James Butterworth

Full transcript: James Butterworth on London Real

0:00 I’m here with James Butterworth, recent graduate of the Life Accelerator. Tell us about you, where you’re from, what you do. Okay, so, yeah, James. I’m a 38-year-old father of two. I live about 25 miles outside of London, so it’s been convenient for me. I haven’t had to come from Texas. So yeah, I was a designer and art director in advertising for years, and I’ve recently formed my own company with a business partner, so running a branding and creative services agency in London. Okay.

0:38 But in more recent years, as I said, father of two, so my focus has changed quite a lot. Obviously still need to make the bread and butter money to sort of look after my family, but really focused on my children, being a great dad. So yeah, it’s very important to me. Okay, what was the big challenge you were facing when you decided to join the Life Accelerator? What was going on inside in your head?

1:04 I think, I mean, all the communications that came from you guys seemed to reach me at just the right time. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas, and I think I’m someone that’s always had great ambition, big ideas, and I think that the various roles that I have, being a father, roles at my job, a devoted friend, son and so on, all the different roles and demands on my time, I feel, have made it really difficult for me to achieve my goals at the rate at which to meet my own expectations.

1:37 So I kinda saw this as an opportunity. I was aware of procrastination. I feel that I was definitely someone that kind of suffered from that, or practised it, should we say. So I just felt like, I need to nip this in the bud. I’ve always had these great ambitions. Every new year, let’s make this the year that’s gonna count, my year, the pivotal moment. But I think every year, I start on the right foot, but I don’t get where I want to get to.

2:10 So I saw this as an opportunity. If the Life Accelerator can’t do it, then it’s never gonna happen. So yeah. Why London Real? I would say London Real because it’s already made such a positive impact on my life over the last couple of years. I discovered you guys randomly through one of my own passions. I’m a big car enthusiast, and I was aware of Magnus Walker, and I’d seen some of his content that he’d put out before, and I just stumbled across this interview with yourself.

2:44 I’d never heard of London Real before. So this was a couple of years ago. You guys had been going a fair amount of time prior to that, but it just wasn’t on my radar. So in a strange, roundabout kind of way, I’ve discovered you through a completely different passion, not because I was trying to progress massively and be inspired, but just ’cause of my love of cars and Magnus Walker. He’s a very cool guy. So yeah, that was how it came about. I thought the interview was great. I wanted to know more.

3:14 So I then looked into it. So, went onto your site, found all the other episodes, and it’s made a real difference to me, because I think every single episode that you watch, there’s always, as you’ve obviously recognised in creating the Life Accelerator, there’s a couple of real gems in there that will resonate with you from every guest, whether it be Dan Pena or whoever.

3:38 I find that I’ve kind of taken those bits, and I find myself entwining those into my work when I’m talking to clients, when I’m talking to my family. These kind of real gems I pick up, I think they’re really important, and I’ve slowly implemented them anyway. So I guess the Life Accelerator I saw as an opportunity to really take ownership of these ideals and actually do them properly. Okay.

4:08 When you were getting ready to purchase the course in December, it’s a big investment. What made you actually say, all right, I’m gonna go ahead and do this? Yeah, that was an interesting one, ’cause it was, I would say, 2016 for me, it was the most expensive year of my life, in that I’d had a second child, redeveloped my house, building a better family home. So it’s been just outgoings, outgoings, all the time, and I really couldn’t afford to do the course.

4:38 So I know it’s not a huge amount of money. It’s a big enough investment that it should be considered for most people. It’s not cheap, but I really couldn’t afford it. But I just felt like I couldn’t afford not to do it. It was the perfect storm for me. I think I’ve had the biggest ideas and plans for this coming year than I ever have, and I felt like I was ready to really throw myself at it, get vulnerable, really engage with something and just make big changes in my life. I felt like it was the right time.

5:15 I guess with now two little boys that are dependent on me, I just wanna make sure that I can do the best for them, get those guys set up. So it just felt like the right time. I had to take action. I thought about asking for a loan from my mom, just because I literally really couldn’t justify it, at least the next couple of months. But I just thought, it’s another year ’til the next one. This is the first one, this is the one I have to do.

