is to let people know how you’ve changed. I’ve been impressed by the power of a conversation. It’s had a big effect on me. Up until I was 40, I always felt disconnected, but this show forced me to change, and sometimes I meet someone who takes me on a new journey.
2:40 Ten, nine… Let’s do this. Five, four, three, two, one. This is London Real, I am Brian Rose. My guest today is John Joseph, the musician, author and triathlete best known as the lead singer of the hardcore punk band the Cro-Mags. Growing up on the streets of New York City, you survived abuse, drug addiction, prison and later a violent stint in the navy. You credit the Hare Krishna movement for helping you get through your darkest times. At 55 years old you compete regularly in Ironman triathlons, raising money for charity, and you’re here in London on tour with the Cro-Mags. John, welcome to London. Thank you, man. Thank you, Brian, pleasure to be here.
3:01 You wouldn’t know by looking at me, but when I left school in Boston, I moved to New York City in ’93 and I was drawn to the East Village, right? I was working as a banker, but all my boys were living Upper East, Upper West, and I thought it was fucking boring as sin. But tell me, what was that area like back when you were there, ’70s, ’80s? They called it Alphabet City, because it’s Avenue A, Avenue B, Avenue C, Avenue D. You go to Avenue A, you’re adventurous; B, you’re bold; Avenue C, you’re crazy; Avenue D, you’re dead.
3:42 When did you start knowing that you wanted to be a musician? I always was attracted to music. No matter what hell we were going through, music was the salvation. The mind could be your best friend or your worst enemy, that’s what it says in the Bhagavad Gita, so you use the mind as a tool. You have to learn to harness that shit. I’ve been dealing with that my whole life. That’s my message. I did it, you could do it. You know, if you fight through this shit, you could get through it, because if I could do it, anybody could do it.
4:05 John, thanks so much for coming on. Thank you, Brian. This has been awesome. Awesome talking. And epic. Yeah, man. I mean, I wasn’t… I’m glad you had some time down there in Alphabet City too, you know. I know, I’ve been around there. I saw some of what’s going on there. Yeah, yeah. And look, I appreciate it. I was looking forward to talking to you, because you’re a fascinating dude. Thank you, brother. There’s a lot of philosophy behind what you’re doing. Thanks for dropping all these stories and science on us.
4:45 Greetings from the frozen apple called New York, how’s it going? Dude, it’s going good, man. Your London Real episode is blowing up, buddy. Everybody’s loving your vibe, your crazy stories. Talking the old-school stories, I know I brought back a lot of memories, fond and otherwise, for you, but I was thinking, I need to get that motherfucker over here, man. I got no business being in New York City, man. I was there, I spent four years there. There’s a reason my ass is in London.
5:29 You know, my story is this city could chew you up, it could spit you out, but there’s a lot of bad fish, a lot of growth. You know what I call New York City? The ultimate bullshit detector. That’s the way I remember that place, man. It just brought out the best and the worst. I mean, it was no joke for me, John. Some shit happened to me blocks away from where you were, and it wasn’t all very nice.
5:49 I ran from my demons and they were always waiting for me. There’s only one or two options: I’m gonna man the fuck up and I’m gonna come, or I’m gonna be a pussy and I’m flaking on you and I’m gonna hide out with my little English friends over here, you know, and drink tea and biscuits. Come on over and, you know, walk these haunted streets with me a little bit. Regressive therapy type shit. Oh my God, John. I don’t know, man. Maybe we got unfinished business, you and me. Let’s see. Let’s see, that’s on you now.
6:57 Welcome to the LES, the ABCDs of survival. New York was a pretty dangerous place back in the early ’80s. There was no East Village, Manhattan, with its trendy little cafés, bars and shops. It was called Alphabet City, the LES, or Lower East Side, a drug addict’s heaven filled with junkies, musicians, and your hybrid junkie musicians. The city’s parks were hunting grounds where dead bodies turned up on the regular. It was never a dull moment, and plenty a holy fucking shit. Call me a freak, but I thrived on it.
7:42 You fucking made it! John Joseph, this is it, huh? This is where it happens. What’s up, man? Glad to see you. Glad to see you, man. Glad to see you, man. This place has changed, man. Give me a hug, motherfucker, pull it in, bro love. I actually sit here every morning and I do my meditation at the bench here. Really, right over there? If you see the plaque on the Hare Krishna tree, this is where the Hare Krishna movement started. In America? Right here, right fucking here. And Prabhupada, it was the first place he chanted Hare Krishna with people outside of India, so he would chant here with the beatniks and the hippies and the beat poets, and they would all just chant right here.
8:26 You want to hear something crazy, John? I used to come and sit right here on this bench in 2001, after everything was going to shit. 9/11 happened, my girlfriend of six years left me, my best friend from college fired me from my job, and I used to sit right here on that bench and just get a little quiet in my life, and I had no idea the Hare Krishna tree was here. This is a holy pilgrimage; people come from all over the world. It’s strange being back here, man. Yeah, dude. It’s changed. A lot of shit has changed, man, a lot of shit has changed over here. I’ve never seen people taking their little kids down here.
9:10 These people don’t even know. I try to tell motherfuckers, like, you know, Daniel Rakowitz lived down here, the East Village butcher. He fucking killed his girlfriend here and made soup out of her and fed her to the homeless under that statue over there. They’re like, “What? Oh my God.” So it’s like they don’t know the fucking history. I still have my memories, like you do, being down here. Yeah, there’s still something special about this, even though I got bad memories. I don’t want to think about this place in a bad way, you know? You know, what was the impetus for you to come here in the first place? I mean, look, New York City, man, right? For me it was Wall Street. Can I go and be there with the best? What drew me, it was dangerous, you know? And that’s the same thing that got me in trouble.
10:16 Yeah, well, you know, sometimes you gotta cut and run, man. Everything, all our life experiences, comprise who we are. If you didn’t go through that here, you wouldn’t be in London. What you see as a fucking curse ends up being a blessing. I don’t know how many times I’ve fucking had that shit happen to me. I saw that as my whole childhood. I would be like, why the fuck did I have to grow up without parents and be in a home and be on the streets and get locked up and be addicted to drugs? It’s all…
11:03 The future is unwritten. How you want to live your life is determined every single day when you open your fucking eyes. It was up to me to wake up every day and try to better myself. Okay, day one, what’s my day one? I’m not gonna smoke crack today. And that was so fucking tough, because I couldn’t run, I had to fight my demons right here.
11:27 You know, I got this race coming up. Another challenge, I always put a challenge in front of me. So I signed up for Chattanooga. I’m gonna go over to the bike shop. I was thinking, show you that side of New York too. I got the machine over here. This is my ace mechanic. I love this shop because it’s like my homeboys work here, it’s like the fucking old-school shop.
