Ed Mylett - You Were Not Born to be Average: How To Achieve Success & Happiness

Full transcript: Ed Mylett on London Real

2:43 This is London Real. I am Brian Rose. My guest today is Ed Mylett, the American entrepreneur, business coach, author and motivational speaker. You have achieved incredible success in your life, having started out in the financial services industry before moving into real estate, technology, health and nutrition. You’ve been named in the Forbes Top 50 Wealthiest Under 50, and have a dedicated audience of over three million followers across social media.

3:06 You are also the host of the number one business podcast, The Ed Mylett Show, where you’ve innovate thought innovate interviewed thought leaders and peak performers from David Goggins to Joe Dispenza to Tony Robbins and Jay Shetty. You are the best-selling author of Max Out Your Life, and your latest book, The Power of One More, showcases the strategies that will help readers achieve levels of success that they never thought possible, by helping remove the mental roadblocks that have stopped them from realizing their dreams. Ed, brother, welcome back to London Real.

3:36 Brian, it’s so good to be with you, and I was just telling you before we started how much you’re inspiring me. You’re one of the very few people that I watch really closely on social media, and so I’m really honored to do this with you again. Ed, I very much appreciate it. You reached out a few weeks back, and I just thought man, there’s another chance for us to connect. I feel like that first time we had you on the show it felt like we reconnected.

3:57 I don’t know, like we shared some type of energy, or the way we look at life or going through struggles and adding value. So I always feel like I’m having a convo with an old friend. Does that sound strange, right? And not strange at all. The day we had that conversation, I walked out where I was at my desert house.

4:14 I walked out, my son was in the living room. I said, I just had an interview with a dude I’ve been watching for years. I feel like I’ve known him for years, and my son said, that’s not possible. I said, yeah, it’s probably not possible, but it feels like it. So that’s bizarre that you just said that, because exactly what I said to my son two minutes after we finished.

4:30 It’s like the world is full of energy. Sometimes it’s trying to give you information. Sometimes guys like us, who in the past maybe were focused on, you know, process and results and stuff, I didn’t always acknowledge some of that information, but now, as I get older and wiser, I’m starting to think, you know what, this is the world telling me something. It’s saying, do more with these people, share more of this energy. And so yeah, now I’m now going with it more.

4:56 It’s true, brother. I feel it too. It’s funny, it was a with you, and I, the surprising part was because it wasn’t in person. So normally when I feel something, the sense that strong, I usually am in the presence of somebody, but I felt it with you, and I even through this forum, right here. And one thing about energy, you’re always making people feel something, and so the more intentional you become, to some extent about what you are making people, just be aware you’re making people feel something, the more you’re going to have a better ability to connect with people just in general.

5:22 It’s amazing to me how many people are oblivious to the fact that at any given moment, you’re always making people feel something. It’s so true. It’s something I used to tell to a lot of the young men and women here when they were coming in, and I said, you say you’re a leader, and they say, well, I’m not the head of the department. I said, but every day someone’s watching you, and they’re getting inspiration from you or not. It could be your family, your friends, colleagues, and so everyone’s always vibing off of you, and if you can come in and have that focus, that plan, that good energy, that positivity, that one more attitude, then you’ll be amazed where it takes you.

5:59 And it was always interesting the way they looked at me, because some of them started to understand. But like you said, I don’t know if everybody’s aware of that, but it’s something maybe everyone should think about now is that you’re, like you said, people are always getting some energy from you, right? Yeah, they are. I bet more people get it from you than you think, brother, because your example’s so good. We were talking about our daughters before we started, and you know, one thing in parenting I’ve realized, and then leadership in general, so parenting is the ultimate leadership position, right?

6:27 But like most things in life, most lessons, at least for me, have been caught, not taught. People catch it. They catch it when they’re around you. We’re always trying as leaders to teach a lesson, you know, teach our children things. Yeah, that works a little bit, but they catch things every single day, even when we’re not looking, and so if you’re not, you don’t think you’re in a leadership position, you’re teaching people things all the time about who you are, what you stand for, what kind of an influence you can have, the impacts you make, because they’re, it’s caught, not taught, in every environment.

6:55 You don’t need a title or a tag or a position in order to do that. I love that. Caught, not taught. Let’s talk about parenting really quick, because you just made me remember something from my last conversation. I know that you’re, you’re so proud of your children, and that you’re always giving them all this positive feedback, and I don’t know if we had this conversation on camera last time, or off, but what I do is to my sons now, every night after I read them a story before we go to bed, is I tell them how much I love them, and how proud I am of them, and I think I asked you this last time, and you said yep, Brian, I do that every single day.

7:27 I’m constantly telling my daughter I’m proud of it, constantly telling my son it and tell me about that parenting and that leadership role, and maybe what your view is on it. Yeah, by the way and I don’t, I won’t keep going to my book, because I think that’s cheesy when people do it, but when I wrote the book, I’m like, I don’t want to just write this for entrepreneurs, but I did, or athletes, but I did or leaders in business. I also want to write it for parents, so it’s a very diverse book.

7:53 Like, the lessons in the book transcend these things, but I just really believe that when we’re young, you know, we end up building these belief systems when we’re really young, when we’re defenseless, that our parents installing us, their limiting beliefs or their expansive beliefs and it’s people that love us, but oftentimes they kind of inject their software, their way of thinking, inside of us, because I believe that to be true, because I learned some stuff from my dad and mom that was good, and I learned some stuff that didn’t serve me, and so I was constantly feeding them to the point where they’d roll their eyes, Bella, Boo, you’re a superstar, you’re the greatest of all time, you’re gonna do something. She left for school this morning. She’s a senior in high school.

8:25 I’m like, Bella, do something great, be a leader, let’s do it, you’re awesome, let’s make something great happen. Max out, I yelled it to her. I don’t even make eye contact. He’s like, okay, Dad. but she’s catching it.

8:36 It’s not all todd, it’s caught. And I tell Max goes to bed at night, he’s, he’s back from college right now. He’s six foot three, man. He’s much bigger, dude, than me now. I’m like, hey man, you’re a leader, you’re a gladiator, you’re the greatest of all time, brother.

8:49 He’s like, I know, Dad, but now that they get a little bit older and I watch them in the world. I think they do know. Yeah, I think they do feel differently about themselves. I was careful not to install limiting beliefs in them, and even though maybe it got repetitive, that’s the one thing that parents get sick of doing, or even leaders in business, repetition. They think, I always got to say new, you know, I gotta always say new things to these old people.

9:12 Nah, leadership is saying old things to new people, or old things to the people that have been around you for a long time. So I’ve repeated that stuff. My son has heard you’re a leader, a gladiator, and the greatest of all time probably 17,000 times at least in his life, and there’s got to be a moment when he’s under pressure, he’s got to hit a golf shot. He’s in college, he’s a golfer. There’s got to be a moment at least once in a while where he feels that, and the absence of it would cause him to make an error, a mistake, or a misjudgment, or maybe he’d do a drug that he shouldn’t do, or a decision he shouldn’t make.

9:40 If it alters one decision in his life, it was worth saying 17,000 times, because the premise of my book and my life is that even in your dreams, you’re way closer to the life you think you want than you think you are. Most people the Bible goes, there’s no vision, the people will perish. People have really misconstrued that. I think we have vision. I mean, if I said, you want to be happy or sad?

10:02 You say happy. Rich or poor? Probably rich. Make a difference or make no difference in your life. Have beautiful memories or not so great memories?

10:08 We know the answer. So we have vision. Our problem is depth perception. We think it’s so far away, so because we think it’s so far away, we act in accordance with that belief system, and we perpetually keep it there, and we never get there, but what if the truth is it isn’t that far away, and the whole time there’s been this veil, this very thin veil, between what you want and having it or not, and that can be as small as one decision, one relationship, one meaning, one interview, one book, one thought, one new emotion, can completely change your life.

10:40 You’ve had those moments in your life. I’ve had them, and they’ve brought that stuff much closer to us. So that’s why it’s worth doing that as a parent at a minimum, and I love this concept of one more, and like you said, we have been kind of told this thing that everything is way out in the future, and most of us are very hard on ourselves so in the short term, and we’re not, we don’t see what we can accomplish in the long term, and so a lot of people stop from doing that.

11:05 And so I want to get into this one more concept with you because what you just said is, like, kind of blowing my mind and empowering me to, like, even think bigger as well. And I just want to finish with the parenting thing. Like, because of you I kind of grab my kids, and I’m always whispering in their ears, like, I’m so proud of you, and I compliment them in front of their mom, like, did you see how good Caden is at drawing? Did you see the push-ups that Damon did today, and I’m always like repeating, and like you said, that’s what leadership is.

11:33 It’s just continuing to repeat those lessons, repeat those lessons because you have to ingrain it in everyone around you, because that’s going to help them make that one more time decision in the future. Can I tell you one thing on that? Yeah, that you, that you just did really brilliantly well. I’ve actually orchestrated it with my wife, but I’ve done it with my, I did with my dad before he passed away and my mom as well. The greatest compliments I ever got as a child that I still remember would be my grandfather.

11:59 He’d come to my little league games. He was probably making this up, by the way, but he would come to all my baseball games, and after the game, he’s a very quiet man, and he would go, I wish you could. I go, oh for four, right? Two ground outs. He go, I wish you could have heard the other parents talking about you, how fast you got down the line on first base on that ground out.

