Philip McKernan – Believe In You

Who do you want approval from right now?

Are you driven towards your goals because they are valuable in themselves, or because you want to make a point to someone? Are you living authentically, or at the mercy of a story that no longer works for you?

This week’s guest on London Real is Philip McKernan. Philip believes that the biggest barrier to creating a meaningful life is the quality of relationship you have with yourself.

Many of us use success, money and work as a way to avoid listening to our intuition, and what that intuition is telling us.

For Philip, we live in a culture dominated by the mind. It’s his mission to turn people away from their minds, and towards their true selves.

After working with thousands of people from the rich and the powerful, to orphans in the poor world, Philip is convinced that our struggles and depressions can be healed if we would just stop and listen to our intuition.

We live a life running away from our feelings, but the sad truth is, according to Philip, they catch up with us eventually.

The question is not what we think about money, relationships, family and work. The real question is how do they make us feel?

It’s the story behind those feelings that holds the key to living a more fulfilled life. But as Philip says, it’s that very story we are doing our best to avoid.

As he tells me in the course of our amazing discussion, when we give up trying to be who we think we should be, and allow ourselves to be who we really are, then we can start to build lasting happiness and self-worth.

For most of us, who we are is tied up in what we do, and that’s what Philip is trying to steer us away from.

Can you define yourself outside the work you do?

Philip’s message is powerful, and he doesn’t waste words. This week’s interview is packed with ideas and practical advice on making the leap from what Philip calls ‘mindset’ to ‘soulset’.

Just listening to Philip Mckernan is gonna make you feel like you are doing serious and fulfilling inner work.

Phil talks about the talk he gave at the Studio the night before. [10:23]

What it means to be using your intuition. [12:00]

Going to a Guatemala and Peru without speaking Spanish. Working with kids to show them that they matter. [13:40]

How to use feeling. [16:00]

Success is manufactured in the mind, but happiness is cultivated in the soul. [16:40]

Success. Gut. Soul. Intuition. Mindsets vs Soulsets. [16:52]

Allowing the heart to lead. [17:46]

Communication is driven by emotion. The intuitive mind is a beautiful gift. The intuitiveness has become secondary to the mind. [18:30]

Disagreeing with Einstein. The mind cannot be intuitive. [18:55]

Making better decision. Thinking better. More aligned. [19:00]

We are being thought to use the mind. [19:45]

Insatiable appetite for the expansion of the mind. [20:06]

Prediction in 20 years, we had it all wrong. We should be honouring the intuition. [20:12]

The intuition/soul is unique to each of us. We want to fit into society. [20:29]

Success brings you away from societal push. [20:58]

Amassing information. Allowing information to move down to a place of knowledge, wisdom and awareness. [21:06]

Reading information because they are scarce. Feeling like we are missing out. [21:40]

Worried that life has passed them by or is passing them by. [22:10]

How they feel about themselves, and not about the age. [22:24]

Research as procrastination and research for a dopamine loop. [22:30]

Unplugging. [22:59]

Meditation as a way of not engaging. [23:13]

Thoughts on taking a step back from the goals and the busyness. [23:37]

Busyness is a badge of honour. [23:40]

Busyness equals success. Busyness equals business. [23:55]

Don’t have time for you. Don’t have time for themselves. [24:00]

Creating some space for time. [24:36]

Couldn’t even get into the car without turning on the radio. [24:51]

We don’t realise how bad we have become. [25:00]

My mother suffers from arthritis. Plugging some sensor into her. [25:05]

Emotional space. Mental space. [26:10]

Can we not stay in the classroom and do more work. I really think I’m getting somewhere. THe growth happens in the gaps and doesn’t happen in the busyness . [26:38]

Do you encourage people to unplug? [27:20]

I am all about the why? What you do becomes secondary. [28:30]

How to be a selfless parent. Busy people are selfish. [30:00]

