Full transcript: Arthur Rutledge on London Real
0:15 Merry Christmas and welcome to London Real. My name is Brian Rose. With me, as usual, is Mr. Nick Gabriel and joining us in studio today is Mr. Arthur Rutledge. Arthur, welcome.
0:25 Hello. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Good to have you here. First, I want to, of course, say thanks to our sponsors at Onnit Labs. They are the makers of Alpha Brain and Arthur’s just taken some and you can tell.
0:37 It’s a new tropic, which helps the synapses fire a little bit better. And they’ve also now introduced something called New Mood, which is an L-Tryptophane, what is it, L-Tryptophane something or other that kind of gets this calming kind of new mood thing. Never tried that one, yeah. Yeah, we’ll have to get you some of that stuff. So if you go to onit.com and use the codename London Real, you’ll get 10% off any of your alpha brain purchases or New Mood, and it’s all good.
1:05 It’s very good stuff. So, with no further ado, who’s this guy in my house, Nick? It’s hard for me to answer the question, because I don’t actually know this guy. You’re the first guest. I was just walking down the street, and somebody said, come in, send me an email.
1:20 So, Brian and I had a rule when we started London Real, which was that we’d both have to have met the guest. Yeah, yeah. And then that kind of, that was kind of impractical, so then we changed it to, at least one of us had to have met them. Yeah. And now it’s, we’re at the point where we’re trying something new, and neither of us know you, Arthur, so.
1:35 Spontaneity is the key right I think we found it better with Nick and I when we hadn’t met the guest because then you actually have those new conversations that we would have had in a coffee shop and we never recorded so it’s like whoa who’s this guy and no one’s tried to you know hijack the show or give your questions do it man what’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life live life to the fullest don’t don’t stop don’t limit yourself with what people are telling you that you should be you should just be the person that you are really a great book that I read a few months ago called the tipping point it gave me a clear indication of three archetype individuals that make the world go around and I identify myself as the connector in that particular situation. It’s eye-opening. You can’t not know exactly where you stand in life because you could just tumble your way through it without anyone stopping you.
2:53 You’re at the buff. No, I’ve heard of it. What are the other archetypes? You’re a connector. They have the salesmen or the salesperson, and then the maven, which usually is identified in it as knowing, like having not useless information, but information that’s pertinent to whoever knows that person, and they can utilize it in a way like knowing what cafe is in Budapest or because they’ve been there or that’s really good or the restaurant that’s great.
3:31 And I have a bit of that as well, just because of my travels in a way that I take in information, locations, in my own unique way. But these people are usually the information center. That’s how they’re identified. That’s amazing. And you’re a connector.
3:50 They’re a connector. So what does it connect to? It’s more or less beats the sixth degree, the idea of the sixth degree is the separation. Okay. That person can reach out to someone in London,
4:08 Like I’m here with you guys right now, by way of my friend, Tom, and that’s how we met, to, if I know someone who wants to have a new, or buy a new car or plan a destination and they don’t know anybody in that area, I can connect them to that. Rather than them just going on Facebook. Well obviously, you know, when you talk about social networking, it kind of does it for you as well, but it only helps me that much more. So, I- They were still connectors before there was Facebook basically.
4:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and but they use though, they use an interesting person. They were talking about Paul Revere. when they were referring to The Connector, how he was in so many auxiliaries before the revolution, that he had a following, so to speak. And people depended on him and understood what he was about because he had this innate way about him that drew people to him. Wow.
5:17 And for that reason, I mean, not everybody has that. Capability to make anybody feel comfortable and different situations are bond with people to with little to know exertion to themselves and And because he had that type of thing when people when when he was telling people and storming the countryside saying You know the French are coming the British your British tired the British are coming that you know, he had He had the power for people to listen. It’s like social influence, basically.
5:51 Yeah. That’s interesting. Do you think that the role of a connector is less important today when you have things like Facebook and LinkedIn and you can Google, or do you think it’s more important? I think, I mean, it’s the irony of technology. It definitely makes it easier, in a way, to reach out to people across the world.
6:10 We’re not Britain, really, anymore. not New York or America, we’re not Canada. We’re more global than we have ever been before because of social networks. But we also have to know that the irony in that is that sometimes it doesn’t slow us down. And sometimes we need things to keep us… What’s the word?
6:42 You lose the intimacy of knowing people really one-on-one versus by a computer, by things you can accumulate fast. My mother raised me, my only child, in Detroit. One of the things she always said, you know, you have to understand that a lot of things do take patience. If you get it right away, you take it for granted. So I think people can very easily take each other for granted in the same way.
7:12 Facebook when it’s like someone becomes your friend, they’re not really your friend. They’re not really your friend. They just have them on there. I mean, I’m one of those guys, almost 5,000 people in one of them. And I try to reach out to just one and send a light message, A, come out to an event or, or hello, how is your day?
7:32 Or what are you about? I saw you had an interesting quote from your, what you’re all about and your info. and you get no response. Yeah, it’s not always the case though. Sometimes, I mean, I’m sure, I don’t know about you, but I’ve formed some friendships like over the internet through Facebook and stuff like that.
7:52 You have, right? Yeah, I’m sure you don’t understand. Yeah, I have two, I must say. I mean, it’s always backed up with in-person type of stuff. You know, I mean, and it’s a decision that Nick and I made in the beginning.