12:18 They’ve never seen a kid run that hard. That catch you made in center field, after you made that catch, I wish you could have heard what the other parents were saying about you. Those are the things I remember. It’s like the third-party compliment, because you’re like, wow, so I’ve told my wife, when I’m not around, you tell him, do you know how proud your father is of you? Do you know how proud Daddy, did you?

12:36 Do you ever hear how Daddy talks about you to other people? I would tell my mom, hey, when Max comes over for lunch, will you just do me a favor for a second? At some point just say, I don’t know if you know how proud your dad is of you. So I wanted them to hear it, not just for me directly, but, like, the third-party part of it, and in business this matters too, where you create a culture, people go, hey man, I was just in there with the boss, with the big guy, well he’s raving, he appreciates you, he’s raving about you.

13:00 Those mean even more than a direct compliment, is getting to hear the indirect one, right? All right, so empower that. I know I remember having a few baseball games like that as well, where I went oh for four and T-ball as well, so we won’t get started about that. Let’s talk about the book, because the whole premise is this one more. I do want to get at some point into where that came from, and the story of your father as well, because I want to get into that, because I think it’s important.

13:24 But talk to me about the book and the perspectives that you’re trying to give people. You already laid some of it out here as well. As sometimes we just need to remember that it’s that one more, and that we’re closer than we think to realizing our dreams, and that’s why we have to take that one more shot. Is that the premise of this book? There, there is that’s one.

13:44 There’s, there’s a little layers to it. The other one is it’s a standard. So in your life, you don’t always get your goals. In fact, statistically, I have a whole chapter on how to set goals in the book, but even if you did what I teach you in the book, you’re gonna get 24, 25 of them at best, if they’re real goals. but you will always get your standards.

14:02 Ultimately in life we get our standards, and so there’s all this, I don’t know if I was the first person to say it, I think I am, but people have repeated it now for 10 years in personal development, self-confidence, and they say the way you get self-confidence is you keep the promises you make to yourself. If you don’t have self-confidence, you’ve built a relationship or reputation with yourself where you don’t keep the promises. So one way to build baseline confidence is, you know, hey, make your bed in the morning.

14:25 If you’re gonna make 10 contacts a day, make it. You’re going to drink a gallon of water. Drink a gallon of water. Do what you say you’re going to do even if it’s small things, and you change the relationship and reputation you have with yourself and that’ll get you to be a confident person. But I don’t want to just be a confident person.

14:38 I want to be able to perform in my life as an average man, which is what I am. I’m average height. I’m average IQ, I’m averaging about everything you can imagine. Right? But what I’m not averaging is my standards anymore.

14:50 And so what if the standard wasn’t that you just kept the promises you made to yourself, but what if the standard was a little higher, and that standard of your life is, I keep the promises I make to myself, and one more. And so I’m not just going to make 10 contacts today. I’m going to make the 10 contacts, keep that promise I made to myself, plus one more. I’m not going to do 10 reps in the bench. I’m gonna do 10, plus one more.

15:13 I’m not doing 30 minutes on the treadmill. I’m doing 30 minutes, plus one more. I’m not telling Bella I love her every day. I’m going to do that, and I’m going to do it one more time every day. And now when you’ve raised that standard, a couple things happen mathematically.

15:25 You’ve increased your odds of winning, because you’ve done more, right? You’ve spread out the chances of winning and put it in your favor. But two, you’ve now set a standard that you know almost no human being on earth will do consistently, and if you do it, you begin to believe you deserve things most human beings don’t deserve in their life. And I transformed myself from a dude who had no confidence, that I started keeping those promises. I’m like, okay, what’s next?

15:49 I got to do one more. And so, and then the layer behind that is you are truly one of these away from changing your life. Quick story, just played golf with the dude three weeks ago. Bananas story. And this guy wanted to meet me.

16:01 Guy says, hey, you guys got similar net worth. The guy wants to meet. I get to the first tee, Brian, and he goes, hey, I’m a big fan. Next five hours, I’m learning everything about Ed. My Led?

16:09 I go, no, you’re not. That’s not how this works, bro. I already know about me. I want to know about you. And he goes, well, mine’s quick.

16:15 I can tell you on the first tee. I said, give it to me. He says, 1986 I loaned 50,000 to a guy, my best friend loaned the same guy 50 grand a week later. My best friend got cold feet, got his money back. I continued on with the loan.

16:27 I said, awesome. He said it turned into 750 million dollars. I said, say that again. You loaned a dude 50 G’s, it turned into 750 million dollars 20 years later. Yeah, I said, who the hell did you loan this money to?

16:42 Jeff Bezos. I said, get out of town. I said, you were really one relationship one decision, one loan away, totally changed your life. He goes, amen. Now that’s the most extreme example I’ve ever heard in my life.

16:55 I don’t have any of those, but I have a series of them in my life that stack up, about equivalent to his, because I believed in this premise. Now let me ask one thing about one more. What if you get to a point where you have no more mental bandwidth with one more? Is that a possibility, or is that just something that people fear? That I run out of time in my day to do all of these kinds of things, and then I kind of get to a mental frying point, where then I do zero more, and then one less, and then five less.

17:23 How do you defeat, at least talk about that, so the brain doesn’t defeat the process? Okay, maybe in a minute after this, we’ll talk about time, because I have a whole chapter on how to bend and manipulate time. Okay, I want to get there next, but I got to tell you, I have a chapter in the book where I talk about one more inconvenience, which is learning to do the inconvenient and difficult thing. But the underlying factor in that, to answer this part of the question, is this: I have a quote in there where I say, extremity expands capacity.

17:51 So when you do something to the extreme, not only are you doing more, you’re expanding your capacity to do more in the future. Extremity expands capacity. I had John Maxwell on my show. He’s been on a few times, and everybody probably knows who John is, but he’s a prolific leadership author, one of the best authors of all time, but really been a good friend and mentor to me, and he said, Ed, I’m growing more in my 70s than I’ve ever grown in my life. And that’s something guys of that age say all the time.

18:19 Right? You’re like, yeah, you got it. 70 is the new 50, right? And he goes, no, no, I really am. And he said, I’ve pushed myself to grow so much in the last 50 years of my life that my capacity to grow is expansive because of it.

18:34 And in that minute, I went, extremity expands capacity. I have a really bad, right shoulder. The reason I do is my shoulders used to be much bigger. I’ve expanded the capacity of my shoulder socket so that a big old shoulder could fit in there. Now that I’ve trimmed and leaned down, and I’m not lifting quite as heavy, this shoulder kind of floats around in there, because my capacity for that space is expanded by the extreme things I did to expand it.

18:58 So it, it’s a fallacy that will not happen to you as you expand your work ethic, as you expand the one more, your capacity to do one more expands in a very congruent way. Yeah, that’s so powerful, and I want to get into the time management, because you’ve got a whole chapter to it, and you’ve got five principles of time management, which is really important. You, you’re talking a little bit about identity, which again, you dedicate a chapter in the book to Ed, and again you’re already starting to put little bits of it in here as far as telling yourself, showing yourself you can do it.

19:28 Can you talk about that change in identity? And it must be the biggest thing you see when you meet with people that are struggling with success, is that they, they don’t believe they’re that person. They don’t see themselves at that, per, as that person. So I don’t, and I love thinking, Grow Rich. I love it.

19:44 It’s right here. I mean, it’s one of my favorite books of all time. My bible, Think and Grow Rich, and, but here’s the deal, man. And I love the book. It’s, it’s, it’s awesome.

19:53 It’s my favorite book right? But you don’t just think and get rich. I know you got to do stuff, and so, why, wrote the book on how do you think and what do you do simultaneously? Identity requires both. So identity, we talked about this last time, but identity in your life governs everything.

20:10 It’s the, it’s an invisible force. So actually, in this room I’m in, there’s a thermostat right there. It is set at 71 degrees right now. It’s hotter than that outside. The external conditions don’t dictate this internal room here, and so what happens is when it’s hot outside, the thermostat kicks on and cools room and regulates it to its identity setting of 71 degrees.

20:32 That’s exactly what your identity does in your life. This is what, so you have many identities. You have a faith of fitness, a happiness, a financial. Let’s just take business or financial. If you’re a 71 degree, or you’ve already done this in your life, you’re all going to go, oh my god.

20:46 You’re 71 degree, and you start getting 80, 90,100 degrees worth of external results. You’ve learned new skills, your business has taken off. You will find a way over a window of time to turn that freaking air conditioner on of your life and cool it back down to what you believe you’re worth at your thermostat setting, don’t you? And it’s going to seem coincidental. No, no, man.

21:07 Stock market dropped, crypto tanked, my car broke down, supply chain BS, not true. Other people had those same things happen. They stay up there. You cooled it back down to what you believe you’re worth. So the key thing in our lives is not just to acquire these skills.

21:23 It’s altering that thermostat setting to 80, 90,100, because you will always get what you believe you’re worth. And this is true in business and in life. Happiness, you have a fitness one. You have a 70 degree thermostat setting. You got to lose 20 pounds.

21:36 You lose it. You’re at 90. Now a year and a half later, you see that person, they put the 20 pounds back on. They turn the air conditioner on of their life. Relationships same thing, man.

21:45 I found the love of my life, but you’re a 70 degree, what you believe you’re worth in a relationship. Year, ladies and gentlemen. Ah, we grew apart. It wasn’t what I thought it was. Cool it right back down to being alone.