Honour yourself. Therefore honour people around you. [30:38]

Phil’s wish for his kids 20,30,100 years from his death – he was present. [31:00]

Quality time is being with people. [31:20]

What is your relationship with money? [32:18]

Brian is an incredibly intuitive man. Choosing to honour intuition. Tapping into intuition. [33:30]

How do you feel about money. What’s the story behind the word? [34:30]

Freedom is about being able to lie in your bed, close your eyes, with a little stinky smirk, not every night and say “shit I’m living”. [35:00]

Working with couples. What is your relationship with relationships? [37:30]

Competitive edge being replaced by compassion. [38:10]

Minor comments from parents. [38:35]

Honouring how you feel can be a form of sabotage. [39:00]

Why most people come to see Phil? [40:00]

What happens off the ice has a massive impact on our ability to perform on the ice. [41:49]

Doing a job for work vs doing a job for the love of it. Parental and relationship issues. [42:00]

Working with kids, the biggest issue is value and self identity. [43:33]

Seeking validation from his father. [44:20]

Living our entire life to try to impress our parents. [44:40]

Who are you seeking validation from today? [44:53]

Living your life authentically as a person. [46:36]

The next level down – do you deserve to be happy? can you allow that person to love you? [47:05]

We are not really that fond of who we are. We don’t believe that people deserve us. [47:48]

My biggest challenge is that I’m not home with the kids. [48:00]

There’s a part of me that wonders are my kids better of without me. [49:30]

The depth of our stories and what we hold to be true and how it plays out in our lives. [49:40]

4 types of believes. Limiting believes, debilitating believes, adopted believes, what do I actually believe. [49:45]

Parents only seem to love him when he achieved something. What are the next action steps when people try to align themselves? [51:10]

When you come from the heart, a decision becomes absolute. When you comes from the head, you are in negotiation mode. [54:44]

Speaking the truth can eradicate 95% of our communication issues. [55:00]

Rationalise that he’s busy. [57:00]

Telling military people “I don’t think you are heros”. [57:11]

We obsess over looking for people to put on pedestals. [59:43]

When you put someone on the pedestal, they have to fall. [1:00:00]

Who are you when you hang your military uniform in your closet and move into the civilian world? [1:01:28]

We can replace military uniform with business, with parenting. [1:01:35]

The Travelling Soldier song by the Dixie Chicks. [1:02:40]

I won’t be the hero to my wife and I won’t be the hero to my children. [1:03:20]

What happens in a recession? Carnage and suicide. Losing means of income and the means of identity. [1:03:40]

How much of who we are is tied up in what we do? [1:04:05]

Tell me and show me who you are as an individual? [1:04:20]

What question do you ask people to get them to engage in that first? Tell me a bit about yourself. [1:04:35]

You scare me. This is a disaster from a marketing standpoint. They are scared of their own truth. I am relentless. [1:05:05]

The truth is the only thing that will set you free. [1:05:35]

What’s possible for them? Most of us have know idea what we are capable of. [1:06:00]

Unfinished business. A cluttered room that needs tidying. [1:06:10]

I have let go of the need for it to happen. Being attached to the outcome. [1:06:30]

Puzzle to the brain as opposed to a solution from the heart. [1:06:40]

It draws out the solution. It allows it to come. [1:07:00]

You can care but not be connected to the outcome. [1:07:20]

Brian approaching Phil at the event in Napa. I was scared of my truth. Phil’s going to read me in about 3 seconds. [1:07:40]

Are people seeking validation from you? [1:08:30]

What is Phil proud of? Real, authentic and true vs coming here to look good. [1:09:00]

What I do is lonely despite the fact I’m surrounded by people. [1:09:40]

I don’t have a lot of friends in Canada. I don’t mix work and my personal life, I’m just one individual. [1:10:00]

Our work needs to be an extension of who we are. [1:11:45]

Act upon what you do know. As opposed to not act upon what you don’t know as a reason. [1:12:40]