8:00 We weren’t gonna do any Skype conversations because, you know, you gotta be in the room. You gotta be feeling people and looking at them in the eye. That’s why I’m not on a beach in Thailand for Christmas. Thanks, Brian. I think the human mind going back to the caveman days is that you can only really fit about 150 people in your brain that you can actually know and know their look and enough to restart a conversation.
8:23 It’s like the limit of the tribal… Yeah, it’s like that’s as big as your clan could kind of get before you wouldn’t know them. And so this whole thing with Facebook, you got 5,000 friends or you have over a thousand and it’s just like… Yeah, but I mean, it’s like such a pointless, it’s a meaningless figure. I mean, it’s great.
8:38 I mean, things like that, we all know that Facebook’s origins were to introduce or make networking fun for college and high school students, so to speak, more college, I guess, than anything else. And it kind of exploded from there because it was such a fun concept for everybody to feel involved without taking away that personal side. They wanted to kind of take her away, so it made it like a little bit more intriguing not being for a person. You could be anybody you wanted to be.
9:13 You see on a lot of people that have not, it’s not their picture on Facebook. You know, now that you look on their profile, you’re like, wow, she’s smoking, or. Or like severely disappointed. Yeah, exactly. Man, can we, I’m interested because I guess our listeners don’t know what you do and I think it’s quite pertinent to our conversation. It’s my understanding that you’re a nightclub promoter in New York City, is that correct?
9:43 Well that’s one of my many facets. Foremost I’m more of a hospitality concierge so to speak. I do events and I plan kind of different events but I have promotions as pretty much my face-to-face card like you know it’s my calling card for people because obviously everybody meets everybody in some type of way shape or form and a lounge in a bar and a club and a restaurant it is the associate is the social media of without the media side of it you know which helped it helps quite a bit because I’m a personal person I knew that dude who goes to the front of the line at every single party with like two chicks on his arm.
10:32 Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it’s so funny because I invite so many beautiful women to the parties. Usually when I actually go out, I usually roll with my boys. I don’t, yeah.
10:47 I’m not that person that likes that side of just having women around me all the time And it’s kind of strange to say, at this point, when I, it’s made me a little bit of a different person to just see people in a, some people would say not a true or like, but I would say in a true or like, because my business partner, Nico, he always, he’s Italian and he always says in vino vera, in vera, in vera tos. In wine there’s truth. In wine there’s truth. And when you think about it, the most, even if the person is very pretentious by the time you get them to a point of inebriation, they really are, you either decide whether you can deal with them or you can’t.
11:42 And some people you don’t wanna know that side of, but it’s so hard to get the truth out of people sometimes. Everybody is putting on a mask whether they’re on Facebook or whether they’re right in front of you. Everyone’s putting on a mask all the time, everywhere. Yeah, we all have masks. We all have different, different outlooks of life.
12:01 Man, we’re all wearing one right now. I mean, it’s impossible to very, I don’t know if it’s at all possible to reveal the true you to anyone. We have different masks for different people as well. Like when you’re around family, you put something on. When you’re around a new chick, you put something on.
12:17 When you’re around your boys, maybe you take it off, but I guess you always have something on. And I mean, you must, I guess, you know, you see this, right? You live, breathe and eat it. What’s the thing you love about your job and what’s the thing you hate about your job? That’s the, that is the question.
12:35 You must get laid like a rock star. I can just see it, man.
12:41 It’s not bad. It’s not bad. It is. It is.
12:47 I’ve changed so much as a person. I actually got into the side of business as a model, I was traveling internationally, doing that, and because I have such a way with people, and a great intuition of people as well. Would you say it’s mostly intuition, or did you have to learn any of this? No, no, it’s a lot of intuition. I always, I’m a spiritual person, born and raised, Baptist, Christian, And I remember always having a prayer for wisdom and patience and strength and guidance and all these things.
13:31 And it helps me to keep my mind situated in situations where I’m always out and about like that because it can’t consume you. But to go back to your question, I guess the best thing about my job is just meeting so many great individuals. I mean, regardless if they’re a little nutty or a little crazy, I’m the one of those people that kind of take the bitter with the sweet. So getting to know people in that way, if I feel like they’re genuine in their intent, whether they’re a little bit obnoxious or very sweet, I could take it in, evaluate it in a way that works for me and then kind of make them either feel more comfortable or at least make them at least at ease a bit.
14:19 And it keeps people coming back out, obviously, but it’s just the nature of how I am. I don’t try to overthink how people are gonna be or where they’re gonna go or what they should do. I don’t dictate to people. I just try to help them in a lighter way to have a great experience when they’re out with me. So that’s the plus.
14:44 And then the negative is that it does get a little lonely sometimes because people do take you for granted. I mean, I think in probably every business you have it, but it’s very relevant to, this thing is very relevant to how I am with people. With people they I get them in the free I get them free liquor I get them You know to enter I introduced them girls to guys guys the guys Girls to girls to make whatever relationship at the end of the night that they so choose and either When I need them to come out or if they if if it’s something special going on and I need the numbers to come out Maybe they’re not around or Once I show them these people and they get their own little click from if they’re moved from somewhere else They pretty much forget who I am. They don’t keep in contact I’m a buff in a random people are so fickle in any service I mean, you know you train a lot of guys and you must have good relationship with some and some you just feel like It’s just a job Just some extent. Yeah, but it’s even like above they’re not even like my clients just friends So just see, man, it’s been on my mind a lot lately.