21:54 How do you change it? Three quick things, say it fast. I won’t detail them. I have a trilogy of changing your identity. One, faith.

22:01 If you have faith, you should connect, if you have it, whatever it is, you should be connecting it to your identity. If you’re really the child of a loving God, or you believe the universe vibrates at a frequency in the quantum field, you could tap into it anytime you want. It’s interesting to me. People of faith, man, I love, if you’re a Christian, I love Jesus on Sundays, love them in my Bible study. But when I walk into that business meeting, I’m solo.

22:22 Why? That’s interesting. God’s either always with you or he’s not. Oh, it made you do something great, or he’s not. Start to attach your faith, because you know, your faith to your identity, to your intentions I’m running on a beach one time in Hawaii, guys running towards me, middle of the morning, sun’s not up.

22:38 It’s Wayne Dyer if everyone doesn’t know who Wayne Dyer is, and O’Brien does, look him up. He became a mentor of mine. We watched the sun come up together. He says to me, Ed, you’re going to change the world. You’ve got this amazing voice, your mind’s incredible.

22:50 I was like, 28 years old. I’m sure he said this to lots of people, and he goes, and that’s not why, would you please do me a favor and never attach your worth to your skills or achievements, because you’ll chase them forever. I said, sure, Wayne, what do I attach it to? He said, your intentions. You’ve got a beautiful heart.

23:05 You want to serve, you want to make a difference. Attach it to your intentions, Ed, and you’ll never be alone. And I went, you know what, I don’t always believe in my abilities. I always believe in my intent. So even before we started today, bro, I said a quick prayer, connected with my faith.

23:19 I reminded myself, I don’t have every answer, but man, would I love to help some people today. My intention is to serve you and these folks. So that’s two, and then third is association. If I’m a 70 degree or I hang around 100 degree or they heat me up by proximity. One is not enough.

23:34 You have to attach your faith or belief systems, your intentions, and your associations. You alter the thermostat setting. Wow. Okay, I got a lot to think about now for the next couple days on that. Wow, so many powerful things.

23:45 And yeah, we all know Wayne, here, and it’s amazing you had some contact with him back in the day. Yeah, a lot. Yeah, it shows. It shows now a bit. And so it’s your intentions you connect with, and that way you don’t get caught on your short-term gains or your short-term losses, or whatever.

24:01 You connect with those intentions, you know, those are pure. Connect with the faith, and then you surround yourself with people that keep you on that track, and raise that temperature. And that’s something anybody now can think about and say, okay, which one of those things am I not doing well? If maybe all three, and how can I start to take the action steps even today to start changing one of those in an intentional way? Yes, absolutely.

24:23 And by the way, the reasons that I list those three is, at one point I lacked all three. At one point, at a very low identity. At one point I had no self-confidence. Hopefully people are inspired by the fact that I’m a really average dude, and I don’t say that to, like, be self-deprecating. I really am.

24:40 Yeah, because that’s hard for us to believe. That I mean, that’s hard for us to believe that I got to take a time out, and I want to get back some of these points, but Ed, you, it’s hard to believe you were ever average. So can you explain this to, and make us believe it, because you seem like a high performance person in all aspects of your life, and it seems like you always have been. Somehow, so tell us how that’s not true. I’m not going to be dishonest to say that I’m not now.

25:03 I, I am. I mean, I have bad days, and I’m sad and frustrated and all that stuff, but, but I wasn’t. We’ll get into it in a minute, but I was. I’m this child of an alcoholic. I’m the oldest son, the oldest child, of an alcoholic and a drug addict.

25:19 When you grow up in that kind of chaos and anxiety, you’re ashamed. You think you’re nothing. I would leave my house most days, man, and go, why do I, why can’t I have a good family? You know, and you attach your identity to how screwed up your family is. My friends wouldn’t even come over my house as a kid.

25:35 Like, your dad yells too much, man. It’s too, our neighbors could hear it. When I’d walk outside I was ashamed, because they could hear it, and then I’d go to school, I got beat up and bullied. I was, I was really little. I was so thin.

25:48 I was Eddie Spaghetti. Your meatballs are ready. I got teased every day, and I just, there were even points in my life as a child that I’ve reflected as I’ve gotten older where I wasn’t even sure I wanted to live. I never was suicidal, but I was wondering, what’s the point? Right?

26:01 So I had none of that, and even as an adult I carried a lot of that with me, just all the stuff, limiting beliefs and the things I had to go through as a kid. Look, good news, you know, we’re talking about my dad got sober. But so I’ve, I come from stuff that’s just, like, didn’t give me any self-esteem at all. So I had to learn all of these tools that I have in the book, brother. to become a baseline functioning person, but then when it started to work I went, wait a minute, and I had great, my, I had Robbins.

26:29 I was young. I had Wayne Dyer when I was young, I mean, friends, and then I had this team psychologist when I played baseball, that was actually killed, that Turk taught me all the stuff about neuroplasticity way before it was cool, and your reticular activating system in your brain, and I learned all this cutting-edge stuff. He would have been famous, that he not died. I took it and made it mine. So I absolutely come from nothing like that, and I’ve worked really hard on becoming someone who’s self-confident and makes a difference in the world through this stuff.

26:57 It’s, it’s so impressive to hear that progress. And one of the things you talk about is that your dad ended up becoming sober at one point, and I think he told you in the car he said, I, one more time, give me one more time, and it was probably asking a faith from you that probably seemed impossible, but maybe it showed you that one more time could, could even exist even for something like someone like your dad. Yeah, one more try. But we’re driving, we’re going to a baseball game, never seen my dad cry before.

27:27 After, my dad was a dude, man, like a man. I see my dad in more than 40 physical fights. I’m not exaggerating. Side of the freeway you know, baseball game, Angel game, church one Sunday, and the donut line. Like, I’ve seen my old man scrap.

27:42 My dude was when I was a dude, and my dad didn’t live well the first 15 years of my life and then they lived magnificently the last 35. The best I’ve ever seen. My belief that humans can change stems from, I watched my hero do it, but he’s crying in the car that day. He goes, hey, look, I’m gonna go away. I’m gonna, I’m gonna try to quit drinking one more time.

28:03 I said, Daddy, what would be any different this time? You tried to quit a bunch of times. He goes, I’m losing you and my family. Your mom’s taking you guys from me, and the truth is you deserve a dad you can be proud of, and your mom deserves a husband she can respect. So I’m gonna give it one more try.

28:21 The first one more I’d ever heard in my life was that one. And then when he got sober, and I know you relate to this, when he got sober I said, Dad, are you never gonna drink or use drugs again? And he goes, I can’t promise you that, but I know this. I’m not gonna, for one more day at a time, and my dad stacked up 35 years of those one more days into sobriety, till the day he passed away. And for me, that lesson, I’ve used it a lot, Brian.

28:45 Like, a lot of businesses I’ve had, my back was up against the wall. What we said, never quit. You start trying to make these lifetime decisions under pressure. You’re like, screw it. I didn’t do that.

28:54 I just went, I’m not going to quit for one more day. Just one more day. I’m not going to quit. I’m, stick around one more day, see how I feel tomorrow, and some of those days I felt different. I stacked up those one mores into now a 35-year business career.

29:06 One funny thing I realized recently, I just tell you this to get a kick out of this. My dad got sober on 4/20. That day he was crying was 4/20. Only my old man will get sober on the date of 4/20 in our life, and my dad never again celebrated his actual birthday. He celebrated his sobriety birthday the rest of his life.

29:25 That is incredible. And I know you got very close to him over the years, but it must have been amazing to just watch that transformation and see someone pull that off, because it works in theory, but it’s so hard to do in practice. And I, I’ve been very public about my struggles with sobriety, and with drugs and addiction but then I, it finally did click, and I found a way to do it. One of the most proudest things I’ve ever done in my life. But for you to witness someone do it must have been inspiring.

29:57 It must have changed who you were as a person too, brother. It’s, I rely on it all to this day. I had a breakthrough about three weeks ago. I got to share with you, brother, just for me and you, but everyone can listen. Tell me, we discount ourselves in our lives.

30:09 This is what human beings do. All this sounds good. Ed, sounds good, Brian, but you don’t know me. You don’t know my divorce. You don’t know my beak, my financial failures.

30:18 You don’t know these things I’m super ashamed of and embarrassed by. You don’t know that I’ve never been successful in anything. I’m totally average. This stuff I would love to believe applies to me, but I’m disqualified. This is what most people think, and it’s me.

30:30 Remind me I want to say something to you. It’s your humanity, your life experience combined with your intentions and your gifts, that will be actually what causes you to change your life and other people’s lives. The very things you think disqualify you are what qualify you. I’m telling you, three weeks ago, bro, I wake up 3:15 in the morning. Number one decision that’s altered my life is my dad got sober.

30:53 You and I probably aren’t talking if he didn’t. My kids are grateful for it. They didn’t even know him. My grandkids will thank him for it. I’ve reached millions of people because my dad made that decision.

31:03 3:15, I wake up. Babe, wake up, wake up. My wife, she goes, yeah. I go, I just realized something. Someone helped Daddy.

31:13 She went, I’m 51, bro. My dad’s past. I already wrote the book. She goes, what? I said, someone helped my dad.