5:42 And with some help, I’ve made it happen, and absolutely no regrets whatsoever. It’s the best money I would say I’ve ever spent. I think some of the unexpected outcomes of this course, I think you literally couldn’t put a price on them. So, yeah, it’s been fantastic. How did it start out for you? You got the first module, you got the first lab call with me on there, you got the Facebook group, 60 people you never met, and they’re all around the world.

6:11 It was very cool. I think we were all… you’ve kinda got an infectious way. You get people excited about this stuff, encouragement, and I think everyone was really revved up, ready to go. I think we all had so one another festive period possibly where we’d signed up and now had time to think about what we were about to do. So I think there was a lot of anxiety, but everyone was revved up about it. And yeah, the first call was good. I kinda felt really, really pumped.

6:44 I guess like most people, maybe I was a bit sceptical, because I’d probably seen most of the episodes where these theories and thoughts that you were gonna implement in our lives, I’d probably seen most of them, and I kind of wondered, well, how’s this really gonna work for me? I could just take that on my own and implement it. But if I could have done that, I would have done it already. So I realised that this accountability is the difference. So yeah, it was nerving, but exciting at the same time.

7:19 When did you have your first aha moment, where you’re like, wait a second, I’m making some progress here, something’s changing about me, maybe even you surprised yourself with something? What was that? I think there were two. One was immediately. I feel like I’m a very distracted person. Maybe I’m just being pulled in quite a few different directions because of my commitments.

7:44 So the first one, module one was obviously, it was meditation and low-media diet and affirmations. And I was amazed how the low-media diet had an impact on my life. I didn’t feel like I was a really huge consumer of media. I don’t really watch the news anyway, but it was the notifications, the phone. You kind of realise how invasive these things are to your life, and I was just amazed, after one week, how detached I felt from this device in my pocket that, as you say, it’s a tool for when I need it.

8:20 It’s not there to distract me, which it obviously was. And I guess emails. Because I’ve got my own business, I’m also a contractor to other things, there’s an awful lot of emails coming in, ’cause I’ve got a few different interests going on. So, just implementing a lot of things from that, but also headspace as well. Getting that clear head was amazing. So module one, really, I felt like a massive change straight away, that I was just more focused and just much more clear headspace to think.

8:52 So, that was good. But the big breakthrough was module five, I think. Was that the family and relationships one? Yeah, yeah. For me, I guess this was the unexpected outcomes that I said you can’t put a price on, I would say for a few reasons, because I now have my own immediate family with my boys. I was probably two weeks away from, well, I guess just because of Christmas, I’d virtually purged my father from my life, and I was maybe considering some other purges within my family, which, it seems extreme, but I’d kind of come to these conclusions myself.

9:34 And what’s amazing is that with the Life Accelerator, I’ve used this to actually have one last crack at the whip, and I practised forgiveness with my father for a couple of things, one from a long-running thing from him sort of leaving my life at three years old, and more recent things that related to my own boys, lack of interest and not being excited for me having his first grandchildren.

10:02 So it’s been some quite big things, and I practised forgiveness with him and saw him, and I got an amazing text from him the next day that was basically just saying thank you so much for coming over and seeing me, what you had to say, and just that he’s very much looking forward to our moving forward together. So that’s an amazing thing to come out of the course. Sorry, I get a bit emotional. You’ve got me emotional.

10:33 And also repairing some troubled relationships I had with two of my sisters, and the feedback that I’ve got from the things that I’ve practised in the family and relationships part of this course has just been amazing. My two sisters are so happy with the actions that I’ve made, things I’ve put in place, that we’ve got these regular things that we’re now gonna do together so we can actually really get to know each other properly.

11:01 So yeah, it’s been unbelievable, the impact it’s had on my family structure. It was a complicated setup, I suppose, through divorces and marriages and things, and I think I’ve made some amazing progress that’s gonna positively impact my entire family. So they’re all really happy for what I’ve kind of started. Well, it says a lot about you that you decided to build a relationship with your father and not just purge him. Yeah.

11:31 So, it’s interesting to see how people deal with that relationship module, because at one point, if I see someone pull the trigger on the purge too quick, it tells you a lot about that person. I think it tells themselves even something about them, because it’s this fine line, and ultimately, I think it makes you look inside yourself even more. Even though we call it the relationship module, it’s almost kind of, who are you being to play a part in that relationship.