12:09 Why you doing Ironmans? What it really is, is about beating down your demons every day, facing your demons. It’s discipline, you gotta do shit when you don’t want to do it, and when you’re at that start line, everyone’s conquering their demons, man. I do it as a way for the motherfuckers that didn’t make it out of all this shit, and to show the next generation you can do anything you apply yourself to. So Ironman is: you swim, you get out of the water, you get on your bike, and then T2 transition, bike to run.
12:53 How long’s the break in between each thing? None, none, you don’t take no fucking breaks, dude, there aren’t no fucking breaks. You ain’t checking your Facebook page. You get up out of the water and you’re fucking running to get your bike shit on, you’re running, it’s move, move, move, move. This is not pussy, man. This is Ironman. I didn’t call you here to check out the bike. I called you here for a reason. And even when I first talked to you, I realised when you left New York you was running from shit, but now you’re back, first time in 15 fucking years, and I want you to do this half Ironman with me in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Hold on, don’t freak the fuck out.
13:16 What the fuck you talking about? May 20th, you are coming to Chattanooga. I’m not taking no for an answer, motherfucker. You’re coming May 20th, you are coming. May 20th, that’s fucking three months from now. Yo, you are coming. I got London Real, I got a full-time show, I got two young boys, I’m turning 47 this year. You already have that fucking mindset in here, dude. I see what you do, you’re just non-stop doing shit, but this is gonna teach you a whole new level of focus. You’re gonna fall in love with this sport.
14:02 This is serious training, man. I’m gonna tell you what, I’m gonna tell you what: you’re here till Sunday. I want you to train with me, starting tomorrow. I’m just gonna take you through some stages. Let’s train for the next few days, let’s see what’s up. That’s what we’re gonna do, and have fun with it. Okay. No pressure. Ha ha. You’re in New York, don’t go smoke no crack. I’ll see you tomorrow, man. All right, bro, peace.
14:22 I had an education from the university of the streets, and that’s something you can’t find in any college curriculum. It was a magical time in the city and I wouldn’t trade my experiences for all the money in the world. Those times are long gone, and now New York City is a sterile, safe version of what once was. I have to say I’m glad I was there, and in some ways maybe it’s cool the city has changed. At least my mom can walk down the street without looking over her shoulder.
15:24 Yo, John. It’s the ball-buster, I’m here to bust your balls, let me in. What’s up? What up, bro? What you got going on over there? What’s that I smell? Little eggs, little sausage, you know. Bro. Did you read my book? You know my book, right? Yeah, I read your book, but that’s for you, man. Okay, let me show something. How the fuck you turn this shit off? Yo, I got news for you. You see that? That was your breakfast. You know what that is now? Trash. Bro, I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want a little too much shit on your plate, but you’re doing this shit on a plant-based diet. Only plants? Only plants. What about chicken, fish? No, no. I mean, you need protein to… Yeah, I’m gonna show you something, dude.
16:14 That’s the protein motherfucking mess, and I’ve been doing this shit for 37 motherfucking years. I’m not one of these New Jack snowflake fucking plant-based vegans; I don’t even use the word vegan. The protein myth and all the bullshit that’s been propagated over the years, that this is how you get nutrition, that’s bullshit. That’s not a healthy breakfast. That’s fucking garbage. Where’s the greens? Where’s the chlorophyll? Where’s the alkalinity? That’s all acid. That’s going to cause you problems. So I’m putting a time constraint on you, but I’m telling you how to do it the right and the easy way. What’s next, I’ve gotta do this with one leg? Motherfucker, you got jokes. So there’s science behind it, man. So I’m gonna go show you the science and how good science can taste, motherfucker. All right, show me, man. You ready? Let’s do it. I’ll believe it when I see it. Oh, come on, man, that’s what we’re doing. All right.
17:18 This is it, huh? This is the spot, right across the street. What’s up, fellas? Come here, get in on this protein. You got protein, plant-based. You’re killing me, John. I’m gonna tell you, listen, you know why… You survive on plants. You know why I got into this in 1980? Because I watched Bad Brains, Rastafarian dudes, went on stage and fucking blew me the fuck away. I was like, yo, how the fuck you got that much energy? He’s like, dude, I eat Ital, man, I eat pure food that give me the energy. He don’t eat meat and he don’t eat none of this shit. So this is where the power and the energy comes from, all of this, the juices, look at this. Swish it around. Look at that cucumber, take a bite. I’m gonna take you up to the pool after we eat and show you what it’s like to be in the washing machine, which is what they call the Ironman swim. Create chaos in the motherfucking water.
18:53 Under pressure reveals true character. What are you gonna do? I’ve had motherfuckers rip my wetsuit, grab my feet, pull me down, punch me in the face, break my nose with a kick, chip my teeth. It’s really like the mosh pit in the water. That’s what you do: you turn onto your back, you fix your goggles, because there may not be a safety crew with a paddleboard or a boat to hold onto. You wrestle in high school or what? Yeah. A strong body builds a strong mind. That’s why I’m pushing you to do this race, because it teaches you that you could do anything you set your mind to and smash the limitations that we place upon ourselves. That’s it, one more.
20:03 Why do you do push-ups and pull-ups if you’re training for an event where you run and you cycle and you swim? For strength, for strength. I’m not just the Ironman. If I gotta push somebody… In fact, last night it happened. Guy comes on a city bike, almost smashes the bike into me. I jump out the way and push him so he don’t hit me, and he’s like, “Yo, asshole,” and I say, “What, motherfucker?” This is still New York.
20:25 What does the billboard say? Come and play, come and play. Forget about the movement, that’s the government’s job: keep you numb and dumb to what’s really going on. Their tools of the trade: sex, drugs, lame rock and roll, alcohol, hip hop, sporting events, cars, TV, newspapers, bling and the other bullshit they stuff down our throats on a daily basis. The real revolution is all about throwing up the middle finger to this fucked-up way of life and getting back to our original, blissful spiritual nature.
21:07 What became clear to me early on was that punk failed in its mission of revolution for one reason: it offered no solutions. I been on stage playing for 20,000 screaming fans and all that bullshit that happens, fame, adoration, distinction, money, whatever the fuck, and honestly, the most peaceful time of my life, where I just felt the most satisfied, is when I was living as a monk.
21:50 All right, welcome to the spiritual world, bro. Wow. Look at this. So this is Brother Ryan I was telling you about, one of my great mentors on this… Good to see you. …journey. Brian. Pleasure. John to me is like a modern-day warrior. He’s on the fricking battlefield, you know what I’m saying, and his weapon is music and lyrics. He realises, what our journey has been together, is that there’s an underlying divine spiritual principle in life that most people aren’t in touch with. We want to have permanent happiness, but we’re trying to do it in this temporary vehicle, so that’s a dichotomy. There’s frustration, it’s an oxymoron. Wealth, fame, chasing women, chasing men, these things will never really satisfy the heart. And when it’s not satisfied, then we think this drug, this intoxication, this person. We’re looking for stuff outside of ourselves.