16:13 We spoke about it earlier, like these two friends of mine, it’s just the one dude’s got a girlfriend and that’s it. That’s the end of it. We haven’t spoken to him for like five weeks now or something like that. You know, that’s just the end of it. And then you start to think like, man, I wonder what would happen if I rarely needed the cat.
16:31 You know what I’m saying? So I hear where you’re coming from with that, Arthur. It’s interesting that your business is being social, you know, and then so that’s hard because it’s being social is how we communicate as humans. But for you, it’s a job. So I can see how that kind of can mess with your head a little bit.
16:47 Yeah, it is, it doesn’t lend itself to more than just what it is in the club. And also, it goes even further than that because people that usually have hard times identifying with who they are as a person and what they look in the mirror, when they wake up and look in the mirror, it echoes out when they go out to wherever they go, whatever their social habits are. And especially a club, obviously, my job is less than, in their eyes, is less than their job because they do it in a more traditional type way, a nine to five, or et cetera, et cetera, with how they live their life.
17:34 Their life and they feel like, well, my life is fake or not real or less genuine in content than theirs. Interesting. And it’s funny. You’ve got lawyers and bankers and stuff who kind of are cool with you, but at the end of the day, you know, they’re thinking, well, is this guy going to get a real job? Obviously at the same time, again, is you have to be pretty understanding of the person you are.
18:01 That if you are a person that’s realistic to yourself about how you are in life, because obviously these people put themselves on pedestals anyway. There’s no way to me. What do you mean like the bankers and the lawyers and the socialites? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, well, I mean, anywhere.
18:17 I mean, I think it’s everywhere. You always have a certain type of people that can put themselves higher than, you know, as a person to boost themselves even, and it’s usually the reverse. The higher you put yourself, usually it’s the reverse, it’s usually philosophically the person is down, depressed. A ready swap guy once said to me, a rich man doesn’t have to say he’s rich. But most of them do, and they repeat it.
18:49 You’re in Manhattan. I mean, I lived in Manhattan for almost four years, and it’s a pretty intense place. I’ll be very honest, I couldn’t live there. I just couldn’t I know you didn’t which was which is interesting But I mean I was I went there for a wedding about two years ago And I landed stayed in a hotel in Soho and I got up the next morning to go train and I went into this gym It was I was crunch or something. So man, it’s just like it was like a hundred alpha people in there The girls were just cranking it out They were just like crazy bodies the dudes were all like in sick shape and I was like man These people are bringing their whole game to a really high level level something that I really don’t see in London even very often and so I mean you know you’re promoting that some of the top clubs in Manhattan so you must see that kind of like yeah that yeah that it’s a weird phenomenon that happened started happening about little over six years ago the concept of brunch parties yeah I saw that on your Facebook and I was like what’s a brunch party yeah Yeah, yeah, so it’s kind of an Italian or French concept because people could come out a little bit earlier, not just to eat, but to have like a soiree in the daytime.
20:02 And it turns into this massive push of guys spinning over the top amounts of money, buying magnabiles of champagne during the day girls and dancing on top of the tables on a Sunday on a Saturday and a Sunday usually it’s like a weekend thing there’s a couple of parties that have really built a lot of money from that I mean the the some of the best ones it’s only like two two or three ones that have been really branded that’s really really crazy that way they probably make between I don’t know 50 to a hundred grand between the hours of two to eight it’s crazy I mean if you can imagine people getting that wasted that early and obviously you don’t really have time to eat I mean you can make reservation to eat and you can sit down but if you get there like hour into it it’s already pandemonium and what do you do you don’t just you can’t just sit there And the music, just blasting in your ears and you’re just like, okay, I might as well get up and dance.
21:13 Let me have a glass of champagne too, or a mimosa or whatever they have a special on at the time. So yeah. So that’s like a huge phenomenon that’s going on. But people just in New York, it’s very weird just living the lifestyle of being a New Yorker, especially from the perspective of doing promotions and things of that nature. What’s the line in that song?
21:42 Live in Northern California once but leave before it makes you soft and live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard. It has made me, I guess it has made me a harder person but I think from all the things that living in New York has made me a lot, I would say, stronger than exactly. Not so hard. It hasn’t hardened my heart. I haven’t let it get to that point. Again, like I said, a lot of prayer for me, which guides me a lot in meditation and things like that, kind to keep me more civil than most, but I’ve seen people, you know, conform to the dark side.
22:32 How do you deal with, what is your opinion on, I mean, you’re from Detroit, right? It’s my understanding that’s one of the most impoverished cities in the United States. How do you reconcile this huge amount of excess that you see at these lavish parties in New York City with the fact that there’s people where you came from living in ghettos and who have next to them. How do you deal with that? Well, that’s a big, that’s a, I mean, but that’s a huge misconception.
23:01 A lot of people have a concept of places like Detroit and big city. I mean, all of us went through the same recession. In fact, Detroit, before this recession, had literally won the top five strongest social and economies for our area, because of course the automotive industry, great corporations like Compuware come in and there’s a lot of lawyers, a lot of doctors based in the suburbs of Detroit, which kind of make up Detroit as well, Oakland County, things like that.