Sometimes you just gotta make a bold move and give it up. [1:13:00]

Do what the vikings did. Burn the ships because there is no going back. [1:13:05]

The shittyness in a job is blinding us to what is available to us. [1:13:25]

People say, yeah but how am I going to pay the bills. [1:13:30]

Doing what you love to do. What would you do if you did know? What would it be? [1:14:00]

Everyone of us know exactly what it is we want to do. [1:14:20]

Less about the fear. Do I deserve the success? Can I do it? Do I deserve to be happy? [1:14:42]

Shifting the internal value proposition. [1:14:55]

Confidence vs self value. [1:15:25]

Self worth and self esteem. [1:16:00]

Working with Olympic athletes. Your sport is boring. You are too attached to the outcome. [1:16:19]

Have a desire. Be clear about the outcome and then let it go. [1:17:30]

Don’t need it to validate who you are. [1:17:50]

Flow is available to everyone. [1:18:10]

What’s a kid from Ireland travelling around talking about identity in Vegas? How did you get here? [1:18:25]

Coffee business and wine business. [1:18:20]

If I continued chasing my goals, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. [1:20:20]

Really grasps what you have and have the courage to step out. [1:20:50]

That’s what I’m here to do. I know that from the heart and soul. [1:21:10]

Accidents. Beliefs. Taking action in the absence of clarity. Meeting great people. [1:21:20]

I don’t care if it’s you and your grandmother, I’m in.[1:21:48]

Jason bought into me. [1:21:55]

Let go of chasing opportunity and possibilities are opening up. [1:22:18]

The dream manifesto of the perfect wife. I could order you one of these from Toshiba. [1:23:25]

You can’t manufacture a soul. [1:23:35]

I forgot to put on the list. She couldn’t be psychotic. [1:24:00]

That could be the love of his life and he didn’t even see her because he was too busy chasing what he thought he wanted. [1:24:20]

Vulnerability is the doorway. [1:24:38]

I could talk about vulnerability for 4 hours. [1:24:50]

The dating analogy. Donna – this women is the epitome of courage. [1:25:10]

I’m not feeling it. Its not going to work. I don’t like women who wear make up. [1:25:55]

Vulnerability to yourself. [1:27:05]

The ultimate relationship is your relationship to yourself. [1:27:15]

The biggest bully you will ever meet is the bully you meet in the mirror every single day. [1:27:20]

A 14 year old’s feedback of the event was that it’s great to see that other’s have problem too. [1:27:58]

We are isolating vulnerability to the point that our vulnerability, what is real, our history and our inadequacy we wrap it and give it to our children and we say good luck. [1:28:25]

Allow kids to see your vulnerability. [1:29:00]

Confrontations. If only people spoke the truth more. [1:29:25]

We joke a lot and we’ve got a sense of humour. Its a good way to deflect. But not all the time. [1:29:40]

Where is the real conversation? [1:30:08]

Vulnerability in the context of personal relationship. Where does vulnerability show up in business? [1:30:20]

Guys you know what, I’m stressed. OK. I didn’t sleep last night. I don’t have the answers. [1:31:20]

Vulnerability is a great leadership style. The big caveat is that it can only be used in an authentic way. [1:31:38]

You know I used to wet the bed until I was 15 years old. [1:32:10]

You should do this -> You know I really struggle in school. [1:32:30]

Vulnerability is the truth. If you are not vulnerable you are hiding from people everyday. [1:32:55]

A team building day with a business. Team deepening day. [1:33:20]

A journey of getting to know each other. [1:33:38]

Competition is replaced by compassion. [1:34:00]

Was there anything in your life that had an impact on your success? [1:34:30]

Do you miss Ireland/London? You are in the west coast of Canada? [1:35:08]

I’m a cheshire cat on home turf going around with the biggest grin internally and externally and showing off this country and showing them off to themselves. [1:36:10]