31:21 I never thought about it before. Someone helped my dad in the darkest most shameful, horrible moment of his life. Some precious soul, precious human being altered the direction of our children’s lives, who weren’t even born. They saved my dad’s life in some bar somewhere, or coffee shop, or dark room. Some human being stepped forward and said, I’ll help you.

31:46 She goes, oh my god. I said, I know. I do. Who they are, and I said, that’s not the craziest part. The craziest part is what qualified that person to help them with their mess, the fact that they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one time.

31:59 The things that person was most ashamed of in their life, most embarrassed by, the thing they think disqualifies them the most from happiness or success or making a difference, is the very thing that qualified them to help Daddy. That when they were driving drunk and lying to their family and doing horrible things, they were preparing for this moment to meet my dad. When they were doing drugs and stealing from their family or lying to people or doing stuff they’re embarrassed by, the things they think disqualified them from being happy and successful is actually the only thing that qualified them to help my dad.

32:31 And this is the beauty of how the universe works, how God works, that our experiences, the things we think the disqualifiers, are the very things that prepare us if we’ll embrace them, if we’ll be vulnerable, if we’ll overcome them, to teach someone else how to do better in their life. And I think it’s one of the most profound lessons I’ve ever learned, bro. And it was three weeks ago, after the book was written. And you just thought there was one person that made him flip out there, and that person wasn’t perfect, didn’t have whatever experiences, and it was that one person that then magnified and changed everyone else’s life.

33:03 My gosh, brother, like all of his grandchildren, someone listening to me and you right now is because this person went, I’ll help you, right? And I don’t feel qualified to help you. I don’t feel prepared to help you. I’m pretty screwed up myself, but here we go. Yeah, that happened, and that this is the lesson of life for everybody.

33:24 Such a big lesson. I mean, talking real. I mean, Ed, you know, in, in 2018 I went to run an Ironman race. One of my guests in the studio, John Joseph, former Cro-Mags, you know, punk rock singer, challenged me to do it, and said, hey Brian, you’re going to do this. 90 days on a vegan diet.

33:40 I said, what are you talking about? I’m busy. I got two kids, la la. He said, come to New York City, let’s do it. I started training in New York.

33:47 I got all these flashbacks to my dark memories and my, my problems in 2001 when I lost my girlfriend, lost my job, had an overdose, and it all came out, and we were filming a documentary, and I just talked about it with John, because John had some history of sexual abuse, and we just both had a real guy’s chat on a sofa in the East Village. And I’m telling you, we came back to London, and my guys are like, what are we gonna do with this footage? And I’m like, man, we talk about being vulnerable in my Academy.

34:13 We talk about being vulnerable on the show. Let’s, we gotta roll it. And it was the scariest thing I ever did in my life, to tell people about the major failure, and I thought it was such a darkness in my life, it would never have any positive value, which is why I didn’t tell anybody about it, and told my wife about it, all my kids about it, because I just thought this darkness will sit there forever and always be darkness. When we published that episode that week, when I shared it with my family when I told the world, guess what, this guy you’re looking at, is, is went through this dark experience, made these big mistakes, almost ended his own life.

34:47 I’m telling you, Ed, it just all the light bulbs went off with everybody. Emails from around the world. Brian, that was me. That was my uncle. That was my dad.

34:54 That happened to you. How could that happen to you? Bam, bam, conversations, empowerment. Ed, the darkest moment of my life ended up being an incredible source of light and love and happiness, 10x bigger than my suffering, maybe a thousand x bigger, but it was only because I was willing to share it, and learn from it, and, and pass it on, brother. That’s God bless you.

35:15 That’s so beautiful. That is, I, it says that, in Think and Grow Rich, a quote. Hill, he says, on the other side of temporary pain you get introduced to your other self. And all pain is temporary. My dad’s body stopped working.

35:31 Whatever pain my father was in with cancer, eventually that pain stopped. And so what you did is you met your other self on the other side of that adversity and that pain, but then to be willing to share it, take some balls, man, take some courage, and you should be acknowledged for that, because it is the thing that is probable. That’s probably the thing you’ve done in your life that has caused you to help more people in that instant than most of your life cumulatively before.

35:55 Right? And so I want to acknowledge you for doing that, man. That’s why I’m willing to talk about my dad, and by the way, my own screw-ups all the time. If you and I were perfect, how uninspiring would that crap be? But the fact that we’re flawed and we’re men, and we make mistakes, should give people hope.

36:10 Like, if these two guys can do it, heck, maybe I can. And the truth is, you can in your way, in your unique way, and you did that. That’s magnificent, bro. I’m glad you shared that with me. No, it’s, it’s, it’s so good talking to you, and so people need to listen to this and realize that guess what?

36:24 All that life experience that causes you to think I’m not qualified actually does make you qualify. And if you can go ahead and help that one person, it will magnify and, and continue, and then pull you along with it with this incredible experience. And you get into these one more. Is one more is in the book, and you talk about living in the Matrix, and I guess that comes back to that vision you see, and that articulation system, and you talk about the principles of time management.

36:49 You know, what should we go deep on here? Because like you said, I think those two things, the RAS is huge. You said earlier, like, is my identity a big part? It is the way I manage time, and my RAS are probably my two biggest factors that have altered my life. So the Matrix, really quick, I love that movie.

37:06 Number one, I just rewatched it in Boston. I was with my daughter. We were looking at schools, and, one night we were so exhausted, and so we’re like, watching a movie, and I was like, let’s watch the Matrix. She hadn’t seen it, and I rewatched the whole thing. It is crazy.

37:18 Crazy. It’s so good. And I, my kids haven’t seen it either, and I’ve made them watch it now, the new one. So, so you know, but I made them watch the old ones to watch the new one. But here’s the thing.

37:28 There’s a couple things in the book that I love, that in the Matrix that I love, that are also in the book. Neo has the ability to slow things down, to what he calls bullet time, because he’s so hyper focused on something. He’s programmed his RAS. Your matrix is your RAS, meaning it reveals to you your reality. That’s what your RAS is, the reticular activating system.

37:47 It’s located in the prefrontal cortex of your brain, and that doesn’t matter. Here’s all you need to know: it reveals to you what’s most important to you. And so it’s incredible. I’ll give an example. I just bought a Tesla.

37:59 I don’t really want one, but I like what Musk has been doing. I have no idea what he’s really doing, but I just kind of like this dude. So I buy a Tesla. It gets delivered last Thursday, bro. I’m driving now, driving my wife crazy.

38:10 I’m like, red Tesla, bait, white Tesla. There’s another one, freaking Teslas everywhere. Three lanes over, other side of the freeway, the other day, babe, they’re going the other direction, black Tesla. She’s like, what in the world? How do you see all these Teslas?

38:23 And I go, here’s what’s crazy. They were always there, but they weren’t part of my RAS before, because now I have one. I see these Teslas freaking everywhere. If you go into a loud room, quite a loud room, 300 people, it’s not even loud. Someone says Brian or Ed, we hear our own voice audibly over all the noise in the room, because it’s part of our RAS.

38:42 So the key thing in life, because now you’re all going, I know exactly what you’re talking about, bro. If you’re a guy and you’re single and you like blondes, you walk into a room of 500 people, within about one minute you can tell me where all the beautiful blondes are. If you like brunettes, you know where all the brunettes are. If you’re a woman and you like guys with big muscles, you can tell me where all the muscular guys are pretty quickly. It’s your RAS.

39:04 The key thing in life is those one mores you have to link them together. Those decisions, those meetings, those relationships. We’re saying that you are one more away from, need to become your test lists, and when they become your Teslas, you begin to see them everywhere. They were always there, but you’re missing them because you’re not programmed to do it. And when you’re programmed to do it, because mind moves towards what it’s most familiar with, so I teach you in the book very simple, repeated simple visualizations that you do repeatedly over and over again.

39:31 They’re very basic, they’re not complicated to program your matrix. And now you begin to see the meeting, see the relationship, find the thought, find the emotion, hear the conversation that was going on around you all the time that was not inside your matrix. Now it’s in your matrix, and you see them. This is not to be taken lightly. It will change your freaking life.

39:51 Great football player Tom Brady, his matrix is different than a rookie quarterback’s. His matrix. When he’s at the line of scrimmage calling the play, he can find the hole in the defense and audible into the right play. If not, when he takes the snap, back he has been programmed in his matrix. Like bullet time, things slow down, and he can see the open receiver as opposed to the covered one.

40:14 The rookie quarterback, their matrix is under panic mode, and they see the covered receivers only. They’re all on the field. One sees the open one, one sees the covered one. This is the difference between success and failure, and it’s very easy to fix. That’s your matrix.

40:30 Boom. So don’t get caught up in that reactionary matrix, where your matrix is getting hijacked. Find a way where you can focus it on the things that are important or that you can have the time to find those things, and realize that it’s happening, and don’t let it happen to you. No, you’re aware of it. And the other thing in the Matrix, Neo is the one.

40:50 That’s what they call them, the One, and in every family, man, eventually the One shows up. I live here in Victoria Beach, in Laguna Beach. When I was a little kid, my wife and I met in the elementary school. We were in high school. I would take her on this beach.

41:02 Go, babe, I’m gonna get us a beach house someday. I’ll get against one of these beach houses. no freaking clue how to do it. I went home. I said, hey Dad, who are these people?

41:09 Live oceanfront? My dad’s like, I got no idea. I don’t want the lotto. Like, I don’t know anybody that lives on the ocean, which we didn’t. Then I figured it out.