23:38 You can kind of look up historically and of course you do have your hoods, but I mean also in London as well as New York and the interesting part is you do have a poor side from everything that’s been going on, but Detroiters are so resilient. We’ve had a lot of turmoil in our history. A few a couple of riots like in the 60s. It was pretty bad. I mean, but LA’s had his riots, you know, you know, Europe is much so much older. Yeah, Europe is so much older than America. So you guys in your past have had you know, ups and downs of riots, wherever it is.
24:37 And that’s the way I kind of look at it. I think that everybody in some way, shape, or form have to go through their metamorphosis, whether it’s the person itself or the land. We all have to go through the parts. And it makes us wiser at the end of it. I had a better understanding living in Detroit, moving to New York.
25:08 I don’t know if I would have got the reverse. It gave me a lot of base being in Detroit. I tell people all the time that because I’m a very likeable laid back person, because I’m from Detroit rather than saying I’m from somewhere else in the Midwest or something like that. just because my mind had been opened from all the great music that came out of there. And I find that music is one of the greatest things that could have ever happened to us.
25:42 Obviously, it’s like religion, music. People follow it without feeling judged or persecuted or pushed in the wrong way. I mean, it brings out a stronger sense of themselves and the eclectic side of the music that I had available to me growing up, from everything from Deep House to Techno. I wasn’t just listening to hip-hop and R&B at that time. I’m more of a soul guy. If it goes to Stevie Wonder, to Hall & Oates, to … Yeah, I love them. Billy Joel, I mean, I listen to it all. People are usually pretty surprised that- I’ve never heard anyone talk about music that way.
26:25 Yeah, Marvin Gaye. I mean, it just goes on and on. You listen to these things and you just sit there and it’s so profound the way that some of these songs touch you. It makes you stop thinking about just yourself. You can’t be selfish. You can be selfish in the way you take it in, but the reaction to it when you turn around and you see a person next to you that likes the same music is so profound, it kind of wills you to change as a person versus just being in your own little world.
26:59 You know, when you’re at a concert, like I remember my, you said it makes you not feel selfish and feel connected. One of the best experiences in that kind of aspect of my life I’ve ever had was at this rave once and there’s this, these couple of DJs, famous DJs playing and this one track came on and the whole crowd, like when the breakdown happened, the whole crowd started singing the chorus of the breakdown and like, it was that moment where it’s just like, this is to me the complete opposite of war, do you know what I mean? It’s like literally on the other end of the spectrum.
27:36 So yeah, I get what you say, it’s cool. Yeah, war and peace, right? But now it should be called war and music, right? That’s powerful, huh? I think the music that affected me the most was just really strange, but it was for me listening to Ice-T as some gangster rap, okay?
27:51 I’m a white boy from the suburbs, but like I was so angry as a kid, I think a lot of young men are angry. And I was just angry and like listening to Ice-T vent his anger in the original gangster, my favorite album in 91. I would just, I just loved it so much because he was angry and it allowed me to be angry and maybe get it out in a little bit of a way, which is, it’s just weird, but. The power of music, really. And I mean, I guess it was positive in the end, but really powerful.
28:17 Yeah. And for me, the anger venting was Rage Against the Machine. Remember that one song was like, fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me and I was playing in my room one day and my dad came by saying, he’s like, what is this music? You know, he freaked out. It was funny.
28:32 Yeah. What’s another song? I forget who’s saying that I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m not going to take it. Oh yeah.
28:38 Yeah. We’re not going to take it. I can’t remember who that was. I don’t know who that was. It was cool.
28:44 Yeah. But it’s supposed to, it’s supposed to bring that rise out of you, right? I mean, it’s quite emotional. I mean, it can bring you to war as well, right? Yeah, I guess so.
28:53 You know, it could, yeah, if you’re saying, I mean, Iced Tea and what’s another easy E and all the, you know, the beginning of the West Coast gangster type of rap, I mean, there’s a lot of oppression that black Americans have held back so long and the beginning of rap was a voice for not just the anger side, but the fun side, how we could sit back from our anger and kind of laugh about it at the same time. So you find this weird type of middle way, either you find the music was very light and happy or fun-going, met a girl around the way and hey, we had fun or to shoot them or what’s the police or whatever. and you’re going off at that type of way, so yeah.
29:49 Do you make music, or do you have an involvement? I grew up, yeah, I grew up as a professional dancer, till about the age of 22, before I moved to New York. What kind of dancer, I mean. And I did choreography, too. A lot of, like, what they call pop, hip-hop sort of things, you know, things that you see, rest in peace, heavy D, doing, you had the dancers behind them, Puff Daddy actually started out like that as well as a dancer, you know, I believe it was between, I can’t think his name, Big Daddy Kane or something like that, I forget, but yeah, a lot of people that start off in that genre, it was a way for them to kind of get in the mix and go to, you could take it to another level where you kind of just still do dance.
30:49 But I also later on started getting into Mambo Salsa, Merengue Machata, you know, I love good Latin tunes as well, Mark Anthony’s my favorite singer. Mark Anthony’s my favorite singer on that side of things, you know, I listened to a lot of of him and so yeah and the girls go crazy over it as well right if there’s one skill you want to have as a dude I think is to dance so many guys don’t and all the girls want to dance well you either should have a nice voice or you should be able to at least have a nice step to you what about if you don’t have either of those things but you’ve got huge guns yeah yeah I think that that’s the that’s the median I think that’s the permit you got it that’s it Brian’s got it. That’s all I have.