22:55 We’re right here, probably in the highest concentration in the pursuit of material things in the world. This is the king of maya. This city is the king of maya. What is maya? Maya means illusion, that which is not. Unless one clears the mirror of the mind, the material world will always frustrate you, it’s… This place is two blocks away from where I used to live, Avenue A and Houston Street, and I’m running around, going after more, going after more, going after more. Sure. It’s not about bank accounts. It’s not about how good we look, the material body, because without this, this falls apart. You gotta have this and you gotta have this. We don’t ever confront ourselves and turn our consciousness and energy inward to really search and cleanse. That’s what this process is about, and that’s why I brought you here today.
23:38 It wasn’t like to convert you to this or anything. Your path may be different than this, but it’s all the same knowledge that’s being put out there, and to the degree you surrender to it, to that degree you beat down your demons. So how do I do it every single day? Because I’d be out there choking people on the streets if I didn’t chant, trust, I have… Direct experience of that. Trust me. So when you mix the training, the philosophy, the meditation, the yoga, it’s all meant to improve our consciousness, and that’s where A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada came from India, and he came to this neighbourhood, to that tree, and just sat out there and started chanting. Came to the… With seven dollars in his… Lower East Side. Seven dollars and a case of books, nothing else. This is great. This is great. We bow down out of respect.
25:32 After two years of crack, cocaine and pills and alcohol, when I went into the temple, I said, if you don’t let me stay here, I’m gonna be dead. And they let me move in, and I saw the pictures, I just uncontrollably started sobbing. It was like a magnet. I was like, wow, these are windows to the spiritual world. I took what Prabhupada was teaching and I put it in the street vernacular, and everybody took to it. The Cro-Mags’ first album, The Age of Quarrel, that album would not exist… All of those lyrics from the Vedas? Dude, the whole album.
26:15 You know what we really need in this world is more artists that are putting out uplifting messages to the world, that’s what’s needed. You’re doing it through this television, this London Real show, you’re reaching a lot of people. And you have that calling, man. I don’t even know how I got here, as far as that whole journey. I just was… it’s almost like I didn’t know each step was getting me closer to putting these messages out. And now that I think about it, even this black hole I fell into two blocks away from here, I think is part of the journey. I had to go that low to realise that that wasn’t important to me. I had to almost die here.
26:57 From then to start London Real, when it wasn’t a business, it was nothing. Everyone was like, what’s wrong with you? All my banker buddies laughing at me in London, like, what the fuck are you doing? Then it’s just slowly, slowly finding, trying to get these messages out to people, which ultimately is what this is all about. All this comes back to the fundamental question. What is the meaning of human life? What is the meaning of human life?
27:38 Just ask somebody that: what is life about? And see what they say. What is the human life about, what is the purpose of life? If they don’t have an answer, which most people don’t, or it’s a really dumb one, then that tells you something right there about where we’re heading as a society. That’s why everybody’s so unhappy. Nobody sits. Sit down and talk philosophy, talk about something with some substance to it, not just all this idle chatter that’s out there and all this stuff that’s meant to dumb people down.
28:47 This is the thing that can fuck athletes up. You could break a spoke, your wheel could go out of true. You have to learn how to fix a flat, it’s up to you, you gotta carry cartridges. What’s up? What’s going on? This is the one and only. Hi, I’m Brian. Samantha Murphy. Hi, nice to meet you. Samantha Murphy. I’ve done 10 Ironmans and two Olympics and marathons without a coach. Since I’ve been working with you for what, two months? Two months, yep. My fucking times are going down, and I have the watch and she’s logged into my account. What’s the watch? I have it for you today. This watch is going to track GPS, it’s also going to track your heart rate. We’re gonna run some tests for your heart rate so we can get an authentic reading of who you are as an athlete. So John has a totally different heart rate, and what we want to do… It’s the crack. I’ll leave you to it. Make me proud. Got it, we got it. I know, all right. All right, we’ll see you, John, thank you.
29:29 Before we get started, I just kind of want to get to know you a little bit. So tell me about you, tell me about your background as an athlete. So as an athlete, well, I’m not an athlete, I wouldn’t say. I do try to move every day, but I do a lot of short-burst cardio stuff. I lift weights. I don’t do any kind of endurance swim or a long-distance run, and I haven’t been on a bike in 20 years. One of the things, just based on that small amount of information that you gave me, that’s very different is that this is a long day. This isn’t just going to work out for 40 minutes. I don’t give a shit if you can run a half marathon. I want you to run a half marathon off of a bike, and that’s a very different animal. I got 90 days to prepare for this… Yeah, it’s not normally what I would want. I’d actually want a year. A year? Yeah, a year. All right, ready? Yeah, I’m gonna change. Let’s do it. Okay, cool.
30:41 Some funny shoes you got me wearing, Samantha. So this is like the quintessential “I am not a triathlete” outfit you have on. Oh, okay. I just want to kind of run you through the gear, so this is so new to you. Okay, what do I do with these? Start to spin it up. What we’re really gonna focus on today is your heart rate. You’re gonna just focus on getting this number as high as you can, but we’ll never go above 200. 200, okay. If we get to 200, I know CPR. We’re gonna go: five, four, three, two, one. Hit it. Little bit of bend in the elbow and just relax. This is my relax, I think.
31:02 Okay, you’re focusing on the fact that you’re about to go to battle right now. How are you gonna confront the pain? How do you feel? It’s a good burn in the quadriceps, solid burn. Okay. This is where you start to really feel it, the fight is going to start. So the pressure becomes, how bad do you want this, right? So think about that. Think about something that’s going to drive you when it really hurts to work harder, not give in, whether that’s someone you want to compete against, whether that’s some kind of demon you want to fight. Channel that really intense determination that you have, Brian.
32:09 Be really present in the pain. Negative thoughts are gonna come, push them out and just stay focused right on the moment. The mind always shuts down the body. The body always has more to give. Smooth up that pedal stroke. Okay, two minutes, two minutes, it has to happen right now, okay. Here we go. All I need you to do for the next 50 seconds is to hold right where you are, and we’re gonna push that last bit out. We know you’re feeling it, but you got it. That’s great.
32:32 Yeah, yeah, so this next minute, Brian, I want you to focus any kind of negative energy, anyone who’s ever said you couldn’t do this or doubted you in this project or process. Let’s do this, use that energy, channel it. Good. 45 seconds, this is it. You have absolutely no chance left to make it go harder, so either you do it now or you’ve wasted your time. I want you to think about your children, right? You’re doing this as a role model to show them what you’re capable of. You will absolutely not back down, because you would not want them to back down. Ten seconds, come on. Don’t give in. Four, I know you want to give in, don’t do it, you got it. You got it, you got it, two, one, and done. Relax.
33:36 Let’s get him some water. I got to see some old demons. How was that? It’s fun to see them. It’s great, here. Okay, so talk to me a little bit. I was getting lots of flashbacks. I feel like I was almost going to cry there. That’s good. Minute five, I’m just trying to think of the people I don’t want to let down. It’s funny, when you ask me who wants me to fail and who’s always told me I can fail, that doesn’t motivate me. That doesn’t motivate you, okay. When I think about me failing and all of the people I let down, and when I let myself down, that’s what really, for good or bad, makes me motivated.