41:18 When you find a family that’s really happy or really successful, or both, somewhere back in their lineage they weren’t, and then the One shows up in that family. And that One changes that family forever, the way the world treats them. My, I’m the One in my family, man. I’m the One, and then what the world ain’t gonna have their thumb on the Mylettes anymore. we think different.

41:41 We act different. The world treats us different. We operate in this place different, because I showed up. And in your family, if you’re listening to this, you could be the One, and it’s not because you’ll like it or you hope for it, because you’ll fight for them. You’ll fight for your family because you love them so damn much.

41:56 You want to change the way the world treats them forever. My nieces and nephews, they don’t think like I thought when I was a kid. They think different because of Uncle Eddie. They think different. My kids think different than how I thought growing up, because the dad, I’m the One in my family.

42:11 You’re the One in your family, Brian. Let’s be real, right? And so all of you listen to this, you could be the One, but you got to know how to do it, and the One starts with your RAS. It starts with programming yourself. It starts with doing a little.

42:21 My mother-in-law loves Jesus. She sees Jesus everywhere, brother. Like, as you walk outside, the wind blows, thank you, Jesus. You all know someone like this, thank you, Jesus. She’ll be like, I, I was late to my hair appointment today, and Jesus made all the lights green.

42:37 I got there in four minutes early. She sees Jesus everywhere. Right? So what a beautiful filter for the world for her is that she sees that everywhere. But a lot of people, they see their problems.

42:49 They see what they’re worried about. They see their fears. Your mind is moving towards what you’re most familiar with, men and women, and if you’re most familiar with, when you wake up, my to-do list, what I’m worried about, what could happen, my fears, my worries, you’re projecting, your RAS begins to find the people, places and resources to prove you right. You will have those problems. You will have those anxieties.

43:10 You will have those fears. So I have a, I can tell you how to do it, but there’s a whole part of the book on how to do that. Yeah, there’s a whole chapter on that. Of loving this, and I’ve never heard this IP anywhere, and I’ve never heard it all combined in one place either, Ed, especially coming from a guy like you who walks the walk and talks the talk 24/7. And again, I follow everything you’re doing on Instagram, like I said, I’ve seen you in Maine.

43:32 I’ve seen you in L.A. I see you with your cigars. I see you on the golf course. I see you with your dogs, and so we know that you walk that, you live this congruently. And again, it’s not, it’s not just philosophy.

43:44 You’re giving us practical ways of changing things, right? Like, thank you, bro. I, I’ll just say one thing. I’ll brag for one minute. This ain’t another book.

43:53 Yeah, every book I read in personal development, it’s just the same book. It’s made the same book with some different words. I didn’t want to write that book, what did I actually do? What are the things you really do to change your life? What do I need to think, what do I need to do?

44:11 And I’ll be honest with you, I’m not writing another one for a long time. I’m 51, you’re 51. You know what we both realized? By the time we’re 51 years old, at 30 I knew everything. At 51, man, I know how little I know.

44:25 I just, I, there’s just a lot I don’t know, but here’s the thing. What I put in this book is what I do know. And I got to live another five or ten years before I write another one, so I know some new stuff. I got it in this book. You read the book, you know what I know.

44:38 That’s why it’s only 250 or 280 pages, because I don’t know that I don’t know that much, but this stuff’s good stuff. I love it, and that’s what we need. And, again, the reason we’re talking right now is because you left me a voicemail a couple weeks ago. You said brother, we got to talk, I got something here that’s just going to change the game, and it’s going to really blow a lot of people’s minds, and, and maybe shock people. Maybe I’ve said a few people, but I’m letting this thing out and I was like, oh, here we go.

45:03 So that’s why we’re here, and, I’m, I’m excited. I’m excited about these mindsets too, and again, I’ve been talking about this stuff for quite a few years with a lot of really impressive people. And you’re getting my attention. Let’s just say that. Let’s, let’s say, let’s talk about time management, because again I appreciate these action steps you’re talking to us.

45:22 Time is something that’s probably related to that RAS a little bit, somehow that again most people don’t know where their time goes, don’t know how to manage their time, and then they get to the end of their life, and they don’t know where their time went. How do you consider time process time, and educate people about time? Okay. Time management. How many of us have taken a time management course?

45:41 All right. Do the urge in an important thing first. Have a to-do list. Do the hard things. Like, okay, here’s the whole thing.

45:47 You ready? The most ridiculous concept going on in the world today is a 24-hour day. We are still managing and measuring time the same way we did 300 years ago. A day is still 24 hours. Who the hell came up with this crowd?

46:02 Well, I got, I know it’s got something with the sun and the Earth’s rotation. I get all that crap, but 300 years ago, guys, there was no cars. There weren’t any cars. So if you wanted to communicate, I would have to write a letter with my hands, put it on a horse’s ass, drive the horse to you. A month later you get it, maybe.

46:19 You get it then, you write me back, and I get another letter back a month later. Now there’s this thing called a car. Oh, they came with this thing called a phone. They got this thing called electricity, and then this huge advancement came called internet, and then this thing called a smartphone. And so what used to take you and I five hours to do, a report in high school, to go to the library, find the book, research it, write it down by hand, get an Encyclopedia Britannica.

46:42 My daughter can do in one second on Google. I can text you in one second, and I’m still managing time in the same increments as a day as a dude did 300 years ago. Are you out of your freaking mind? But people do it every single day. I’m one of the few human beings who hasn’t done that for 25 years.

47:00 I’ve shrunk and compressed and manipulated and bent time, because I am average. So I combined my RAS with my one mores with all these things we’ve talked about. And here’s the kicker: my day starts at 6 a.m. It runs till noon. That’s a day.

47:13 We’ve all had a morning where we go, I got more done this morning than I’ve done in three weeks. Why can’t you do that every day? Now, by the way, some 24-hour days I watch Netflix and chill and do nothing. I still do that in my many days, but my mini day is 6 a.m. to noon, and at noon this little clock goes off at the end of my day, like it does for you at about 8 p.m. every day, except mine’s at noon. What did I get done?

47:32 Business, context, fitness, fun, faith, whatever. What got done. And then I recalibrate. What do I need to double my efforts on, what am I grateful for, what didn’t I get done on the list, what has to happen. Second day kicks in.

47:43 Noon to 6 p.m., and it goes off, and that day, contacts, business, fitness, faith, family. It’s all in there. Fun. Noon to 6 p.m. Third day, 6 p.m. to midnight, same thing.

47:55 And so now I’m accountable three different times a day. I’ve been to manipulated time, and here’s the kicker. I get 21 days a week now. I get three days in the day. I get 21 days a week.

48:04 You get seven. Stack that up over a month, who’s gonna win? Stack it up over six months, who’s gonna win? Stack it up over six years. And I’ve had thousands more days than you.

48:16 I’m gonna crush you. I’m gonna crush the world. I’m going to make something crazy happen. There’s another kicker. What is perceived as valuable and precious and rare, people perceive value.

48:29 For all of a sudden the world starts reacting to you differently. You vibrate at a higher frequency. You’re a little bit faster, and all of a sudden the world takes your time more seriously. They place more value on you and your time when you manipulate this. So what I’m getting out of my life is literally thousands more days than a man my age.

48:46 So the last 25 years I’ve had thousands more days to do my one mores. So I combined the bending of time with the concept of one more, with the self-confidence, with the identity, and I’m a dangerous dude to compete against. And you start stacking that up, your world’s different. You are a fool if you run a 24-hour day, because the same day was being run 300 years ago. And it is bananas that you could calibrate time the same way those people did, and I don’t.

49:13 And that’s what’s changed my life. That’s how you are an average man and produce extraordinary results in your life, is by changing and bending and manipulating time. And so go deeper on that. 6 a.m. to noon, is what you’re doing. And that’s programmed in, you’re locked in.

49:30 Boom, boom, boom. At that point you re-evaluate I do just like you do at the end of your day. Like right now, I mean, I, and it’s by the way, you do this for a week, a normal week, you’ll be like, nah. Do it for about three months, and you’ll come back, go, bro, this is insane. But around noon, I don’t know what happens.

49:43 My mind just goes at noon. Okay, day two, what did I just get done? What did I miss? Man, I didn’t train. You know what, I was supposed to make those 10 contacts today.

49:53 I’ve only done two. I messed up my first day. It means I’ve got to do 12 this day, and I start to shift and recalibrate, and it becomes your construct of what a day is. At first, it’s a gimmick. At first it’s a strategy.

50:08 Then it becomes your construct. I’m telling you, it’s nine o’clock here, and I have three hours left in my day. I do, and my second day will start at noon, and it is like a brand new morning. I’ll even do a little stretch or meditation, oftentimes, to start my new day, to kick it back off again. And so then there’s another day from noon to six, and another day from six to midnight.

50:28 Yeah, and sometimes I’m asleep in that day, that’s okay. I’ve slept on, you know, how many full Sundays I’ve just slept and watched TV, lots, and that’s okay. But I’m doing it on a mini day, not a full day. Right? And so we’ve kind of programmed our mind to get us ourselves into this 24-hour day, which means we kind of let that day kind of unfold, and these kinds of things happen.