31:32 That’s all you got. I took salsa lessons when I lived in Chicago, and I found it really interesting, but I couldn’t get out there and dance. It’s complicated. I’ve always thought salsa, like, I’m sure I’m amazed by the way they’re moving everything, but I just find it so cheesy, bro. Really?
31:47 The whole thing, dude. I like dancing, and I like when someone displays good rhythm, it’s like, it’s a really attractive and sexy quality, but salsa, I don’t know, it’s just not my thing, dude, no, I don’t know. We should get you some professionals. No, I mean. I don’t know.
32:00 Somebody told me a long time ago, if you’re a connoisseur and you tell somebody, say, you like opera, for example, you go in and either you love it and it kind of just stays with you, or you go for social means, but you don’t identify with it. You kind of can find out. Even if you’re stumbling around and you’re going through lessons until you get it, you’ll know after the first couple of lessons where you can kind of get into it, but you actually have to get in it for you guys.
32:41 There’s no win or lose if you don’t get in the ring, right? But it’s very interesting how it can appeal to you. I think a friend of mine kind of invited me to a salsa party one time in Detroit. And then I met this guy named Carlos, I never forget this guy. This guy was the mambo king, you know, and military, ex-military, well, I guess he was on call sometimes but I think he was with the sales and you’re such a likeable person just great smile just energy right there when you meet him you know and he was there to help you if you need it he might not even know you from Adam but you know he would he say yeah I can see you’re a good guy I’m gonna help you out and he was a photographer He had a lot of different things going on and he said yeah I’m gonna show you you know like this and that met him the first time I was out because it captivated me just seeing how this guy was just Rolling this woman on the floor. It’s powerful. Oh You’re just sitting there Mesmerized and you know, he’s like having his way with her and you just and obviously are you laughing?
34:01 You’re like, yeah, I want to be that beast. I want to like control a woman like that. It’s a primal thing because the guy has to lead. And I remember being in classes and the woman is telling these females that were like working in the city. They’re like, you can’t lead.
34:18 The guy has to lead. And they’re like, fuck, I’m not used to this. And so it is quite primal. So you seem like the guy can do pretty much everything more. You can sing and dance.
34:28 Well, I wish I’m saying I used to kissing. Exquire. Exquire. Now I’m terrible. Give me a karaoke, which I love. So I wanted to ask, is there anything you struggle with?
34:47 Interesting enough, the things that I struggle with are more situations in life that I have no control over, which I shouldn’t. No, no person. Most of the things in life people think they’re in control of. They’re not. And they’re not. We’re not even in control of our own bodies. You see a hot girl walking down the street. You have an erection. You know, you’re like, what happened? You might can calm it down, but I mean, the case is there. You know, you can’t beat chemistry. Walking around with a boner, but it does It does affect you.
35:25 I hate that. You see a hot girl on the street and you have to look and you’re like, yeah, it is out of your control. I mean, I think of symmetries and dead people. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you think of a passing of a path or this and that emotion comes over you.
35:39 I mean, you listen to music like we’re talking about, it gives on emotion. It’s so much that we’re not control of and, and, and I, my understanding of me as as a person, I tried, I’m just a really deep thinker. I’m always thinking, I don’t know, somebody told me it was a Sagittarius thing, I don’t know, I know a lot of a few Sagittarius guys, my birthday just passed and I know that I really think too much about things that are not my power and maybe in my own way, I’m just trying to figure it out like a jigsaw puzzle or something like that.
36:16 It’s about letting go though, right? That’s probably the most difficult thing in life to do is just to let go and just trust the universe and just say, look, I’m here, I’m here for the ride, but it’s fucking difficult to do that. Very, very, very to accept. I think the acceptance of things is something that if humans could conquer that side of it, we would evolve to the next mental and spiritual cycle of our lives. I think it does hold us back that much. So there’s a lot of things. For example, I’ve been in New York for quite a while now. How long? Ten years. Wow, that’s a long time. Ten years. It happened like a blink of an eye because everything moves so fast there. And I was just planning, okay I’m gonna do this model career and I’m gonna give it five six years and at that point by time my life went by from traveling and and in doing it up big by time I came to a point where I was I just I made a clear decision that I didn’t want to focus on just this anymore I had to come I wanted I came to that crossroad, okay, what’s next?
37:40 Books like The Tipping Point, The Culture Code, and all these other things. Because I’m essentially more, since I’m that public relations type guy, I think of things on how I can brand what I’m about in a conscious way, in a way that can be interesting enough where people, I can still kind of be around people in a way and everything like that. Promotions is semi-temporary, I wish I could have. Where do you wanna be in five years’ time? I think I wanna be back in Europe.
38:18 I had an amazing time, Italy was amazing, Sweden is always great, Germany was fun, Spain was fun. I’m gonna see how much fun I’m having in London, I’ll get back to you guys to continue. I wanted to ask you, what do you think, because you’re obviously from the States and you’ve been living here for a long time, what do you find are some of the biggest differences that you’ve noticed between USA and living here in Europe? Yeah, I was about to ask you that same thing.
38:47 Well, London and New York are just night and day for me. I find, I call London a suburb because compared to Manhattan, it’s just so much more relaxed, it’s so much more spread out. You don’t get the, I don’t feel the concentration of all the, not the crazy people, But you know, they really intense, you know, top of the one percenters, I guess you could call them. I don’t feel it as much in London and maybe the English have this kind of a self-deprecating thing which and I found professionally I had much more success in London than I ever did in New York, which is weird.