34:40 Okay, so that’s good, that’s a good lesson for me as a coach, right? Yeah, and I’m in New York where I failed a lot, so that’s what was going through my mind. Already, right, like a huge wave of emotion, right? As soon as you start to push into that next threshold. And now you can totally see this is why John does this. Because he likes to cry? But if you never push yourself in life like this, then you kind of miss out on so much stuff. I’m not exactly sure why John is doing all this. I don’t really know, but I’m glad he’s doing it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, John is like… he’s a teacher. He actually likes to teach people. Okay, five minutes and then we’re going to go again.
35:45 In the Vedas from India it says there are many planes of existence, different levels of consciousness, if you will, and according to what we do in this life, we associate with beings on those planes. The yoga and meditation bring positive gains and auras of light and positivity around you. Drugs and alcohol bring beings of negativity, destruction and darkness to your life. We can choose to live a positive and creative life, or we can make our lives a living hell. It’s up to us which world we want to live in.
36:50 What’s up, brother man? Yo, what’s going on, man? I just got off the phone with Samantha, you know, and she kind of told me you had, you know, a cleansing kind of moment at the bike shop. Honestly, man, being in New York is hard. And you take me through Tompkins Square Park and I walk around the East Village, and for me I see failure, my failure, and it just came up in a big way. I don’t want to push you in that regard, but as your buddy, and inviting you, and I think we got tight, we’re developing a dope friendship, and telling people what the fuck is in here, dude, that’s risk, that’s fear. That’s what we’re here to do in New York, is to face all of that.
37:32 You know how hard it was for me to admit that I was sexually abused as a kid for fucking years? When I wrote my book, I would get to that point where I was talking about the foster home, and out of fear and embarrassment I would skip over that. And then I went to Robert McKee’s Story seminar and said, “Mr McKee, as far as our protagonist having things and secrets done to him, of shit that happened as a kid…” And he goes, “Stop right there.” He goes, “Child abuse is the number one cliché in film to get people to have empathy for a character we could otherwise give two shits about. It’s not what happens to somebody. It’s what they do as a result of it.” You need to do what I did to really make this whole trip worth it.
38:43 I don’t know how to tell this story, but it’s probably two stories. It’s this kid that grew up in California, nice family, suburbia, nothing like what you went through, what you grew up with. Went to MIT with these crazy, smart-ass guys, competed with the best, got straight As there, and it was just, it was on. And then boom, recruited to Wall Street, because they wanted those engineers and those mathematicians to go down there. And I’m gonna be the millionaire, the 10 millionaire. I want to be an MD before I’m 30, and I’m hanging out with all the guys, and all these expectations on me, from me. So you got that overachiever mentality? Yeah, yeah, big time.
39:24 The other side of the story is Brian starts drinking, starts to like drinking, starts drinking every night. And I don’t know if it was to get away from my own brain, because my own brain was always like, that’s not good enough, that’s not good enough. All As? Fuck that. Next, you gotta do better. So I get here to this crazy-ass city and I see my buddies passing me by, and I see myself not getting to where I want to be, and it’s all relative, but I’ve failed in this city. And I think as I started to see that, I started just to go more and more into the addiction, and then it got worse, and then the drugs come out.
40:07 And at the same time, now that I look back, I guess I was doing the wrong things anyways. It was all about me and my bank account. For the wrong reasons. For the wrong reasons, but I couldn’t see that then. And then one night my buddy pulls out heroin and says, yo, check this shit out, you heard about this, right? I’m like, yeah, I guess so, what’s up? Let’s do this. I never really felt like I gave a fuck about me or my life, and so yeah, that was a turning point. Honestly, John, I just needed to take a break from me.
41:12 And then one night in the East Village I shipped in some heroin and did a bunch of fucking lines, and then I stopped breathing. Wow. Yeah, and I woke up in the hospital the next day. My mom and dad could have gotten a phone call like, your son’s dead. They’d be like, what the fuck? My son’s a fucking successful Wall Street banker and he’s an MIT graduate, what the fuck you talking about? A heroin overdose, you know? Yeah. And here I am, that’s me, and I didn’t change my behaviour one bit.
41:59 And so I kept at it. It just honestly got worse from there. I was so lonely, and I used to walk out to Tompkins Square Park. I had no job, no girl. I wouldn’t talk to anyone for like five days straight, I wouldn’t use my voice, and I would sit under that Hare Krishna tree and just be like, what the fuck am I going to do with my life? I just let down so many fucking people, John. I just burned my buddy and the girl. I think it’s just me. I just fucking let myself down. I almost killed myself. Like… I think I’m mad at myself somehow.
42:47 What was the turning point? I mean, that was the bottom. I had nothing left in this city. I had no human that wanted anything to do with me, and I just knew I had to get the fuck out. What made you pick London? I had been to London before, and I just knew, I knew that city, and I was like, maybe somebody there will give me a job. So you just went there with…? Nothing. I emailed… Nothing set up, nothing, you just got the fuck out? I emailed some people and said, could anyone give me a job? And I landed in London on January 2nd or 3rd, 2002, and that was where I started to rebuild my life, and I actually never touched that shit again.
43:29 I don’t know how. I was really fragile. If you were to see me, a breeze could have probably knocked me over. But I got a job and I just literally started rebuilding myself, and it took me years. You clawed yourself out of a deep ditch. I’ve never talked about this, and I mean, my girl doesn’t really know, my parents don’t know. You know, when that shit happens, I’m grateful to be alive, so every day, it’s an important day. Having gratitude that you’re fucking above dirt, you should fucking thank your lucky stars. Gratitude equals attitude.
44:11 When you develop a spiritual power, nothing in the material world could touch you. Look at the lotus. Where does it exist? It comes out of the stem and it exists above dirty water, and it’s never affected. Be very fucking diligent in your life, and that comes through sadhana. Sadhana is your practice every day, whether it’s yoga, meditation or whatever it is you do, the physical challenges that come with doing an Ironman. Or, you know, to me that’s a spiritual process too. That’s what left the old John Joseph McGowan in the past. Did I slip up? Fuck yeah, I did. Did I give up? Fuck no.
45:22 Yeah, woo. I pulled you up on this fucking bridge for a reason. This is like a painting of your fucking past: Wall Street, where you made all your money; here, where you ruined your fucking life almost. It’s time for you to man up, to once and for all tell your mind who the fuck is boss. I need a fucking answer. What’s it gonna be? Are you gonna make me race by myself or are we crossing the finish line together? Fuck it, man, let’s do this. All right. Yes, yes, that’s what I want to hear. That’s an investment in my time and your time to make this shit happen.
46:04 They say forgiveness can’t change the past, but it will determine your future. I made a lot of mistakes in this city, but if I can cross that finish line, I can finally forgive myself. It’s hard to imagine that 16 years ago, I took this same flight alone, nearly dead. The future truly is unwritten.