Discover Ireland, discover you. Being the president of Ireland. [1:36:20]

A lot of people don’t want to experience me or my work. [1:37:22]

We spent a lot of time judging other people. [1:37:45]

How do you deal with Facebook comments? It hurts every single time. [1:38:10]

Youtube videos with my wife. [1:38:30]

Why is there an insatiable need to scale your business. [1:39:10]

Big is not always beautiful. [1:39:25]

Supporting my wife by drawing her into an environment that is uncomfortable to her but do it in a respectful way. [1:39:36]

Greatest magic came from the guy in the front row @ or the guy in the back row @ . [1:40:20]

I don’t get feedback from criticism. [1:40:40]

Working with retreat, mentoring programmes, executive experiences and work with leaders. Give them what they want vs presents them the possibility of what they need. [1:41:00]

Be open and be in tune with what fits for you. [1:41:31]

Advice to the 20 year old Phil McKernan. [1:41:48]

Best advice you’ve ever received. [1:42:45]

Advice to the 20 year [1:43:05]

What are the pieces that sit with them. What are the pieces that touches their soul. What are the pieces that don’t fit. [1:44:50]

Don’t get caught up with the obsession of education and information. Figure out who you are. [1:45:45]

Think of a gorilla. Doesn’t wake up and asks who am I. [1:46:47]

What is your truth. [1:47:57]

The only reason I’m sitting here is because of who you are. [1:48:51]

Don’t ever lose that please. [1:49:34]

Stay in touch. Want a hug? [1:50:10]

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That interview was AMAZING, watched it twice!


what a great interview !!! thank You Brian!


Really took a lot from this!




Thanks a lot for this interview and I really sense the quality of the discussion. Mega?


The most real interview on Londonreal


The best real interview I have ever seen. Thank you so much for this!! Deeply grateful!

By far, one of my favorite interviews. Thank you for making this happen!


Really enjoyed this interview, my favourite so far. Great work, thank you

Nissa Williams
Nissa Williams

Such honesty and wisdom in this interview. There’s POWER in vulnerability.


[…] Follow your passions and interests, don’t waste time “pissing into the wind” […]


[…] you need more McKernan in your life click here to take a look. Early on in the actual London Real episode, Brian and Philip get into an absorbing dialogue about the relationship between the mind and […]


[…] McKernan links: Philip McKernan’s Website Philip McKernan on YouTube Philip McKernan on Twitter Philip McKernan’s first appearance on London Real Philip McKernan’s first previous Live Event at London Real […]

Louis Johnson

I spoke to my parents after this video… Managed to tell them that I never felt like they supported me in my decisions. Never felt like they believed in me, and how I was choosing to spend my time. They would say nice things, but I could feel them really saying something else. Needless to say that I have connected on a deeper level with them, more than I ever had before. They understood me, and I finally understood them. Seriously, if you are like me and feel that your parents don’t support you. TALK TO THEM. Please. Because I… Read more »

Deepa Shah
Deepa Shah

stir something inside me thankyou brian and philip.

Aurelian Spodarec

Validation? I’m seeking validation only from the girl that I don’t know if she likes me and all that stuff : p

I love this video

Aurelian Spodarec

Please, where is the x2 speed button?

carla perez
carla perez


Patrick J. Douglas

Amazing interview with two amazing people both Brian and Philip have and are continuing to have an impact on my life.

Matt Harwood

This interview is pure, unfiltered gold. It’s everything I needed to hear. It’s funny that a lot of us are addicted to finding tactics, lifehacks, and new techniques to quicken the rate at which we’re ignoring our honest beliefs and direction. This hit me like a train and I can’t thank Brian, Philip and the London Real team enough for creating this opportunity for the audience to grow in a very fundamental way. I fear a lot of us that are working on our business, creating wealth and opportunity will disregard philosophies like Philip’s, but I truly hope not as… Read more »