50:48 You’re intentional about those first six hours, and you’re like, bam, bam, bam, and now it’s the second day, and you’re intentional about those next six hours. So you’re reprogramming your mind to have a different concept of what a day is, or 24 hours is, pacing is different. And by the way, just the whole pace of my life is different. I don’t have that many one-hour-long meetings. Isn’t it weird that we schedule meetings in one-hour increments when we know we could probably knock them out in like 22 minutes?

51:11 By the way, I’m not talking about being a crazy person. I’m being very clear. Yesterday, my third day, I smoked a cigar at 6:30. The first half hour of my third day yesterday, and then I got on my laptop, though, when I prepared, because I have some interviews today that I’m doing and I worked for a couple hours on my podcast. I returned a bunch of emails, and about by 8:30 the rest of my day was chill, but it was a day.

51:35 And so it’s not, I’m not some psycho. I just have changed my construct of what time is, and I’m going to tell you all, it’ll change your life maybe more than anything you will ever do. And it’s fascinating, this helps so much, because like I said, Ed, I follow all the stuff you do on IG, and it looks like a guy’s having just too much fun. You know, it’s the golf, it’s the workouts, it’s the cigars overlooking your beautiful place on the beach, and I’m like, okay, but you don’t, I know you don’t get that without the work and the focus and the intention and the faith.

52:02 And so now that you’re telling me this and filling in what’s behind the scenes on the IG feed, it makes sense, and I knew that part was there, Ed, because I know you and I see what you produce. I see the impact you make. And yet, quite frankly, when I look at your IG feed it, it doesn’t seem right. It seemed like somebody else, but now I’m seeing why. So you’re putting together all the pieces, and it’s very congruent now with how you attack it.

52:27 Thank you, man. Yeah, when I coach, I, I’m blessed that you know, I get to coach some of the top athletes in the world, politicians, some of them run really big countries, and actors, and whatnot, and people ask me, what do you work with them on? Oftentimes it’s the stuff I put in this book, instead of reserving it for people to pay me a fortune that impact the entire world. I wanted to give these things to people that I know could impact the world, so this concept of time, I’ve worked with this on some very significant world leaders, and it’s altered their entire staff and what they do.

52:58 The stuff on the Matrix, man, does that work good with UFC dudes and putters in golf and things like that? So these are just strategies. I’ve worked with the best in the world with that. I want to share with all of you who could be the best in the world. I love it.

53:10 I love it. UFC, don’t get me started about the Charles Oliveira performance that really had me captivated, of someone that’s really focused. How about my dude Michael Chandler, though? That was pretty good, amazing as well. You know, I was, I was amazing as well, and again, to see him give that knockout, was something that he hasn’t practiced.

53:29 It shows you someone that’s obviously in the flow, right? And it’s obviously letting things happen in a weird tapping to some higher energy source. What he did wrong is he worked in his matrix. So there’s a chapter in my book called One More Level of Equanimity. Equanimity means to be calm under duress.

53:46 I teach this to my fighters. Sometimes when Michael’s in fights, you see guys, the brawl starts and they speed things up and go for it, and that’s what happened with him and Oliveira. Actually, it’s what happened with him in gaichi this time. Mike got clocked by Ferguson in the first round, and you can literally watch him step back, find equanimity, slow things down in his matrix, and he ends up not going to do that as a perfect example, because you know this, with a leg kick that he’d never practiced.

54:10 I know, because things slowed down and the opening was there. He was in bullet time. It’s a really good example of the matrix and equanimity, and that was thanks to you, I guess, as well? No, no, no, no. That’s 100 thanks to him.

54:20 Trust me, that is not thanks to me. That is Michael, 100, not, not one percent. Ed Mylett, 100. Michael, right? And you might, but you might have been helping him a little in the background.

54:31 I, it was great to see. I love his energy, and I watched that. You know, quick thing, Ed, I was scheduled to have my first boxing match on April 30th this year. One of my old guests called me out of the blue, and I, I said yes to a three-round boxing match at the O2 Arena in London, and I started training with David Haye, the, the former, you know, world champion boxer here, and David’s become a good friend. He was a big fan of, of us, you know, fighting for free speech and all the things we did, and I went over to his gym, and David’s training me, and Eddie says, I got to throw you in with some sparring partners that are half your age, and I thought, well, Ed, I got injuries, we’re a few weeks out, and one of my other trainers said it’s a bad idea, and he said, Brian, you’re gonna have to get in there and find out what you’re made of.

55:12 And it was, it was probably the scariest thing I’ve done in a long time. I had this kid half my age across the ring who, you know, wants to knock out Brian Rose from London Real. And I’m in there. I haven’t had a pro fight. I did some sparring back in the day.

55:26 I’m 50 years old at the time. And you know, getting through that was one thing, but then watching it back and learning from it, and I did about four or five more of those, and then David taught me what you might have taught to a bunch of other people, which is to, to find a way to slow it down, and then I showed myself that I could be in there, actually, and I could handle it, and I could pop him back a few times, and by the third session I was winning rounds, and David was looking at me like, wow, Brian, you’re doing this, you’re doing this, and it’s based on what we practice, and it’s based on the mindset we practice, and the combinations we practice, and it was just exactly what you’re saying in real time, and to see myself doing it, I could see how at that highest level of professionals, the ones we think are pros, the ones between the winners and the ones that don’t win, it’s, it’s just that, that mental mastery in that moment.

56:18 Right, bro? That’s so impressive that you did that. I love it. I knew I had seen you training. I just didn’t know what it was all about.

56:24 I remember that actually, because you had talked about it, even you made some posts. I think about it, because I remember knowing this about you. Yeah, but what it is, is that it’s the same thing, like you’re walking into a sales call. Do you get nervous, and things speed up, and I can’t remember my script or what to say or do? Or do you have the ability to slow things down, and listen to them, and be present with them, and respond?

56:45 The best people under duress have equanimity. They can slow things down, not speed them up. Performance happens when everything you called it, the flow or the zone, is when things slow down. The question then just becomes how do you do it? It’s not very complicated stuff to do, and I, I’m that’s your whole life, man.

57:03 So impressive to me, the things you’re willing to, to do, that the risk of failure, what most people would call failure, that you’re willing to take, is so inspiring with you, bro. Like, everyone talks a good game. You’ve been doing this stuff, and it seems as you get older, your willingness to do it, and actually more famous and more well-known, which is where most people start to play it safer. You’ve been willing to put yourself out there even more, and I, like, I am so so impressed with that, Brian.

57:29 Well, thanks for sending that. I still got a long way to go. Trust me. Trust me on that. But it was, it was the funny thing I’ll say, Ed, and I don’t want to talk about one more dream, because it was a great chapter in here.

57:39 The 40-year-old Brian could have never taken that fight because he wasn’t mentally prepared. I had done some boxing in the past. I had done some martial arts training, you know, at the gym, but he wasn’t mentally able to say yes to a fight, and even though I was 10 years later and by no means at a peak of my physical performance, I knew mentally that you need to get yourself in there, and that you can handle this, because of all the great mentors I had over the years, including you, that have basically said it’s, you need to go into the fear.

58:13 It’s in your mind. You can find a way through it. This pal pass. And then that allowed me to say yes, and then go down that path of doing it. So it’s very inspiring.

58:23 It’s, it’s that evolution, and I’m still learning, and luckily having great conversations with people like you, I, I can hear these concepts, and then I, then I put them into practice, and then keep learning, and that’s kind of the difference, isn’t it? You actually put things into practice. Yeah, you go, why are you willing to put everything in a book that you, that you do? Because I know most people aren’t going to do it. I’m writing it for the few people who will.

58:44 And in my book, the other thing, too, I’ll say, because you do this, not everything resonates with you. There’s entire chapters in my book you’re like, I’m not I don’t need that one, but there’ll be one that you need. And it’s just like, I gotta, I told you this before we started today, watching your life, man, it is truly inspiring. There are people who say inspiring things and then there are people who are inspiring. And to me, I’ve watched you shift from a dude who says a lot of inspiring things, not shift, maybe you always were, but at least for me, saying inspiring things to, like, being inspiring, and that’s like rarefied air.

59:18 Like, you are an inspiring man, and I’m really grateful that I get to watch it, because it moves me to take risks that maybe I wouldn’t take. Thanks, that means a ton, man, that means a ton. And you mentioned your book, like you said, not always will there be a chapter that resonates with everyone, but the crazy thing is that, that’s at that point in their life. Now, when they pick your book up five years from now or ten years from now, they’ll be drawn to a different chapter.

59:42 And a different chapter. One of the things my dad said to me when I started doing London Real, after a few years, he said, you know what, Brian? There’s one person in the world that took one thing from that show, and that happened in one specific minute in that show, for whatever that person needed at the moment. And I was like, wow, Dad, that’s pretty deep for a guy that’s not in broadcasting, that you know, is in California. He did his whole thing in tech.

1:00:05 And I was like, yeah, you’re right. So we put out, that was what we’re doing right now, and that somewhere around the world will take what they need for it. What’s gonna need to get them to the next level in that moment, and that’s what they’re gonna draw from it. Then a bit like what you said with your dad, that one person at that one instant. And so I love that.

1:00:21 I’m gonna remember that when I’m doing my show. That’s really good. Don’t thank your dad for that. It’s, it’s so powerful, and that’s what you’re doing when you create content, when you take a risk and say, I guess what, I’m going to put a book out. That’s a big thing for you to do, and you do a lot of things, and like you said, you know, it’s like, this has got to be important.