39:17 But otherwise, I think I’ve lived here too long to notice the differences. I don’t know. What do you find? For New York? New York to Europe or those countries you just mentioned?
39:27 Or here? I mean, I think, like I said, like I mentioned before, Europe is so much older. I mean, when you’re talking about the difference of 3,000 or 2,000 or whoever, you know, versus 300 of America’s existence is so profound.
39:51 You can’t, you have obviously a lot of intelligence and wisdom, Even in the idiocracy that happens, like everywhere, the same idiocracies happen, but I think you guys handle it in a different way. Like you said, you could be here and there’s a lot more laid back. It reminds me of being in places that are calmer in America versus just another big city. New York is just that place. I mean, Tokyo is the same.
40:22 I mean, you have these places that are just so busy, It’s so overwhelming every minute of the day. When I got up the subway for the first time at Times Square, it was overwhelming. Too much. Yeah, it was too much. I was just like…
40:39 Well, most Native New Yorkers don’t even walk through Times Square. They try to avoid it. They try to walk around the surrounding of it. Yeah, it’s like a theme park these days. Yeah, I mean…
40:48 20 years ago, that was like prostitutes and drugs, right? Seriously? Yeah. Times Square is… Yeah, it’s flat iron…
40:56 Iron and Hell’s Kitchen. I mean, like when you think about all these places that are not club areas, even in fact, like Meatpacking District or Flatiron or whatever, you know, Chelsea Heights or whatever, you find the evolution of those areas. I stay in Harlem. Okay. You live there.
41:16 I live there. I’ve been there now for three and a half, four years about. And people, first thing they say is, wow is it as scary as it you know hurts a lot of danger and everything like that I think danger is one of those things like a lot of words that we use sometimes that are just pretty relevant you know uh you know you can’t say you know one place is more dangerous than another New York is right now one of the safest places in the living world and you attract that shit to yourself as well by how you like I mean it’s your demeanor if you walk you’re You’re all like, oh my God, people are gonna attack me.
41:51 Then people are gonna attack you. And if you’re just like- That’s a lot of that. You know what I mean? If you’re scared or if you’re not scared, I mean, if somebody decides they’re gonna attack you, I think the best thing to do in anything, and that’s even if you’re traveling and you don’t know a place, is just be secure in the fact that you have your wits about you. You know, common sense is the key.
42:13 You know, I don’t walk around with my eyes blindfolded. You know, I can’t, you know, You look around, you stay aware, but don’t bring attention to yourself, I think. But for Harlem, I mean, it’s so gentrified right now. Everything in New York has changed so much. I mean, you talked about 10 years ago, I was staying with a friend in Harlem to now.
42:36 I mean, I walk around, every nationality is staying up there right now. I was always pretty African-American and Spanish. And now you have Asian, you have white, You have all types of Europeans, and the price is starting to show with the Aries too. I remember you could get a flat three-bedroom for maybe $1,000 to maybe upward to maybe thirteen hundred dollars American or US and now to get even a loft or one bedroom you’re talking 14 and up 13 and up you know depending on where what part you sit in in Harlem from East to West you know so it’s everything is pretty relative when it comes to location and where you live and everything like that.
43:45 I was just curious about, I gotta ask, what male modeling was like? Because I mean, Nick is extremely good looking, but you’re right on that level. It was interesting. Modeling is modeling. I think people always perceive you by how- It seems like a hard job.
44:06 They totally size you up. People size you up by how you look. I think women have gone through it for so long. And I think when you’re a male model, you’re put in a woman’s world. Wow.
44:22 Explain that. Yeah. It’s weird, you know? Obviously it’s quite gratifying because you get your ego massaged quite a bit, obviously walking up to a girl saying I’m a model or you see yourself on a magazine cover or walking a runway and finish and you have small bits of those glory moments that come into play. But then it’s definitely a harder side sometimes in a very cold or extreme heat is you know you have these castings and you’re running around like crazy and no matter what success you have in modeling as a man, you are going to go through always 80% rejection.
45:15 Okay, at any casting? At any, I mean, in your business, over all the model career, yeah, yeah, it’s probably a little bit even higher for women, depending on though, like, I mean, obviously you get every job if you’re a super woman model. Yeah, yeah. The super, we don’t have super men models anymore. I mean like- And it’s strange you say, could you remind me of this dude called Tyson Beckford, he’s like the, you know, he is.
45:47 I guess, does he still struggle for jobs and stuff as well, or? No, no, no, he’s the man, he’s the man over in the States right now. It was right before 2000, right around the time I started, it was no more real, no models. I mean, super models. Yeah, exactly.
46:08 Mark Bergen and all these type of individuals that went on from there to do acting or things like that. Tyson, now he was in a TV show. He was in Zoolander as well, right? Yeah. One of his boys, one of the entourage.
46:28 I think, you know, that scene where it was… It was in a walk-off. It was a walk-off and he was kind of like in one of the guy’s corner. Was he with Hansel or was he with… Hansel.
46:37 Yeah. I love that quote. Yeah. Extremely ridiculously good looking. That was such a great one.
46:43 How accurate was that movie? Were you laughing? Yeah, because it was great. I mean, obviously it was a true exaggeration. Okay.