47:11 I want to push you to become an endurance machine. From what little I know of you so far, it’s intense, so we want to draw out that intensity. We want to battle some mental demons for a long time, and not just get tired out and slam it for a few minutes. Another huge piece of this whole thing is that shit’s going to come that we didn’t plan for on race day, and you’re gonna have to adapt, and you cannot get negative, because negativity never, ever, ever works out. You know, you can have a healthy dose of anger, but Ironman is literally that consistency and adaptability, and if you can nail those two things, you’ll have the race of your life.
47:55 Okay, rocking the first bike ride here. I’ve got the heart rate monitor going on right now and got the new watch, so I’m gonna track my time, track my heart rate, bust out 55 minutes and see where it goes, and send all my info to my trainer. That’s the plan, baby, let’s do this. There’s gonna be some times when you’re not gonna be comfortable and you’re gonna have to deal with that. Oh man, now off to the treadmill. I hit the treadmill after the bike and I was like, I got this, because I biked for an hour. I hit the treadmill and I was like, wow, legs feel like jelly.
49:06 Hey. Hello, how are you? Brian, I think I need a bike. This is the single most important piece of technology I need for this race, so I’m in your hands. It makes it very real to see this bike. It just kind of makes it hit home. You’re used to running, you’re a newer cyclist. You’re not used to suffering that, and we’re gonna teach you to suffer really hard on the bike.
49:48 Did you get your bike ride in? I got on the bike outside for the very first time. But it was just really around the neighbourhood here. I didn’t get any time in, and that was just because filming, so… Time has to happen. How long is it gonna take me to finish this thing? I don’t have quite enough data yet. I need to see some solid bike rides on an actual bike, but I’m hoping somewhere between a 6:30 race or less. The time is irrelevant if you’re not mentally there.
50:53 Ta-da! Baby, how do you feel about me doing this competition? I do worry a little bit. Why are you worried? I do worry about the swimming part. It sounds very intense, 3,000 people jumping into the water. Don’t die on me. Don’t die? Why don’t you want me to die on you? I’m not done with you yet. Baby, you’ll be the best-looking widow on the block. That’s not funny. It’s a little funny. That’s not funny. How come you smiled then? And is the only thing that worries you the drowning? I mean, I’m sorry, the swimming?
51:36 Baby, how’s it feel cooking for a vegan? Well, it’s a challenge. It’s something I haven’t done before, but I know how to cook, so I just find a way around it. It’s a completely new territory. Baby, thank you so much for going plant-based while I’m going plant-based, not that you have a choice. And Kayden, thank you for going plant-based. See, look, baby, he’s so plant-based, he wants to eat the outside of the orange. The morning breakfast with the vegan egg. No meat, baby, no more meats. What’s for dinner? Oh my gosh, this is so good. It’s so good, baby, it’s so good. If you’re lucky enough to have an amazing woman to prepare stuff like this and leave it for you when you come home late from London Real Studios, then you’re gold.
52:19 I working waitress, and it was just too realistic experience, how it’s like a whole industry we built around animals and the exploitation of animals, and there’s a way around it. Nobody has to die.
52:40 Ironman training is no joke. It’s all about putting maximum effort in every day. We should talk about what maximum effort means, because I think sometimes people think maximum effort means going all out, or balls to the wall, every single day. We’re talking day-in, day-out consistency. All right, it’s zero degrees out in London. If you’re pushing yourself as hard as you can every single day, especially if you’re a masters athlete, you’re gonna be wrecked, and you’re gonna miss the next day, and you’re gonna miss metrics on the bike, and you’re gonna be destroyed in the water.
53:22 Swimming for two kilometres straight, and I hear nightmares about, like, it’s like a mosh pit in there, and there’s hands flying. And also, people have drowned before, right? So not drowning, what’s happening is they’re having a heart attack. You know, just to kind of throw John into this, he’s good at the sport because he’s good at suffering for a long amount of time, and it’s kind of like taking punches and just going with them. Last question: how much do I have to pay you to beat John Joseph at this race? Truthfully, the answer to that is I don’t want you to worry about that. It’ll just screw your head. But do this: when you wake up and want to miss a workout, remind yourself he’s not missing a workout, okay. No excuses, baby.
54:30 This is London Real, I am Brian Rose. My guest today is Charles Poliquin, the world-renowned strength coach who has trained over 800 Olympic athletes across 23 different events. You’ve been teaching for over 40 years, and many consider you to be the most successful strength coach ever. Charles, welcome to London Real. Thank you very much for inviting, Brian. I’ve just been challenged to run an Ironman in 90 days on a 100% plant-based diet. Have you trained vegan athletes that you think can perform on that diet if they eat correctly, or not? Come on, Charles, give it to me straight. Okay. No, impossible. You don’t see a power athlete ever that’s been vegan. I never coached one of my Olympic athletes that was a vegan. I’ve seen people go vegan and get kicked out of the national team because of a lack of performance. You look at the British boxer who turned vegan, he tore his calf while giving a punch. David Haye. Well, that could be a one-off. No, what happens is that…
55:33 You can actually get enough grams of protein via plant sources, but… Yeah, but you should get quality protein, in my opinion. I mean, if you’re a stockbroker, maybe you could be a vegan. You’re a nerd… What about an endurance athlete like Rich Roll, who does ultramarathons and stuff, who’s on a complete plant-based diet? He’s an oddity, right? So there’s different genotypes that could do better on it, but a fairly large piece of humans are not made to be vegans. They’ll of course come back and say our intestines are twelve times as long as our body, and we don’t have claws and we don’t have fangs, so we’re not supposed to be meat eaters. We only have one stomach, okay, like all carnivores. Obviously, I’ve been hanging out with a lot of vegans. Yeah, yeah, but there’s two German studies that show that people who choose veganism have lower IQs, and yes, it’s true, and then the other thing is that people who go vegan lower their IQs.
56:38 Yo, what’s going on? What the fuck? Dude, I’m a little concerned about the diet. All right, that’s what I want to tell you right now. No, I have this guy, and here on London Real… What was that guy’s name who said impossible? So this guy, his name’s Charles Poliquin. He’s trained like 800 Olympians. He’s been around for a long time. He’s an old-school strength guy, and he’s like, Brian, you can’t do this without eating meat. Bullshit, bullshit, bull-fucking-shit. I’m doing it. You see what I’m doing? I’m 56 motherfucking years old. Impossible is a word in a fool’s dictionary. He needs to shut the fuck up, because there’s people doing it and they’re crushing it. Look at Rich Roll, look at Brendan Brazier, look at guys who hold world weightlifting records. The world’s top athletes are going plant-based and they’re kicking motherfucking ass.
57:44 Okay, folks, about three and a half hours in here. I’m supposed to do 70 kgs, but kms, I mean, but I’m going for motherfucking 90. Fuck it. It’s been raining, my feet have been frozen for at least an hour and a half, but I don’t give a fuck, I’m feeling good.