11:55 Absolutely, and I think it also for me demonstrated how the Life Accelerator can be so successful, because you’re not gonna sit there and say to me, James, your dad sounds like a douche, you need to get him out of your life, he’s the wrong guy. But what you actually do is you make us really go away, take the time, look inside. You’ve gotta go deep, because the deeper you go, the more you’re gonna get from this course. If you don’t fully dive in, you’re not gonna realise the benefits.

12:31 There’s so much potential in this course, but you have to embrace it 100%. I’ve had some major resistance as well throughout this course from… I don’t wanna make excuses. We’ll call it resistance, but tube strikes, workloads, all sorts of things have really heavily impacted my ability to take the time to do these modules properly. But I felt like, as you say, if you pull the trigger too quickly, I think you’re maybe gonna make the wrong decisions.

12:59 These are big things, if you’re about to purge someone as significant in your life as your father. You need to really think about that. And that module made me think about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. If I purge him, I’m literally closing a door on so many things for my sons. They will ask me in years to come, well, how come I’ve never met granddad? Why do I not know who he is? And if I’ve done that because of issues that I had, I’ve deprived them of an opportunity to get to actually know where I came from.

13:36 So, there’s some big stuff that’s come out of this course. Yeah, what’d you struggle with? I guess for me, it was the time. I think maybe for round two, when you do this next year, I think there might be a little tweak on the website about five hours a week, well, you can nail this in five hours a week. ‘Cause as they say, the more you put in, the more you get out. So I think managing expectations of what people really need to invest would be wise.

14:08 But it’s just happened over a busy period in my work life. So that’s what I’ve struggled with the most, ’cause I’ve wanted to really take this seriously. I’ve wanted to invest loads of time in it, and I’ve struggled to get that time. But I’m there. I’ve got some bits I still need to… I know there’s graduation, and I’ve got some holes in module six, but I feel so committed to this process.

14:36 And I’m very much looking forward to a quieter time next week in my work, as I can see it in the diary, and I almost wanna go back to the beginning and kind of run through this all again, ’cause I just wanna make sure that I’m fully embracing everything, and the new habits I’ve adopted in the last couple of weeks have slipped ’cause I’ve had to prioritise my work. I wanna make sure that they don’t drop off. I wanna make sure, moving forward, I’m doing the best that I can.

15:00 Tell me about the class you’re with. The class, what a great bunch of people! We’re from all walks of life, all different life stages. The age range is huge. But it’s been, I guess we’re using techniques and theories that you’ve gained from your guests who are great achievers, they’ve done so much, and yes, those are very inspirational. But actually, I found I was inspired so much by the people that were on the course, because we’ve all got our various struggles, whether mine’s time, or whether someone’s struggling with the relationship thing.

15:45 We’ve all got these struggles, but we’ve shared, we’ve been on that journey together. There’s been some real sort of inspirational moments in there, one being Eric really opening up and going deeper. I remember seeing a video where he said, I feel bad, because I’ve seen some people do some videos where they went deeper, and I felt bad that I’m not doing that. I’m not giving them as much value as they’re giving me. And that for me was a fantastic thing for him to say, to kind of recognise just the value everyone is giving.

16:20 Everyone’s so committed, and I think if you can go the distance, you can only win on this. You can’t fail if you go the distance. So it’s a shame, I know there were a couple of people who unfortunately couldn’t get through to the end. Hopefully they’ll stick with it and maybe revisit it. But yeah, the people have been fantastic, and I think they’ve helped. They’ve helped you to see greater things in all of us, ’cause we’ve had the calls with you, which are great, to kind of keep us on track, but actually, I would say all those amazing individuals are the people that really pull you through the six weeks.

17:00 We’re having a call on New Year’s Eve or the day before with everyone there, and I’m asking everybody, who are they gonna be on New Year’s? Who is James gonna be? I think James is going to be, as I feel now already, someone who’s… everything is possible. I feel that I’ve learned a lot about resistance, in that there has been a lot of resistance over these six weeks, but I’ve never once just thought, I can’t get through this, I haven’t got the time. I’m getting through it, albeit not quite on time, but I’m getting through it.