46:52 It wasn’t a lot of… of course, I mean, it’s made to, and Ben Seller is great, you know, he can, you know, make a, you know, comedy about anything. And that scene where they’re like spraying the petrol or whatever. And then the car blows up, you know. Yeah, I actually went out for that part.
47:13 I went out for, I was going to be one of the guys and it came down to me and the guy. No shit. Yeah, that’s a little unknown trivia. Can you done some acting or yeah yeah and I wasn’t interested in doing acting I didn’t want to be a cliche model turned actor I never had those I think that’s a hard gig but modeling’s a walk in the park compared to that I always think modeling’s hard because you get there and they don’t want to know about you or they don’t want to know your personality they just want you to get up there and look pretty and it just seems that after a while you might want to be like you know what about me or do you want to know me or is that just a misconception I mean well first of all when you get into a casting they sit you they you have your book with you and depending on if it’s and that’s a small mind and it’s of most casting people or designers or whatever so have you if they don’t see the exact thing that looks similar to what they kind of have on their their sketchboard or whatever on as far as what they want for that ad If they don’t see that in your book.
48:20 If they don’t see something that’s similar enough to kind of say, okay, I can see them in that, usually you won’t get the job. A lot of people don’t know that. A lot of people think you have to have the best book or the best look or the nicest clothes or not the nicest clothes. People kind of dress according to sometimes the costumes they go into so they can look more of the part. But if that director looks at it and it doesn’t click in their head, they don’t have the broad vision of putting that person with it.
48:53 Like for example, my first campaign in Milan was, I think it was the casting had an attendance of maybe 300 and so people. We didn’t know exactly what they were looking for, and as the list of people dwindled, it was down to me for the individuals, 500 individuals, but they were looking for 500 individuals. And I got the booking for this watch campaign for Bugari Watchers and things like this, a subsidiary of and when I saw the makeup of the type they wanted for the black guy it was what was the actor’s now name who used to be a model as well Tyrese Gibson who’s a singer, model, ex-model and actor. You know a lot of male models. I don’t know what to say. You know he played in the Fast and the Furious if you know and all the fun ones and really talented guy but they had his picture and they took a picture of me and kind of put it next to it and so so that’s pretty much what it comes down to it’s like does this fit the bill of what I’m looking for like on a initial split-second judgment if if yes cool if if no no and then that must be difficult for your ego dude like terrible yeah that must be tough a lot of I mean first of all is not a business that builds up your first it doesn’t build up your self-esteem but if you didn’t have self-esteem at all then that’s kind of turn it can turn a person it can turn dangerous for a person really you know because obviously if you’re 16 to 19 or 20 or whatever and you have an identity struggle struggle within you know and
50:49 Then you get turned down all the time then obviously you’re gonna get taken into drugs and all types of revelry and stupidity and that’s why you see those like gorgeous like 18 or 19 year old models they’re always hooking up with these slimy 55 year old photographers because their self-esteem is just so incredibly low you know and it’s easy I mean it’s easy to take advantage of that in that in that type of way these poor girls and hey don’t get it wrong guys too you get advanced on by the guys as well you know I mean like you get advance them by the girls that’s the question well yeah I think no yeah well you get a bit on the guys you mean the male models get advanced on by the guys yeah well the casting directors or the the bookers or whatever I mean it’s my friend brought it to my attention is it but it is true I mean I think the business is pretty much made up of gay men and Jewish women Wow yeah from the Booking and casting perspective. Okay, so you don’t watch yourself. Oh, I mean, it’s I mean I think is I don’t I can’t remember a guy saying he had a roof roof. He put in by His booker, but I’m sure in every shirt. Okay. Yeah, it places like New York and places that move really really fast I’m sure you know, it happens quite a bit. It didn’t happen to me. It didn’t happen to me that much thing out, but But I have some crazy stories, friends that I have.
52:22 You gotta tell us one of those, man. Wow. I mean, I remember my first booker, one of my first bookers, he definitely was in… I mean, all the bookers at my first agency were just over the top, and they would love to see the, they would call them the boys, and you know, can you put on some little skivvies and going out in the basketball court across the street and play basketball with each other. Okay, I’ve heard enough.
52:55 You should have a book like Ainsley Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, it’s called Modeling Confidential. Model Confidential. They expose it. But I mean, people in the business, it’s normal, and obviously it’s shocking to people who are not in that side of it. What I mean is interesting enough, but it’s ample women.
53:19 The women there are abundant. Because you’re a model of the female models, because you’re on the set with them. No, no, just the women, they’re just, I mean, I think women have so many different sides to them. They tell us one thing. I’m totally in the head, they’re thinking some totally opposite, and women want it as much as men do overall.
53:51 You get to see social dynamics on a regular basis being at these nightclubs, and I’m curious if you have any revelations. It was the same, but it’s so funny. The model profession, when I went from modeling to doing promotions, it was almost a brother to it in a way, in a weird type of way. Because I was always around women models. I was always around women that wanted to be around guy models.
54:18 And cater to that, like those Penny Lanez, but not behind a rocker, rock and roller, you know, like, huh? Penny Lanez, I’m sorry. What does that mean? Oh, like, what was the name of the movie, the rock movie with the group, I can’t think of the name of it. I know which one you’re talking about.