1:00:35 This has got to be good. This got to be game-changing. I know you’re not going to do it anyways, and now obviously it is. But to do that, then you put the intention out there, you take the risk, but that means now everybody can tap in to all that information source, and there’s at least one chapter here that’s gonna change anyone’s life who reads it. I mean, this is already getting me pumped.

1:00:56 So yeah, that’s the way I think about content, and came from my dear old dad, funny enough. And then once the content’s out there, like your podcast, like your IG, like your books, then it can be drawn out. I think, Ed, for hundreds of years, thousands of years, maybe longer. I think people are going to be watching us. Who knows?

1:01:12 Millions of years from now, watching these two you know, guys, from what will look like black and white TV to us today. Right? I know that’s crazy, but they were good looking, though. I mean, it was two good-looking dudes going at it, so it’s pretty awesome. Right?

1:01:24 And the inspiration they were dropping was timeless, and the passion was timeless, and they’ll be like, wow, okay, I’m getting something from that. I got one more dream in here, because again it was something that really clicked. And it was, it was part part of the thing that’s in one of your chapters. What do you mean by that? Because earlier, Ed, you said you got to give yourself also time to think, as well, which I guess means time to dream in this world of go, get it and do it and hustle and do more.

1:01:51 Tell me about what, what it means to dream. It’s, it’s the, it’s undervalued. So I’m talking about lucid daytime dreams, not when you’re sleeping, giving yourself the gift of it. So there’s two operating systems. Human beings move out of history and memory or imagination and dreams, and you don’t do both.

1:02:08 So if you’re someone who operates out of your history and memory, you’re in the 99% of the population. It’s okay, because I’ve done it myself, but you are constantly operating out of emotions, very familiar emotions, very familiar thoughts, very familiar questions you ask yourself. I have three chapters: questions, thoughts and emotions. For that reason we have to evaluate those things. But you operate out of your history and your memory, you reproduce because your mind moves towards what it’s most familiar with, so you’ll just reproduce the same emotions, the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same results, with a different cast of characters, maybe a different circumstance.

1:02:41 Same stuff. One percent force themselves to work into imagination. When you’re a child, I think when you’re three, four, five years old, you’re happier for a couple reasons. One, you, you’re just more recently with God, and two, you operate in an imagination framework, because you don’t have a history in a memory. And then as we get older, even by the time we’re eight or ten years old, we start to operate out of these different filters, which is our, our memory and our history.

1:03:05 So I force myself to dream, and I do it regularly. I dream when I’m driving. I imagine when I’m driving. People, that’s corny as hell. No, actually it’s not.

1:03:12 Many of the best things in my life I imagined first. They were ridiculous. I had no plan or strategy, but when you imagine something and have a thought of it, you create a space in the world that didn’t exist before you had that imagination or thought, and the way the world works is if you imagine it over and over and over again, your mind, toward your mind, starts to RAS the furniture of the space, starts to find the person, the place, the thing, the relationship to fill up that space.

1:03:37 30 years ago, I used to say I was a broadcast major in college, not a business major, and I said, someday I’ll have a television show that shows people how to improve their lives and make something great happen, and no one’s really doing this other than Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil Donahue back in the day. Right? And I’m like, someday I’ll have this show. Then I completely got out of broadcasting. I became a businessman, but I always had this imagination of doing it, and then technology came along, and then podcasting came along, and then all of a sudden, bingo bango, I’m doing it.

1:04:05 Right? And I’ve had dreams of doing lots of things in my life that were an imagination. My best friends and I, here’s how you know you’re around the wrong people. There’s a lot of these, and you have it. Remember when, remember with that party?

1:04:17 How about Vegas three years ago, bro? How about that? Remember, remember that, remember. Most of my friends don’t do that with me. In fact, it’s hard to get him to do it.

1:04:26 We’re like, hey man, where are you going? Man, I’m working on this crazy idea. You don’t believe this. My friends are texting me, hey, look at this house. I’m looking at, how about this car?

1:04:33 I look at this thing, so and so, look at this new research on the brain. Look, we’re constantly imagining and dreaming, and that’s the frame I want to stay in. Most that’s not that I never reminisced, but not a lot. In fact, writing the book was hard for me, because it forced me to reminisce about the past with my dad, where I don’t go there very often. I live, and I live in the imagination and operate in the present.

1:04:54 So one more dream is huge, and if you’re not dreaming, you’re dying. And here’s the last thing about it. It’s free. It’s completely free. Dreaming is free, and it’s a muscle, and I’m telling you, if you want to know what mega successful people talk about with one another, or really happy people, it is their imaginations and dreams.

1:05:14 It’s the conversations, the primary conversation I have with my most successful friends, and what they rarely discuss is the past. And if you’re around average, ordinary people, they very rarely discuss their imagination and their dreams, and they regularly discuss their memories and their past. So true, Ed. I, I realized this a long time ago, that if you’re talking about the good old days, or that time in high school, or you’re talking about these old times, then I just stopped hanging out with those people, because I want to talk about, you know, not the old times, not even the current times.

1:05:48 I want to talk about these new incredible times of the future. Like, how does a guy run for mayor of London? How does that happen? Yeah, and that’s, I have to imagine at one point you just imagined it. Yeah, and then you started, go, well, that’s crazy, but, and then you started to fill up the space with the thoughts, the ideas, the concepts, and all of a sudden this mf was running for the mayor.

1:06:08 Right? It had to start as an idea. Am I right? It had to. Yeah.

1:06:12 And, you know, what I first thought of when you said this, Ed, is that 12 years ago I was in my flat here in London. I was still working in the City as a derivatives broker, and I was a Sunday afternoon, and I was watching The Joe Rogan Experience on Vimeo, because he wasn’t on YouTube, and I knew about him because he was a UFC commentator, not because he was famous. And I was watching him have this long conversation with two dudes at his house. He was back at his house, back in the day, and I watched it and had this amazing connection with these dudes I could never hang out with, and at the end of that Sunday afternoon I thought, maybe I could do that one day.

1:06:46 Seriously. Wow, that was like 12 years ago. And then I thought, wow, what if you could do that, have these cool people come over to your house and talk about these cool ideas? Wouldn’t that be amazing? And I allowed myself to dream, and then the reasonable branch about, you can’t, you’re at the bank, you have to go to work tomorrow, you have to get on the phones and do the stuff.

1:07:04 And but I gave myself that little instant, and it planted a seed, and that I would kind of come back to that dream, and come back to that dream, and that’s Literally what happened, man. That’s why we’re here today, and that’s crazy. I know it is crazy, and now that you say it, and I guess everybody listening can think now, how can I even be more intentional about that? And just, I guess you’re forcing yourself to dream every day. Force yourself to, again, realize that you’re already in your own matrix that’s not serving you.

1:07:36 Force yourself to get out of it into that dreaming state where you’re not reaction anymore, based on your life, on the past, in the history, and go into that dream future. Again, you just bought a Tesla. Elon had to dream about an electric car or his own space program at some point, and that’s how it happened, right? So every great thing starts that way, bro. And by the way, this is not a like poofy book.

1:07:58 Like, this is a thought that I’m giving. It’s a concept. Most of the books strategic. It’s not lights, but this isn’t small. And yeah, you said the right word.

1:08:06 You gotta force yourself in the beginning, and then you won’t after a while, and then it’s reflexive. Then there’ll be triggers, like me hitting, like the, the door of this office, right here. When I hit that handle, it kind of triggers an imagination state, and when I walk in here for a few minutes, it’s sort of what I do. My good friends, just, you know, this morning I had everybody. Bro, I’m looking at this place in Florida.

1:08:25 Is this epic or what? And you know, like, just stuff, right? And this other friend of mine right now is in Mexico on a church mission, and it started like six years ago. He’s in the backyard, he goes, man, I’m the biggest sinner in the history of the world. Like, well, you better make up for all that crap and do something awesome.

1:08:40 Just teasing them, right? And I go, what could you do? He goes, well, I could probably start, like, doing mission work. That’s not something everybody does, and it’s six years later and he’s done like 30 of them. It just started as an imagination and a dream.

1:08:51 Wow. You know, it sounds like this whole thing is life is a battle with your own brain, right? You’re really trying to, to do that, right? You’re battling your own brain. And yes, you’re trying to lay out some technology here in this book to start to change that process, right?

1:09:07 To try to be aware, and try to, I guess, not program your brain, but allow yourself to better understand it, and then I guess program it in some way, or come to peace with it. Well, you’re already programmed, right? So you already have software operating in there, right? And the big thing you said is awareness. The only thing I’ll add to that, Brian, is that when something’s negative in your life, so I have a chapter on emotions, like one more emotion.

1:09:31 We have a, we have an emotional home in our lives. So that emotional home, it’s five or six emotions. It could be anger, depression, anxiety, worry. It could be ecstasy, joy, peace, passion. But you have them, and you find a way every week, no matter what the conditions are of your life, to get those emotions, and even if you don’t like them, you get them because they’re familiar, don’t you?

1:09:51 You ever know that friend who’s angry? Like, no matter what, they’re going to get their anger, right? You have that other friend, there’s peace. Like, they find a way to get peace. So here’s the hook: when something doesn’t serve you, your awareness about it loses its power over you.

1:10:04 I’ll give you one example. I’ve got a lot of emotions. I like one, I don’t, is chaos. I don’t like chaos, but I get a ton of it, because I grew up in it. So it’s one thing that was programmed in me as a kid.