17:34 So I think that James at that point is going to be a massive achiever, ’cause I think I will have been practising all of this great stuff that I’ve learned and implemented over the last six weeks. I’ll be a year down the line, and just looking at the great stuff that I’ve achieved already, in unexpected areas, family and my health. I’m a stone lighter than I was when I started this course. I’m faster, lighter, leaner, I suppose. There’s been benefits in all areas, and I guess we’ve got 10 more months. So I guess I’m gonna be 10x what I am now, so yeah. I’m looking forward to it. I love it. Yeah.

18:15 What’s the big lesson that someone watching us or listening to us can take away from this course, everything that you learned over the last six weeks? If there’s one piece where you could say, try doing this or go do this in your life, what would it be? I think, I’m gonna quote someone who’s been an inspiration in my life. It’s a music producer called Goldie that you may be aware of. I was watching some content about him a couple of weeks ago, and he said, what you do today creates tomorrow, and that’s really resonated with me, especially with what we’re doing here.

18:50 So, I would say that anything is possible. There is resistance everywhere, and it’s just making that commitment, as we have to in this course. What you do today creates tomorrow. What I did signing up of this course has created a lot of tomorrows for me. I mean, it’s the rest of my life and everyone around me. So I just think, if you’re uncertain, I think you’ve got to make that jump. You’ve gotta get out of your comfort zone, ’cause that’s absolutely what we’ve done on this course.

19:21 We’ve done some very uncomfortable things, and we’ve got uncomfortable things to do tomorrow, jumping in a lake. So I think that’s it. I think if you’re unsure, but you’ve got a dream or you think something’s gonna make a difference, do it. Take that step forward. You’ve got to get uncomfortable. Let’s say we walked out in the street and we bumped into James that didn’t take this course. What’s that guy like?

19:46 I think he’s still a great guy, but he’s making a lot of excuses. I think he’s overwhelmed by probably having too much ambition and not committed enough to actually making it happen, probably still too distracted and making too many excuses, and I think that’s the biggest difference between that guy and me now. I feel like an evolution of James, James version two.

20:19 All the good bits of the original are still there, but I just feel that these changes, they’re considered, and they’re accumulative, and I think there’s a much better person sat in front of you today than there was six weeks ago. And the feedback that I’ve had from friends and family has been sort of unexpected. So it’s really good. They like the new you. Yeah, they do, and I think a lot of them have been inspired by the moves that I’ve made and the ownership I’ve taken of certain things in my life.

20:51 It’s already having a knock-on effect to the people around me. Actually, I had a conversation this morning with a really good friend of mine who’s going through tricky times, and they were just asking me so much about this course, the things that I’ve done and the modules. They wanna sign up, so there’s already someone for next year. But it’s so lovely to have a conversation with someone like that, because you realise just how far you’ve come, because that’s someone very close who’s seen the transformation in me. So it’s good, it’s all good. Very good.

21:26 To that person watching us right now who is on the fence, not sure if they should start an Accelerator or not, what would you tell ’em? I think they’ve absolutely got to do it, and if there is any resistance, if it’s financial, whatever it is, it’s not such an insurmountable amount of money that I’m sure someone dear to you can lend it to you, or you can cut something out of your life to pay for it. I mean, I think even just some of the habits that we’ve kind of formed, I think there’s certain things, financial savings anyway, just ’cause of stuff I’m not gonna get involved in and waste money on. So you can’t put a price on it.

22:02 You simply can’t put a price on the value that you’ll get out of this course. So, I mean, relationship with my father for however many years he has left. You just can’t put a price on that, and that’s just one example of something that’s happened to me. If you speak to the rest of the group, I think they’ll all have a similar story. So, do it, just do it. James, it’s been an honour having you on the course.

22:25 Thanks for growing so much and contributing so much to everyone else, and I can’t wait to see you on New Year’s and see this further progression, the 10x you. It’s very exciting, and, well, thank you, I mean, yourself and the rest of the team, for firstly putting this together, but putting up with us and pulling us through and calling us out on the Sunday nights. So, it’s been good. It’s been emotional, but it’s been amazing, so thank you. Awesome, man, it’s been my pleasure. You guys inspire me so much. So, thanks so much. I’ll see you at New Year’s, all right? Cheers, thank you, Brian. All right.