“If you want to learn, experience. You are your greatest teacher.”
In short: Dylan Werner joined Brian Rose in 2019 for a Success Secrets clip. Asked what he would tell his 20-year-old self, then serving in the Marines, he said he would say nothing at all, and went on to share what he counts as his greatest accomplishment, why asking “why” never serves you, and why experience is the only real teacher.
Dylan’s answer to Brian’s opening question surprised him: he would not give his younger self any advice, because whatever he did worked. He then told a story from a festival circle, where a friend asked who loved themselves and he was the only one to raise a hand.
From there the conversation moved to the advice of his teacher before a vision quest and to a closing question about how to explore the body as part of the mind, which Dylan answered by saying you can only understand something by living it.
Key takeaways
- Say nothing to your 20-year-old self. Dylan said he would let that young man do his thing, because it obviously worked.
- Self-love is his greatest accomplishment. He called being able to love himself the single greatest thing he has done.
- Love for others starts at home. He said it is hard to form connections, or to love others, if you cannot love yourself first.
- Drop the word why. His teacher told him that “why” wants things to be different from how they are, whereas what, who, where, when and how are useful questions.
- Pain can fuel more pain. Dylan said people who do not love themselves may try to feed their pain with more pain, whether they realise it or not.
- Experience is the only teacher. In his words, you only know what you know through experience, and others only share their knowledge with you.
Loving yourself
Dylan recalled sitting in a circle at a festival when a friend asked who loved themselves. He was the only one in the group to raise a hand, which blew him away. He said it is probably his greatest accomplishment, and that it is hard to see how many people cannot honestly say it.
He believes that without self-love it is hard to build relationships or to look after the planet, and that when you can love yourself you can become a mirror for others, reflecting the love they have.
Why “why” will never serve you
Dylan said his teacher gave him a question before he went on a vision quest: you can ask what, who, where, when and how, but why will never lead you anywhere. In his teacher’s view, asking why is wanting things to be different from how they are.
He noted that this is hard because curiosity about why is ingrained in our culture, but said that the question reflects how we feel about the situation.
You are your own greatest teacher
Asked what he would say to someone who has never considered the body and mind as one thing, Dylan said he had already answered it: until you explore something through experience, you will not understand it. You need to move through it or let it move through you.
He said that even if he gives a talk to a hundred people, everyone will take away something different, because each person adapts what they hear through their own experience. For that reason, he said, you are both your greatest teacher and your only teacher.
Who is Dylan Werner?
Dylan Werner is a teacher and speaker who appeared on London Real in 2019. In this clip he talks about his time in the Marines as a young man, a vision quest guided by his teacher, and the practice of exploring the body and mind through direct experience.
Frequently asked questions
Dylan said he would not say anything, because whatever he did worked and he would let that young man do his thing.
He said learning to love himself is the single greatest thing he has ever done.
His teacher told him that asking why is a wish for things to be different from how they are, whereas what, who, where, when and how are more useful questions.
No. It is a short Success Secrets clip from London Real, in which Dylan answers Brian Rose’s closing questions.