1:10:15 Chaotic dad, which dad’s coming through the front door, drunk or sober. Dad goes to a restaurant. My dad’s probably gonna get in a fight with the waiter, right? Like, chaos all the time in my life. I woke up at about 45 years old.

1:10:25 I’m like, I have a lot of peace. I have a lot of happiness, but I got this chaos thing. I keep freaking doing no matter what’s going on in my life. I gotta make more chaos, and just be my awareness of it. I’m like, I’m doing this again.

1:10:36 Here I go, I’m doing the chaos thing again, and it kind of is almost like a comedy skit with myself, and I’m like, you dumbass, here you go again, and it loses its power over me. So self-awareness is a huge thing in life, to be aware of oneself, of our strengths, our frailties, our weaknesses, and maybe most importantly, our patterns. And one of my patterns was chaos, and so just us having that awareness, know that we’re going to go ahead and fill those cups anyways.

1:11:05 Being aware, okay, guess what, you’re going to do these anyways, and no matter what circumstance you’re in, whether you’re on holiday or with your family or doing this or doing that, your business is good, your business is bad, until you find out what the thing is you’re trying to fill up, and say, okay, guess what, I’m not going to allow myself to go to that chaos this week. That’s exactly how I do it. Potential about that. Look, and I know you, you’re, you’ve got tons of other shows you’re going on.

1:11:30 You’re, you’re talking a lot about this, if there’s any one last one in here that you want to give us, as a little bit of a taste. And also just some final thoughts on, on the book. People, you know, next steps, awareness, and if people also have been piqued a little bit of interest here, like how they can just continue going with this vibe? Yeah, well, my one more thought would be this, and I don’t, I want to say this in the most non-corny way that I can.

1:11:59 I believe you were born to do something great with your life. And I think maybe you’ve forgotten, and I’m here to remind you today that you, yeah, you were born to do something great with your life. And greatness doesn’t mean you’re worth hundreds of millions of dollars, although it can greatness means this, that you have a vision and imagination and a dream for your life, and your life ends up replicating it. You’re successful, you’re happy. I have a sister who’s at least as successful as I am, at least.

1:12:29 And she’s blind. My middle sister, Andrea, is blind. She was born with diabetes type one, and over time she lost her vision. She can’t drive. She sees some shadows, but she can’t drive anymore, and she’s a school teacher at a Christian private school.

1:12:45 I think she makes 38,000 a year. And she’s mega successful, because her dream and her blueprint for her life was to do exactly what she does every day, and it takes advantage of her gifts. Show me someone taking advantage of their natural giftedness in the service of other people, I’m showing you someone successful. And so my sister’s gifts are, she’s kind, she’s patient, she’s gentle, she’s an incredible nurturer and teacher. She’s only four foot eleven, so she’s the same height as her students, so she can connect with them.

1:13:19 And my beautiful sister every day lives an extraordinarily successful life, because that’s her dream, and she does it. And so you were also born to do something great with your life. Invest in time and give yourself the gift of imagining and dreaming what you want it to look like, and then go to work and using the tools that I have in the book to produce it, and that will be happiness and success for you. And in terms of the book itself, you can get it anywhere books are sold, but there’s a website too that I have, called the powerofonemore.com.

1:13:49 There’s like some extra tools and strategies that I didn’t put in the book that could probably help you out. And I just want to remind you that you’re supposed to help human beings in your way, with your experience, with your screw-ups, with your mess, your message, your message, and I know you’ve heard all these things before, but the test you’re going through will eventually be a testimony for you if you prevail, and I believe you’re supposed to prevail in your life, because you were born to do something great. Man, man, maybe this is your greatest moment at this point, Ed.

1:14:21 You know, because again you put all of these amazing ideas with people that you and I both have had conversations with over the last 10 or 20 years, but you put them through with a bit of an Ed hardcore, let’s take action right now, brother, you know, let’s go attitude. So you kind of give it that old grandpa push, when sometimes it comes from a real kind of, you know, a kind of, a, a grandma, let’s make you some cookies message. Right? So you wrap it up, and that’s kind of what it needs right now, right?

1:14:52 People need to, to really get it from them, from a bit of a shake and a bit of a hay, but also give them all the pieces that they need. Is that what the world needs right now? Is that what you’re writing? Well, you, well, yeah, I wrote it for this reason, man. My dad died last year.

1:15:07 I’ll just finish with this. I held his hand when he took his last breath, and I was literally holding his hand. There’s a, my sister took a picture of it. and right before my dad passed away, about 20 minutes before he passed away, he woke up and struggling to breathe, and he looks over at me. His eyes are real big.

1:15:25 He goes, I’m so proud of you. I can’t believe God gave you to me as my son, and I love you. It’s the last things my dad said to me. My favorite thing to do in my life is to play golf with my dad. Neither one of us are great golfers, but it was five hours with my best friend.

1:15:50 You know, the power of one more, man. When I take it from you, you won’t know how powerful having one more is. It’s when its absence is no longer available to you. Do you know what I would give for one more round of golf with my dad? Do you know what I would give for one more talk with my dad?

1:16:08 If you’re listening to this right now, what if I told you you only get one more conversation with your children? How much more precious is that one more become? What if I told you you only get one more dance with your sweetie pie, with your sweetheart? What if I told you this was the last podcast or your last meeting? What if you started to treat things in your life like you only have one more of them, and all of a sudden your whole universe will change.

1:16:33 How lucky and blessed you are to be alive, how blessed you are to have one more. The other thing that occurs to you, man, when your father dies and you’re basically your arms is that you’re next, and that’s why I wrote the book. I don’t know if I have five years, 55 years or five minutes left in my life, but I’m gonna die also, and so is everybody else listening to this. Napoleon Hill says begin with your goals with the end in mind. What if you just started to begin with the end of your life in mind and worked your way back?

1:17:01 And in those last moments of your life, when you have one more day, one more hour, one more breath, who do you want to become? What do you want to have given? What memories do you want to have? What do you wanted to contribute? And I think if you begin to realize how precious having that one more opportunity in your life is, maybe you still get to talk to your dad or mom.

1:17:22 Call them. Maybe you are going to have another chance to see your children today, or your wife, or your husband, or your boyfriend. Max it out, because you don’t know how many more you have. And in my case, man, I’m really blessed that I don’t get to have one more with my dad, and some of you don’t either, but I get to honor him with who I become the rest of my life. And so if you’ve lost someone, honor them with your life and who you become.

1:17:46 That’s probably my final thought on the one mores. Ed, that’s, uh, powerful stuff. It’s probably one of the most powerful conversation sessions I had in probably a year at this point. So, uh, yeah, uh, I shouldn’t be surprised. Um, but, uh, but I am.

1:18:02 This is amazing, uh, and amazing vibrations, amazing energy. And, um, yeah, I just wanna say I appreciate you putting this out there. This obviously took a lot of thought, a lot of preparation, and you’re really putting it out there, because I know you want to change one more person. You know, I think that’s what it’s about, and that one more changes the rest. I mean, you see, like a contribution to humanity and the collective energy.

1:18:24 It feels like what you’re doing here, and I just want to say thank you. I see you all the time by your example, your energy, and now to get another book on top of that. It feels like a super blessing in disguise. So yeah, wishing you all the best. We’ll have a link to the book down there.

1:18:41 Follow you on Instagram is the best for social media. What’s the best place? Probably Instagram, I’d say Instagram. Yeah, let’s go there. Ed’s Instagram game is super strong.

1:18:49 You can see all the stuff he’s doing behind the scenes, and again I’d say follow him, because watch that and read the book, and then you’ll start to understand because you see a guy that’s living a life and also getting things done and contributing, and honestly those are two incredible parallels, Ed, because I’ve gotten to know you. I watch you and I see this action, and now I see how you’re able to do it, so it’s real, and it’s, it’s, it’s it’s what we like to talk about here as well, doing that massive contribution. I gotta, I’ll finish.

1:19:21 I got a thing on my wall back here that says, you know, our mission is to create a mass scale transformation of humanity into a fully empowered, conscious and cooperative species. That’s what we’re trying to do here. Everything we do here is trying to do that one mission, and, and, uh, it’s, it’s nice to feel like, like we’re contributing to something, and that’s what it feels like you’re doing, Ed. So, uh, thank you, brother. I appreciate you.

1:19:44 I, I love what I’ve already read, and I’m gonna now go read more of this book, and, um, I can’t wait. Uh, so congratulations for getting this done. I know that’s a hard process and a difficult process to write a book. They say it’s the loneliest process out there, right? I think you’re right.

1:20:00 And by the way, I just think you’re a remarkable man, and, uh, if I’m coming to London or you’re coming to New England, let’s, let’s do this, let’s make sure we get together and have a bite or a cigar or something together. Definitely. All right, we’re gonna connect, uh, and I’ll send you a DM. We do that. Definitely would love to see you here in London.

1:20:15 Sounds like I’m gonna be in Boston a lot more, and, uh, and so we’re gonna make that happen. So a big love, appreciate you so much, Ed. Uh, congratulations on the book, and, uh, lots of success and love to you. Uh, for everybody out there, check this out, follow this man on Instagram. It’s incredible to see what’s happening and, uh, again it’s all about one more.

1:20:33 So thank you, brother. Big love to you. Thank you, thank you all. Love thanks everybody. We’ll see you next time on London Real.

1:20:38 Take care.