58:07 My guest today is Rich Roll, the American author, public speaker, plant-based nutrition advocate and vegan ultra-endurance athlete who Men’s Health named as one of the 25 fittest men in the world. It’s a lifestyle that checks all of those boxes. It’s better for the environment. It’s better for your health. It’s certainly better for the animals, and you can go out and kick ass in any athletic pursuit you desire. It seems like this is a new chapter where you’re getting comfortable sharing the heroin use. You’re married, and your wife didn’t even know. Of course not. That’s a horrible, shameful part of my past. I had tried to write some things in the past and try to think, am I ever going to explain this to someone? But I couldn’t think of a good reason, and then with this whole process, it really came out naturally. How did she take it? Well, I can’t even confess this to her. I need to make the episode of Ironmind to confess it to her.
59:10 Want to show you this, and then we can talk about it. We can talk about it a lot more. Show me. You want to see it? Yes, I want to see it. Okay, here we go.
1:00:10 What do you think? My God, baby. This made you who you are. You’re so strong, you’re so strong. I’m very proud of you. Hey, you did good, you did good. How is that good? Yes, it’s very good. How? It’s a pretty rough thing to tell everybody about. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not seeing what I’m seeing. What are you seeing? It had to happen to make you who you are. Yeah. Thanks, babe. Heroin, huh? Yeah, heroin. Yeah, okay. You’re not impressed? You want to slap me? Yeah. Come on, slap me. Okay.
1:01:12 Oh, man, feeling a lot of gratitude these days. Grateful that my 46-year-old carcass can keep this up. Grateful that I had people like John Joseph and Samantha in my life. Grateful that I had the whole team at London Real putting out these amazing messages. Grateful to be alive, grateful for my family, my beautiful sons, my beautiful daughter.
1:02:02 There’s more to this Ironman competition than endurance. There’s more to it than running and biking and swimming, and I think when we really push the physical, we get into the mental, which gets us into the spiritual, and most of us got a lot of shit bottled up in that cranium, folks. I can already see myself crossing that finish line. You know, it feels amazing. I’m thinking about all the people that got me there. I’m thinking about all the people from my past, 20 years ago, that I fucked over, all the things I did wrong in my life, all the things I did right in my life, all the love, everything.
1:02:59 I’m gonna finish this thing and make sure I finish no matter what. I think that’s true about life too, man. You’ve gotta finish it. You don’t let stupid shit get in the way, like heroin overdoses and dumb shit. You finish, you know, you get it done. Let’s finish life, you know.
1:03:22 Felt like absolute fucking dog shit, actually. I’m obviously pissed off. I gotta go film an episode, I gotta prepare for a guest, and honestly I just don’t want to deal with this bullshit right now. I can’t lie, yesterday was a shitty day and I sucked, to be honest.
1:04:05 The past four days I just feel overtrained, I just feel really run down. I can’t seem to eat my way out of it or sleep my way out of it. This weekend was just manic, and the schedule around here, around London Real, has been manic, and the home schedule has been manic, and my swim teacher looked at me and he said, what the hell is wrong with you, you look sick? I want to do this race. I think I can do this race. But at times like this, it doesn’t make me want to train.
1:04:26 What I need you to work on more than anything is how you deal with frustration, when it doesn’t go perfectly, because that’s gonna be reality on race day, and I can see that sometimes you get angry. And anger can be a really powerful motivator, but anger can also stop you dead in your tracks. What are my coping mechanisms for when things are frustrating? And you already have to know what those things are, because I can imagine that in life, if things get frustrating, you had to figure out how to deal with it without being angry. And if not, then you probably should do it now.
1:05:11 Okay, oh man, okay, just finished my T2 transition. God damn, that’s hard, man. It feels like my heart really hurts right now. Oh fuck, oh fuck me. It would be great to consult a doctor, maybe have a look at my blood to see what’s going on. I mean, I just jumped into this diet, I don’t really know what I’m doing, but who knows if I’m missing something? So that’s a concern. I’m a little curious what the results are, and by the look of your face, I’m a little worried. Well, I think there’s this misconception, often in this sporting or even wellbeing world, that actually endurance sports and Ironman is good for you, when actually we know it’s really not. So depending on what you want to achieve, whether you want to live well longer as opposed to performance at all costs, I think there has to be a balance somewhere, so something has to give.
1:06:18 What do you see when you look at my blood? This little thing is a biological adaptation to get you to conserve energy, okay? It’s trying to get you to slow down. Should I be worried here? B12 is the main thing you need to supplement on a plant-based diet. Even supplementation doesn’t work, so the way to bypass this, you can get your vitamin B12 shot. So right, alcohol wipes, insulin syringe, turn around. And then you go in slightly, little bit of a sting.
1:07:02 My guest today is Dr Gabor Maté, who specialises in neurology, psychology and psychiatry, as well as the study and treatment of addiction. You spent 12 years in downtown Vancouver in clinics treating patients challenged by hardcore drug use, and you’ve used the plant medicine ayahuasca for addiction treatment. Dr Maté, welcome to London Real. Pleasure to be here. You were really in the trenches in downtown Vancouver, and you saw what I think most people don’t see. I think we see the Hollywood version of what addiction looks like, or we see what we’d like to think it is, but you saw what it really is, and I was wondering if you could tell us what you saw and what you learned.
1:07:43 So addiction is manifested in any behaviour that a person craves, finds temporary pleasure or relief in, but then experiences negative consequences in the long term and doesn’t give up. I said any behaviour, I didn’t say drugs. Could be drugs. So I’m gonna ask you now, by that definition, Brian, have you had an addictive behaviour in your life? Yes, many. What did you like about it? What did it do for you? It gave me temporary relief. From? From the pain I was feeling, usually related to interacting with my fellow humans, or how I felt doing that. Okay, so you had the emotional pain that was triggered for you by interaction with other people. And maybe even being myself as well. You weren’t comfortable in your own skin? I think so, yeah.
1:08:24 Okay, fair enough. In other words, the addiction wasn’t your problem. Your problem is that you have a lot of emotional pain, you didn’t know what to do with it, so really what it was is that the addiction came along to help you solve a problem. You had no other solutions for it at the time, and that’s the case for all addictions. So why do people use, why do people engage in addictions? Because they have deep emotional problems they don’t have the means to resolve on their own.
1:08:47 I was a drinker and a drugger who used violence to numb the pain I had inside. I knew I had to get off this train headed for disaster, but I didn’t know how. Every day it slowly ate away at me, and every day I numbed it with more alcohol, drugs and fights.
1:09:07 So let me go a little deeper on what I was thinking about when it came to my addictions. I think I was getting away from me, who I think was driving me to be the ultimate best.