54:35 It’s about the Rolling Stone writer that followed the group around. Yeah, yeah, exactly. like almost made it or almost famous almost famous you know you have gone yeah exactly so you have the penny lanes the head of the what the band-aids they call themselves you know like you know i was just for girls that were always going to be with them they always tried to be with the entourage of the group and always tried to be a center of that so you had those girls that always wanted to be around the models and especially the more you did or they knew you did the one the more they kind of group up and always be around at every model place you know it’s just like broken a group of broken groupies or jujitsu groupies or something like that what podcast group I suggested the flex more of your muscles I know you guys can see the arms on the sky but yeah it’s great women you start getting tuned right in like I’ll put some I’ll put some pictures up on our Facebook page you know our hours almost up guys but I just had a I just had a quick question cuz like I said you’re out all the time and you see you see this crazy social dynamic environment out in Manhattan and I was curious if you could tell the guys or the girls out there the one thing you see guys doing wrong and then the one thing you see guys doing right when it comes to interacting with women on a social basis? Women go out to have a good time. I think you have always three types of individuals depending on their
56:23 Social situation. You have the women that go out and they’re going out just to get laid. Just like men, they have the same agenda even if they don’t let on to it right away. Some let you know sooner than later and some let you know later than sooner. You also have the girls, they go out in groups with each other that want just to have fun with their girls and it could be a nice, you know, bonus. Yeah, bonus if they did meet somebody but they’re not gonna come home with you or they’re not, you know, they might change numbers with you because they’re not going to leave their girls, they’re there to hang out with them.
57:02 And then you have the antagonist that I call the woman that comes out just to tease you to start animosity in a way just to give you a ride. That’s the ones I always meet by the way. And then leave right when you all heat it up. Is that a large percentage of girls? That’s a large percentage of girls.
57:27 So guys, you have to know that you have to take it as light as possible and just kind of see the signs. Some of the signs of that type of girl is someone who’s either aggressive and then kind of pulls back and then aggressive and kind of pulls back. Yeah, but don’t you find that those ones, they’re usually like, if you find the chink in their armor, it’s like, it’s the easiest to bring it all down. not chink in their armor unless they want to be in the armor. Women are very hard to size up, period. Their psyche is so much more complicated than men’s.
58:03 I think it’s so much more simple. And they have so many walls. I think it’s just so many barriers to the woman’s psyche. And when you have, of course, liquor helps drop a lot of that. But don’t be fooled. I mean, like women can drink too and they may let on, they might look a little bit weaker at times and you feel like you can pounce. But yeah, they they but they have a second and they just already know before you already come up to them, they already have a second, third, fourth notion on how to get out of that situation. Okay, yeah, they have an agenda. They have a layered agenda. And I mean, men’s, we’re very basic in that way. Obviously, we have just agenda to meet a nice girl, whether we just want To just have a good time that night or whether we want something even more depending on the type of girl we mean if we connect with them in that way, but Guys are not the the bad ones You know women kind of women have that power to bring the bad out of you as well You know, like you know, we’re gonna get a reputation as the misogynistic Disclaimer out there. We love women We love you guys. You guys are the best is totally yeah, we have the problems Dude, I hate to wrap this up because this is so much goddamn fun, but is there anything that you want to promote while you’re in town or Twitter or Facebook page or anything?
59:24 I tell people I have a Twitter, but I’m not great at what I call spontaneous rhetoric. I can’t just tell you the color of my underwear, how I brush my teeth or anything like that. But no, King Arthur’s Passport is my company. If you’re ever in New York, you’re more than welcome. My Facebook, you can add yourself on my Facebook.
59:50 I’m on Twitter as well, Kingsborne1. And you know, find out what parties are going on, things of that nature. And yeah, help out everybody. I mean, I speak some Italian, Swedish, you know, I have a large international following. So, and we do really great parties, really fun.
1:00:12 So yeah, please come out, I’ll help you out. We’ll come check out. I know, we’ll come check out. Give you advice in restaurants and shopping and all that type of stuff, that’s my forte, so. And also how to find the chicks in category number one.
1:00:25 Yeah, I’ve never met that category. Watch out, I mean, I know a lot of them and it helps me a lot. Also, just to direct guys, I invite guys to my party too, not just beautiful women, Because girls, sometimes, you know, they want to be around lots of guys. They come out there just for that thing, so I introduce people all the time. I just make it easier for guys to meet women and women to meet guys along the same profession, or if girls like the opposite or guys like the opposite.
1:00:53 You know, I kind of already know that. So, yeah, I’m the real master of ceremony for my events. Nice, man. What a pleasure to meet you, Arthur, bro. Yeah, that was really good, man.
1:01:03 Really good. Thank you. Well thanks for listening and a big shout out also to Falling Whistles charity that I work a lot with that takes war-stricken children in the Congo and rehabilitates them from all the drugs and that makes them numb to do the atrocities that’s going on in their society. And then they educate, yeah, they rehabilitate them, educate them, and hopes just to embark and keep a philanthropic change in the environment. So it’s, it’s, it’s, uh, we’ll put that up, following voices, following voices.com.
1:01:45 Okay. Cool. Until the next time DJ, DJ stimulus, who we got a great party with last night and thank you guys for having me on. It was awesome. Really good stuff.
1:01:56 Right. mother, she was the little people, all the big people, the antagonist is the protagonist.
1:02:08 Thanks a lot for coming. Thanks, man.