1:09:29 I know that this was a stupid behaviour. It was a temporary fix that I usually paid for dearly the next day, and repeatedly paid for, and the more I did it, the more I think my self-esteem dropped a little bit, because I couldn’t control this about myself. And it wasn’t until I did this show and I had my first ayahuasca ceremony, and I was crying so much that the tears were going down my eyes and dripping down off my ears, and I still remember the tears dripping off my ears, and I was going back, I was visualising the seven-year-old boy, and this was me when my parents divorced, and this was this little boy that was building up all these walls around him because he had been hurt so much.
1:10:11 And so for me it was like, no one’s getting in, the rest of my life. And maybe my attempting to excel in the world was to show the world that they needed me, so that’s maybe why I went to MIT and got the job in banking, these kinds of things. Well, it’s an archetypical story. So first of all, you’re hurt as a child, and then you have to compensate for it, because children interpret the world in those narcissistic ways, that whatever happens is because of me. So you failed to make your parents happy, and of course you’re uncomfortable with yourself. That’s a lot to deal with. Then you just developed this idea that I’ve gotta do it all by myself, on my own.
1:10:59 I think I had a self-destructive nature, just because of what happened to me in my childhood. I always felt inadequate, you know, that I didn’t matter. I’m that overachieving personality too, and why is that? Because there’s an inadequacy that’s there.
1:11:21 So first of all, you’re hurt as a child, and then you have to compensate for it. This is where the hunger comes in. You can never get enough, because by doing you’re never satisfied, when your hunger is about being, and not having been accepted just for being. I did a lot of fucked-up shit that I had to forgive myself for. I was a fucking liar, a cheater, a thief. Every bad quality that could exist in a person, I had. I always knew I was capable of taking someone’s life, and it scared me, because people told me that. They’re like, you’re gonna fucking kill somebody or get killed. You would not have liked me. I didn’t like myself. I have a lot of work I’ve done on myself out on that bike, or in that fucking pool, or out on runs.
1:12:25 I don’t know what it is about this fucking sport, but it attracts people that really need to do deep work on themselves. And every race is emotional. Every race, the last mile of the run, I have tears in my eyes, because all of my past is playing in my head like a movie, and I’m like, fuck you, you didn’t win, you motherfuckers. You tried to fucking destroy me, but you didn’t win. Look what I’m out here doing.
1:12:45 The future is unwritten. It’s what we do today that determines how the fuck that future’s going to end up. That’s why I’m out on the bike every day. There’s a lot of discovery of yourself found in the pain that you willingly undertake. I went from iron bars to Ironman. I went from jail and everything else, smoking crack on the Lower East Side. That’s the power of the PMA, positive mental attitude.
1:13:35 The way the world is, and even the way you are, it’s not your fault, it’s not a fault. Just accept yourself, and you don’t have to work so hard to be like them. You’re okay. Just relax, kid, and a lot of life do come to you. You don’t have to force it.
1:13:56 Listen up. If you all ain’t seen this documentary I’m doing called Ironmind, it’s about this brother that kicked heroin, almost died, and now, because of positive mental attitude, he’s racing with me. I need you all to do something real quick before we start this next song. Can you do that for me? My man’s name is Brian. On the count of three, we’re going to scream, “Get that shit, Brian!” Are you ready? Yeah! One, two, three. Get that shit, Brian! Get that shit, Brian! This one goes out to you, Brian.
1:14:59 Oh man, and that’s done, folks, 100 km. Chattanooga, I’m fucking ready for you.
1:15:44 You gonna be okay while I’m gone? Yes, I’m gonna be okay, we’re gonna keep in touch. Okay. Are you mad you’re not coming? Yes. Why? Because I wanted to be there. Baby, I know you want to be there, but I think this is something that racers, they gotta do themselves. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never been in, ever, like, a competition like this with all of these people. It’s gonna be really hectic. I just need to get in the zone. Do you understand why I gotta do it alone? Yes. I still want to be there, because it’s important, and I want to be there when you’re crossing the line, and if something goes wrong I’ll feel pretty much helpless here.
1:16:27 Well, I understand you want to be there, babe, but I gotta do this myself. I gotta go slay the dragon myself. I just want to be more in control of things, and now I’m not, but I understand that you have to do it, then. John and Samantha will be there and you’ll be in good hands, but I’m just, I’m anxious about it, that’s all. You really worried about me? Yeah. I’m gonna be happy when you come home with a smile. Okay, I will, promise. I’m gonna come home alive with a smile. Promise? Yes, I promise. And I’m finishing. Okay.
1:17:09 Papa’s going to go out, we need to say goodbye to Papa. Bye-bye, everyone… Bye-bye, Papa. Baby, is he upset that I’m leaving? Yeah, that’s how I feel. You’re okay? Okay, all right, all right, you have both of them, you can get both of them, you sure? Okay. Okay? Yeah. All right, bye. Bye.
1:19:01 Brian Rose, you made it. How are you, man? How are you, bro? What’s love? Good to see you, man. You good? Wow, talk about it on the Brooklyn Bridge, and here you are. It’s happening, right?
1:19:52 It’s hot. I know, it’s unbelievably hot. Oh my gosh. And it’s only gonna be worse, yeah. This is not New York, we’re a long way. I know. Hello, hello. Good to see you, good to see you. I know, good to see you. How are you? I’m great, I’m great. Yeah? Yeah. So the biggest part about racing in the heat is you start cooling yourself while you’re on the bike, so you can try and keep your temperature down as low as possible, so that by the time you hit the run you’re a little bit ahead of the game. And really what you have to think about with the heat is, I’m one with the heat. Everyone is going to be in the heat. The elements are the same for everyone. The people who are going to do better are the people who don’t mentally crack in the heat.
1:20:54 So what is the plan today? So the plan today is that we’re gonna do what’s called course recon. We’re gonna drive the bike course so you get a feel for what the roads look like.
1:21:16 I think it’s really important to remind yourself to stay present in the practice, that I’m doing this. John, what do you think about when you’re out here? The gratitude, man. Where I came from, fucking streets and drugs and incarceration and more drugs and violence. And then I start settling into my happy place, man, I chant. When I get in a tough place, I think about things like how hard and how relentless my daughter had to be to learn how to walk, that image of falling down and getting back up. If you hear banjo music and they’re going… do not go in the woods in that area.
1:22:31 And in the morning, take a little time to yourself, 15, 20 minutes. Do some meditation, calm your breathing, give thanks for the journey. That’s what I do every race morning. I chant my prayers for protection, and I would just play that… You’re going in the elements, man. You’ve got the water. You’ve got the road, you got the wind. He protects souls on the path.
1:23:35 So strong, it’s part of who you are. It’s your story. It’s time for you to man up, to once and for all tell your mind who the fuck is boss. If you never push yourself in life like this, then you kind of miss out. You have a worldwide audience right now that’s inspired by you, so that’s why you must finish. You’ll be coming through that finisher chute, you want to pat all these things that you’re proud about. It seems so intense and now it’s gone. You’ll never get that back. You’ll never be able to hold on to that exact moment again.
1:25:57 Brian and John really crushed it. You can see that Brian swam 30:50, that’s a super solid swim. It’s very, very hot, and that will be the battle that they’re going to face today. He’s halfway through the race on the bike. They’re riding almost the exact same pace.
1:26:52 I’ve just gotten something from the course. Unfortunately, we just heard that John has broken his chain. Reality is, once you clock over the halfway, you have this kind of big feeling of, okay, I’m over halfway done, but then those miles from 30 to 40 to 50 can be a little bit tough. John must have gotten his bike fixed. He’s past 45 miles on the bike, so he’s in it to win it. Nice track.
1:27:34 This is really where the suffer starts, to be honest, because it’s hot, and you’re close but you’re never close enough. Come on, let’s go. You’re doing really well, Brian. Okay, just keep doing what you’re doing. Make sure you’re taking in enough ice and water. You’ve got this, you’re doing awesome. All right, okay, I’ll see you soon. You look great.
1:29:04 Brian Rose. Brian! Brian Rose, you’re at the finish line, brother, come here.
1:29:53 Oh, oh. I was thinking about you on that race, man. You used to tell me you have just faced a bunch of demons. This journey for you is a multi-year journey. This represents a pinnacle about letting people down, and now you have inspired with this journey, and being vulnerable, lifting up tens of thousands of people, including me. How do you feel? I feel great, man. I was always going to finish this thing. It’s hot, that run was crazy, but there’s so many people here behind me, all around the world. It’s been a real tough journey for me, emotional, but it’s just been absolutely incredible.
1:30:34 Just walk me through the race. What was it like for you? Were you nervous? I mean, you’ve never done this before. You know, I never done it before. I just try to remain calm, you know. I was kind of calm all week, which is weird. I put in a lot of training. The swim, once I got on there, it felt good. The bike, I did my best time ever, under three hours, and then my legs started cramping up, my hamstrings, and I had a slow run, although I think I beat John Joseph. And so the run was just brutal. My stomach was really hurting, but I didn’t stop. I just didn’t stop. I saw people walking and I was like, I’m not walking. I made myself that promise. I got a three-page email last night from Dan Peña saying leave it all on the course, and so that’s what I did on that bike. I was like, you know what, fuck this, I’m leaving it all on there. So yeah, it’s been a great journey, it’s been awesome. Whoa!
1:31:15 You should be so proud of yourself. Breaking six hours in this heat is incredible. Hey there. What’s up, buddy? God, man, how you doing? Hi there. Fuck. Good race. That was no joke, man. You did it, you did it. Now we’re signing up for a full. John. Thank you, no problem. We love Samantha Murphy, Samantha Murphy.
1:32:04 The instant you reach your goal, that beautiful emptiness, that Zen moment of no desires. A fleeting few seconds of peace after months of suffering. And I just want to say one thing. Congratulations to Mr Brian Rose. First time, he killed it, beat my ass. But yeah, he put the work in, 100% plant-based his whole training, came under Samantha Murphy, but there it is.
1:32:49 I’ve spent all of my life chasing success. And look at me now, competing in one of the toughest endurance races in the world. I’m stuck in this never-ending cycle of proving I am the best. Is this part of my healing? Or will it make things worse? You’re on such a high racing. Your endorphins are going through the fucking roof. You’re putting in months and months of training to bring to that plateau, and then it’s like you’re just emptying the tanks, but it’s like a thing, you’re like looking for, okay, how do I get back to that?
1:33:32 I mean, I’m just trying to get my head around this challenge thing, because guys like us are always like, what’s the next challenge, what’s the next challenge? And part of that got me here, so I respect it, but then part of me also wonders, can I be happy without those challenges? No, I can’t. Because if we as humans are not tested, then we don’t advance. Those tests are put there to force us to push through shit. Like, people that try to avoid challenges and being tested, they’re not getting anywhere in life. By willingly placing yourself into difficult situations, you advance.
1:34:14 You’re already locked on to that next race in six months, and then you mentioned it to me right after the race, and Samantha did too. And look, I think I’m a goal-oriented guy, I think it’s a beautiful thing, but then part of me also wonders, am I still searching for the next challenge, and does there need to be some peace somewhere in between, where you’re just happy being you? Is this not some kind of addiction in itself? Sure, but to do what you love… There’s destructive addictions. If you don’t replace the negative things in your life with positive actions, meditation and all this other stuff that goes hand in hand, you’re just gonna keep falling victim.
1:34:55 Why does my brother constantly keep relapsing into drugs? He called me right before this race. “I’m dying, fuck you, you don’t even call me anymore. I’m fucking dying.” And he is dying. He’s dying because of the choices he made. Hit the bottle, do the pills, do the drugs, eat the bad food, that’s the thing about choice.
1:35:16 You know, I was talking to that guy Dr Gabor Maté, and he’s always saying that a lot of this stuff goes back to childhood trauma. And look, compared to your life, I didn’t have any trauma, but when you’re seven years old, everything feels like trauma, and I’ve just been thinking about my own childhood traumas. And I know you said that part of the reason you probably went into performing and stuff was because of feeling inadequate, but do you ever think about that, and forgiveness, and how that affects your life going forward?
1:36:00 Yeah. The two dudes that did that shit to me in that home, I’ve never encountered them before. I even went back to the foster home and knocked on the door, and I’m glad they weren’t there, because I think when I do see them, it’s like, I’m gonna be like, you put your hands on me and did this shit when I was a kid and couldn’t defend myself, but now what? And I think that’s gonna be there. I can try to speculate however I’m gonna act toward that, but I already know what’s gonna happen. What’s gonna happen? I’m gonna fucking snatch them up. I’m not… Well, we’ll probably not say about that. Probably say that a child abuser should get his ass kicked. I don’t have that inner strength to be like, oh yeah, okay, you did that to me, I forgive you. Nah. No. So you’re human? I’m human. I’m just as human as anybody else.
1:37:07 The real growth was that I gave up that hate, because I just moved on to another place of indifference. You could say it’s worse, but I say it’s what I had to do, just block them out. And that’s not to say if I don’t see whoever, I’m not gonna… that’s just street New York. I’m like a fucking Irish motherfucker from the Lower East Side, I’m not gonna not say nothing.
1:37:30 Do you feel better as a human? Do you feel better with yourself after doing what you just did? Let me ask you that. How do you feel today? I feel amazing. Like a fucking champion. I think there’s a lot of things, me going through those demons and talking about that stuff publicly, and forgiving myself, and people, and… If this path works for me, as fucked up as I have been in this lifetime, it could work for anybody. I’m a prime example, and that’s what being philosophical and having your devotions every day and working on yourself every day… Prabhupada said, “Mountains in the path will become pebbles that you can just kick away.”
1:38:34 Evolution is a never-ending pursuit. It is a series of little events that add up to a greater change. Every struggle, every hardship, every drop of blood, every tear was a lesson. And that’s why, if I have one message to give, let it be the code by which the true warrior lives: never give up.
